I sit here waiting for your text, but knowing it’ll never come.
I sit here waiting for my death, but knowing it’ll never be done.
I sit here waiting for the love of my life, but knowing he’ll never show.
I sit here waiting, cutting my wrists, but that’s something you’ll never know.
Tag:
Sit
I’ve been battling on and off depression and anxiety for three years, but my parents don’t understand, no matter how much I talk to them. I can never get along with them. They fight with each other frequently over different things. Just today my parents were yelling at each other over my brother, who has autism. He couldn’t understand a simple topic, which caused my mother and him to get in a fight and leave her in tears. Then my father came and yelled and her. Then they yelled at each other. Then they both left. This happens a lot, and my mother talks about […]
If I was just a bit skinnier.. Just a bit smarter.. Just a bit funnier.. Maybe, just maybe, she’d like me more then him.. But I’m not. And she doesn’t.
Just the thought of her with him makes me wanna overdose on my antidepressants. She is my world. My everything. And my everything has left and now I’ve got nothing. Which leads me to believe there’s nothing left to live for. Nothing to let go. So why the fuck is it so fucking hard to do so?
Why can’t I walk away from nothing when my everything just walked away from me? Why can’t I just […]
I just need to get it out. I’m 30 in July. I’ve never once had a job. I’m mentally disabled but can’t get on disability. Everyone treats me like I’m trash not worth helping. I’ve been bullied all through school, treated like I’m scum by the government, and my own family looks at me with contempt.
All I do anymore is sit and cry. When I try to talk to anyone it’s always “What do you have to be depressed about.” I can’t afford to get help, the government keeps denying me help because my parents aren’t complete assholes, and every place I apply to looks […]
I think I am indeed going insane. In a heartbeat I’ll be gone from being numb to aching for a blade in my hand. I cut but I don’t understand why – I don’t feel anything. 50 times last night and I don’t feel anything. I was going to make myself homeless, but even any benefits I could’ve gained from that would’ve gone out of the window now. There’s nothing I can do to make my life worth living. So I’ll just sit here until I go completely insane or I slit my wrists, either way, it isn’t going to end well.
Due to the […]
If there’s something I could change about myself  I wish I wasn’t soo sensitive and that things wouldn’t get to me. Yesterday at school something someone said got to me and what they said wouldn’t usually bother me. The people at lunch I usually sit with(which is only 20 minutes) kicked me out of the table and said “we don’t really know you and don’t understand why you sit with us considering you’re a sophomore and we’re freshman and you have plenty of friends in school so I don’t see why you sit with us and you don’t really talk” the thing is that isn’t […]
I just want it over, the pain and loneliness.. just to end. I get up, I do what is expected, and I wait.. and wait, and wait some more. I married, for the third time, a widow twice. Want a divorce, but it just is not worth the effort, there would not be anything any better later. I’ve thought about ending it over the years and always said I couldn’t do that to others, but who are the others? There’s no one here, no one to find me, or to give a shit. I just want to go home and be with Jim. I lied […]
“The woods are lovely dark and deep..” Was he thinking what I’m thinking?
by LostOlHope
written by LostOlHope
Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
Why can’t she see that I’m not alright?
Why can’t she see that I need her?
Why can’t she see that I hate myself?
Why can’t she see how I feel about her?
More importantly, why do I have to feel this way about her?
Why do I have to love her?
Do you know how often I hear people talk bad about gays, lesbian, and bisexuals? I listen to people go on about how it’s “Immoral” or “wrong” and I just have to sit there, clenching my fists, wanting to punch them all in the face. Because if they knew. If they really knew, then I would never be accepted. […]
i am broken inside and out…….. i try to be happy but no matter how much i try i can’t seem to be happy i am always in pain and misery. i sit in the corner waiting for someone to save me and bring me to life …… to make me happy again and play with me …. but no one seems to want to play with a broken and used doll who has been torn and hurt so many times! so i just wait and wait and the days go by and no ones seems to want to help… no one seems to […]
It doesn’t hurt to grow up poor. It doesn’t hurt when your daughter is born with medical problems. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your father died. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your step-father died. It doesn’t hurt when you sacrifice happiness for duty. It doesn’t hurt having your dog put down. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your grandmother died. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your “other†mother died. It doesn’t hurt not being there when your uncle died. It doesn’t hurt when you sacrifice happiness for others. It doesn’t hurt watching others destroy what you built. It […]
Sometimes I just sit in class and wish so many things. I hate going to school. I wish there was no such thing. I wish I was born when school seemed so much easier. I wish I had a tree that grew money. I wish my hair would stop falling and thinning. I wish I was skinny. I wish I was pretty. I wish I wasn’t dumb. I wish I had nothing to regret. I wish I had all my pets. I wish all the worthless and horrible people would die. I wish I had a walk-in closet filled with clothes. I wish I had […]
I could fight, but then I might
All too knowingly invite
Useless hope into this life
A life that isn’t right
Made of dark, afraid of light
Called to empty, endless night
A life that isn’t even life
I could plead, get on my knees
And beg my God to fill my need
But where is He now when I bleed?
And then I sit alone and read
Of those who in their pain secede
To death’s thirsty, luring greed
Let me follow where they lead
I could fake and lie and break
In secret, cuts and bruises make
To cope with a life I long to take
Hating every day I wake
Living only for your sake
Drowning in this burning lake
Sinking down […]
Dont sit on the sidelines.. its time to Fight back.. Ive always fought back..to prove i wont and dont have to put up with this..last option, Suicide if all else fails… your choice.. and its Always an option.. Keep fighting.. and if it comes to suicide.. then choose wisely..
I just can’t see the other way out. When I want to go ahead and commit suicide I tell myself I should at least try telling people and seeing if things get better soon. But I don’t see how. How can you bring that up? How do you look your family in the eye and tell them you feel like shit? How do you admit you’re not their good little girl anymore? How do you convince them they haven’t failed, it’s just the way you are? How do you tell them you’ve been hurting for years and they never knew? How do you sit at […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried so hard for so long that i’ve got nothing left in the tank. What’s left for a person at this point? How do I continue to struggle on? Where can I find inspiration in a world that I detest so wholly? Why do i sit here typing in these questions hoping they’ll be magically answered?
Why is it wrong for a person who has gone their whole life caring about others to finally be selfish for once? Even if that selfish act is suicide.
I’ve no desire left to exist, I […]
raindrops dripping one by one
until they’re strong enough to take me over
falling back, taking it slow, sleeping by the windowsill
never works, never helps
they’re wrong
they’re all wrong
they sit and talk as if i care
the bounds of reality slowly take me in
until i can bare it no longer
but then the little raindrops fall into place
one. by. one. by. one.
i am finally at rest
It’s been a few months now and these feeling of harming myself haven’t disappeared. Everything started to pile up on me. My A levels, Uncle dying, Being ill and many other factors. The more I left it or tried to forget the more it grew like a cancer in my mind. I would sit and zone out constantly. Always thinking the worst things. A few weeks ago I finally broke down and told my family what I was feeling, probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Everything started to move along, before I knew it I was talking to a doctor about it […]
I was going to post a short story and pose the question whether or not my life has been worthwhile and ask myself if I would be better off never being born or committing suicide as a teenager. (I am a lot older now). It got rather long.
Of late my rants have gotten rather lengthy and I found this one to be getting the same. I am not sure that my condensed life story and my trials and tribulations would help anyone on this list except the elderly. Old people seem to be a great minority at this web site. I decided to sit on […]
The pain hurts so bad, my body feels like someones chrushing it, and i can barley breath. Once again im alone, depressed, and with many sharp objects all i have to choose. But i sit on my bed staring at the clock whispering one more minute as his voice screams in my head “it’s our secret”…..”you better keep it”
“Or i’ll kill you” i wanna scream fun back to my friends, but i’ve gone home for that night and again im alone, the pain is just to much as flashbacks push there way into my head. My heads throbbing and im shaking, it feels like someones […]