I’ve messed up yet again. I dont understand why I always do everything wrong. I’m not thát stupid, I know that. I guess I am semi-smart. So why do I always fail everything? I actually wish I was just an ordinary retard, I could just follow a meaningless education (or none, whatever) and there wouldnt be any expetations. I dropped yet another class and my mom just thinks I hardly have school. I just cant do everything. Or anything. I can barely wrap my brain around 1 assignment and because I’m so afraid I will fail again I just cant seem to make any progress. […]
I really feel like I don’t belong here. For awhile, I thought I was holding on for a purpose, but now I just feel like it is my time to go. I can’t hurt everyone who loves me. I promised myself I wouldn’t do that to them, they don’t deserve it. I was getting counseling, but I hated every second of it… I thought it would be hard to convince my therapist I was okay again, but it wasn’t… at all. The lies came so quickly, I know the perfect things to say. She believed me, every expression she gave was of utter joy. She […]
I just started dating my REALLY good friend-known each other for almost nine months now- and he lives in Egypt. He’s really sweet, kind, and I absolutely love his smile, but the problem-for us- is we have to date online. My family doesn’t really like it when I do that-date over the internet. Especially my sister.
The things that she doesn’t like? Well, to start off, his age. He’s really turning 20 in May. Saying that, I know everyone is going to care about that the most, just like Tiff-since ALL boys at 19 think of only one thing- but please just let me keep going.
Things […]
People just don’t take me seriously. I must be that good of an actress. I try to put on a smile everyday so no one nags me about my problems.
Today in class, we went over the symptoms of depression; Yeah, they all sounded just about right. I know I’m depressed, and no one else knows that. I am showing the symptoms, but would anyone even care to take notice? No.
“Ask for help” should be the first thing to do right? Well I did. I requested to see a therapist. I told my aunts and they said “Sure we’ll find you one.” Two years later, I’m […]
I’ll miss your smile
I’ll miss your laughter
And the way
You look at me
I’ll miss your might
And the way you falter
And in the night
You’ll come to me
I’ll miss your eyes
I’ll miss your banter
And your voice
Speaking so low
I’ll miss your heart
And the way you suffer
For the art
You love to know
I’ll miss your light
And the way you shine it
And in the night
You’ll think of me
I’ll miss your tears
I’ll miss your clatter
Rush on by
No time to bleed
I’ll miss you near
Here is all that matters
But I must cheer
When you set […]
I hate waking up to a new day.
I loath the way people smile in the mornings.
I can’t stand the sun shining, too much light.
I pass the day watching the clock, waiting for the daylight to end.
Darkness brings peace.
Darkness brings quiet.
In the dark, problems fade.
My face shows no weakness
My body stands strong
but my soul, through the deepness
constantly longs
For a hero to come
come and rescue me
yet, I know there is no one
there’s no one here to see
The pain I always feel
lasting all this while
to know this hurt so real
can be hidden with a smile
~Fallenangel33
Hi. My life story? I’m fourteen years old. My parents are divorcing, and I know it’s because of me, I was their mistake. My dad wanted kids at first, but my mom didn’t, now neither of them really want me. I have friends, and I seem like a normal crazy teenager. But hey, a smile can’t hide everything. My uncle committed suicide. I’ve thought about it many times. The only thing holding is my best friend, her brother died a few years ago. She has thoughts of suicide too. My words have always stopped her, I just wish that I could believe them myself. I’m […]
today i was talking to this guy i like for 3-4 months right. and he told me he  take culinary arts. and i said “really, you takke culinary arts”? i said it in a kind of mean way but i was just playing with him like always, and then he looked at me and said
“Do you take 101 classes on how to be ugly, because if so your doing a great job on it”.
He didnt have a smile on his face, or anything, he was serious, and he turned around. i know when he’s joking and when he’s not, and he did have an attitude […]
There is this guy named brendan that I have liked fir over 3 1/2 months. We were never dating but I assumed that he was intrestesed in me for several reasons. Its been a while and we don’t get to see each other often so I’m always becoming worried that we will never be together. People always tell me that we’d look cute together and he’s always nice and makes me smile, but i m getting the feeling that his intrest for me is going nowhere. I have been on an off with him but it hit me an hour ago that we probably were […]
Just because I smile doesn’t mean I’m really happy. Just because I’m smart doesnt mean I’m mentally stable. Just because I wear clothes that cover up my body doesn’t mean I don’t have cuts and bruises from bullies underneath. Just because I am against suicide doesn’t maan I don’t consider it myself. Just because I help other doesn’t mean I don’t need help myself. Just because I like school doesn’t mean I like it because it’s fun.
Please don’t leave.
Don’t be like everyone else, making false promises and saying you’ll always be there
only to disappear
Be the one I can see when I turn my head, looking back at me with a reassuring smile
or the one that is on the side stage, cheering me on as I face the world
The one holding my hand as we walk through the crowded streets.
The one.
Don’t leave me hanging
as you get distracted by another situation and go to see what it is
to come back a second too […]
Dear whomever this may concern, or those who may care,
You are probably wondering right now what you may have done to prevent this or if you even could. The answer is maybe, thought probably not, this decision in the end will be all mine and not yours, so no, it was probably going to happen eventually. I know that you are probably asking yourself why? Well, that is a very easy question to answer. It is because no matter how much people love you and try their best to give you solace, it is not enough to satisfy someone if they feel utterly alone in […]
” … Before you smile, you gotta cry sometimes … ”
http://youtu.be/6ZNn0O31Fz0
” … believe in higher dreams and reach for the sky.”
flight instructor dawg
Nurses whispered, like a constant buzzing
Looking down on us, judging us
She rested on the bed next to me
Sick from the pills they gave her
Listen        Â
Follow
Conform
In a place where friendship is weakness
Eleven is too old for trust
Never asked but always taken
Pain is exchanged for freedom
Smile
Adapt
Recover
Running scorching water over my hands
The first time I tried to burn
Unyielding ghosts clung to me
She watched lazily from her bed
Haunting
Deceiving
Thief
I am a fifteen year old girl who hates her apperance who would Love to just finally kill herself and get life over with. I am good at hiding my emotions and i am just so so so tired of going on.
i know people lifes are horribly bad but mine is no walk in the park either. My mom sees what she wants my two older sister care but do they care enough? my dad didnt even want me he wanted my second oldest sister. I have been trying to kill myself since 5th grade. this year i was baker acted twice and i […]
i lay here and wonder.
why did you do this to me?
why did you treat me like i was nothing?
why did you throw me away?
i tried so hard to be completely perfect,
and irresistable with every touch.
i tried and tried to make you smile.
but i was slowly running out of luck.
you put me through so much pain,
and torture,
and agony.
you made me feel stupid,
like i was so useless.
like i couldnt do anything on my own.
i wasnt very independent,
i relied on you,
to help me,
and to carry me through.
but what you did […]
Ive actually forgotten how to be happy, how to actually smile and mean it instead of pretending i mean it, I’m so used to pretending im happy that i dont actually no how to anymore 🙁
I try and do the things that i love doing, talking to people who i love talking to but nothing seems to work, i just dont no how to be happy anymore, if im ever happy i literally lasts for about 5mins and then its like im back to reality again! Today i went to see my nan and there was loads of trouble down there and today i realized […]
I smiled yesterday…this smile comes once every 2 or 3 months or so. I take a picture everytime because I dont know the next time it’ll happen. It may be a weak smile..but its more than ive had. The reason was because someone made me feel beautiful…to have someone think youre pretty is something to smile about. I dont get it often and it makes me smile every time. Thank you, John. The simplest comments brighten my days.
Your smile has been on our minds. Your positive attitude and incredible sense of humor is forever embedded in our hearts. Even people who barely knew you are deeply touched by your actions. You lost hope like many of us do. Maybe life kicked you  down one too many times.  Maybe you couldn’t find help in any of your friends. You’re heart was torn and you couldn’t mend it, but there was hope for you. You were a ray of sunshine among us. I hope you finally found peace. I hope our escape mended your heart and you can finally be happy. I […]