so im kind of new to this & so far it looks great .. obviously i have my own share of problems or i wouldn’t be here .. so this is my story .. I was born & raised in CA & my grandparents raised me .. i recently ( its been 2 yrs now) moved back with my real parents & we’re all the way in Tonga ( island in the south pacific ) & so far its been a major change .. school , life , boys , new people , etc etc .. tbh i didnt want to move , but i had no […]
Once when I was little I was happy and carefree I used to run around laughing
Until it was time for tea I used to play games And smile all the time I used to feel on top of the world I used to feel fine It’s amazing how things change When people let you down And how that once happy face Turns into a solemn frown
You search and search For someone who cares Anyone who understands Anyone who dares Loneliness, it hurts It kills you deep inside It makes you feel empty It stops you in your stride You cry yourself to sleep Hugging your pillow tight Wishing for someone To hold you through the night Once when I was little I was happy and carefree Now […]
Why are we all here on this site ?
It’s the problem of pain, we want to destroy !
Where the pain come from ?
From non-acceptance !
Of people that reject.
And the main role in play, it is we, who won’t even accept ourself.
And worse way round, we even want to change others, but sure to fail !
We hate this, we hate that.
And it’s so common to be told, just change this or that, we’ll be alright.
But easier said than done, to change ?
We are already where we are, and that’s it, all that we humbly (or proudly) need is to first […]
My “What if?” turned into “Should I?”. Then that “Should I?” turned into “When should I?”. Soon after that, “When should I?” turned into “How should I?”. It all starts with one thought. That one thought drew in so much pain. When suicide becomes an option, it’s suddenly the only thing we see. It narrows our thoughts to only suicide.
Then your feelings start to become dangerous. But you don’t want anyone to know, right? So you lie. You lie about your feelings. You lie behind your smile. You lie to yourself. All we want is to be happy. Sometimes we can’t remember the last time […]
I’m Carys, and this is my story. It started back in seventh grade, from January to now. I had recently met a girl, Kristin. We clicked right away and life was good. Until summer. One of my friends from before, Olivia, started acting up a bit. She was quieter, and preferred to stay behind more. I got concerned, but she wouldn’t say anything. Later, I discovered Kristin was a lesbian, and she liked me. I was kind of astonished, and I didn’t know what to think. Eventually, I fell in love with her. At the same time, however, Olivia revealed to me she liked Kristin. […]
what do you do when you can’t take it anymore. You have people willing to help but because they probably tired of hearing it. And what can they do to help? Its not a quick fix. What do I do, when I have a best friend. And shes not a normal best friend, shes like a sister, but more. Someone I love more than anything in the world. Someone Im there for all the time and the only reason im here right now is because I love her to much to let her go. Selfish in a way I guess. But even tho she means […]
Only 20 minutes ago i stumbled onto this site. I wasn’t looking to share a story about my life, or connect with others who felt the same as i do. I simply was looking for a small amount of inspiration for a friend of mine who’s thought of suicide. After finding this site i was instantly reeled in by a numerous amount of stories. Stories written by people right now just like myslef. Only a few minutes ago i read one about someone who wishes to die right now. And i know they’re not the only one wishing for the same relief..
Yes, i have thought […]
I’m listening to a song as I work on my project. I do 3D modelling for personal release even if it isn’t comeplete. I’ve been working on an eye since eyes are another thing I’ve drawn well that hasn’t stopped. Eyes see everything even what they brain doesn’t process. Pain, happniess, sadness, weakness, strength joy, it see the world and what you see is reflected in them when the camera captures you in a freeze.
My eyes see the blurr frm tears that won’t fall. I’m still doing anything to distract myself because I have no real hope anymore. Just a passive motion. I’m […]
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†They will die. Their hearts will break. They will hurt, more than you […]
i hide the pain with the wall i built and the smile i put on everyday……
but when my wall breaks and my smile turns upside down…..
that’s when i think about suicide.
will i be here for today or tomorrow?
or will they win?!
Last night i cried myself to sleep.I’ve been hurt so much.Being in middle school has not been the funnest of times because “my friends” bullied me so bad to the point i wanted to kill myself.I still remember that day and how i ran to a ditch and sat hoping somebody would kill me.But when that failed i did a pill overdose. That did nothing too. I prayed and prayed and prayed and asked god why he was doing this to me?! no reply. That same day i walked to my mom’s job as i do everyday.I walked onto her school campus,knowing in my heart […]
DON’T END YOUR LIFE , DON’T GIVE UP , REACH OUT TO ME.
Before you decide to take your life, imagine who will find you. Imagine them walking into a room, and seeing you just hanging there. Whether it be your little sister, little brother, mother father, grandparents, a friend. Imagine what will happen when they find you. No, they will not say “Finally, they’re gone.†No, they will not say “I’m happy they did that.†No, they will not say “I never loved them anyways.†[…]
and here we are again. Back to old self-defeating habits. Hope?
What is hope? Is it believing that there could POSSIBLY be something better? Is it waking up and looking forward to the following day?
Happiness?… We use this word as if it’s nothing. As if in a split second everything could go from complete shit, to being honky dory and you could be happy for the rest of your life. When someone asks me why I can’t “Put on a smile! Get out of the house!” I honestly don’t even know what to say. Yes, I know how to smile. But I don’t know how to mean it. All […]
Last night I went to one of my best friend’s house. She
asked if I wanted to go get ice cream and when I said yes her face lit up. She
kept asking if I was sure, as we drove to the ice cream place, as we stood in
line, as we ordered. I spent the night and this morning we went into her
kitchen and devoured all the food we could find, like normal teenagers. Â After everything we ate she would offer
something else, I would say yes, and she would just smile cheek to cheek. Afterwards
we went to a pool and while […]
I give up. I can’t be bothered waking up everyday to be mooching around my house with the same thoughts going through my head. Faking the smile for people, but inside dyeing. Not being able to attend school because I can’t cope. Not having any friends, just faking the smile for your family because you can’t bear hurting them anymore. Keeping everything to yourself because you trust no one. I just want to get out. I would say whats wrong on here but I can’t I need to get it off to someone.. but who?, I can;t take this no more.
I come from a decent family and did not suffer a tramatic childhood. However it was not perfect. There was poverty. There was social services and cops. There was divorce and suicidal thoughts. What are we here for? To keep working, smile at eachother. If you don’t desire possessions then you don’t desire money. If you don’t care about money then you don’t care about a house,car,family ect. So why try? 40,60,80,100 years on this earth to make and work for what you leave behind? Why wait? I care too much about my family to make them look for my body. I care to much […]
“What hurts when I remember this song is remembering how someone you love doesn’t love you back, aond you feel like it’s the end of the world. Little did I know that when the sun rises, a whole new beginning was looking at me, waiting for me. That beginning will always remembers you and returns when the sun sets. And when the going gets rough, the sun will be there for you until it sets. So in short words there is no end. Just a new beginning. ”
I feel like I haven’t written anything on here in awhile. Anyways, I’ve realized that sometimes life has […]
Outside I’m happy
Inside I’m sad
Why can’t all of me feel glad.
Why can’t my happiness go deeper within
So my heart doesn’t feel like a sin.
A great big smile for u all to see
But behind the smile there is much pain with me.
I wish I could cry and realise the pain
instead this sorrow feels it must remain.
So I write my poems for u all to hear
But my life u must not fear.
The words must be said the feelings felt
Then the dark thoughts will hopefully melt
my boyfriend and i have broken up , for good this time.
we’ve been together for a long time.
I made him my everything , my life , i trusted him and opened my heart to him .. gave him my heart.
He was the only one to have the key to my heart.
But the other day i had to make the hard decision of leaving him..
i was always second best , i wasn’t his main priority , though i always had time to make him mine.
He had crushes on girls , threw them ontop of my importance in his life..
it […]
my boyfriend and i have broken up , for good this time.
we’ve been together for a long time.
I made him my everything , my life , i trusted him and opened my heart to him .. gave him my heart.
He was the only one to have the key to my heart.
But the other day i had to make the hard decision of leaving him..
i was always second best , i wasn’t his main priority , though i always had time to make him mine.
He had crushes on girls , threw them ontop of my importance in his life..
it […]