As of right now I list a lot of things that are going wrong with my life. I put in my two weeks at a job I hated and when I put in my two weeks they started telling me not to come in everyday so I’m getting no hours, I still haven’t found another job despite applying at tons of places and I’m financially screwed. I was forced to move back in with my family in order to get away from the latest in a string of abusive relationships. I owe my college over $3,500 for dropping out and can’t go back to school […]
Tag:
someone
Why can’t I find someone who actually loves me for me? Why do they always expect me to change?
You’ll find a rooftop to sing from
Or find a hallway to dance
You don’t need an edge to cling from
Your heart it’s there, it’s in your hands
I know it seems like forever
I know it seem like an age
But one day this will be over,
I swear it’s not so far away
-Florence and the Machine
Sorry, that was kind of random, but I think of this when I’m really down and thought maybe they could make someone feel a little better/
I could be her friend if I really wanted to, but I’d have to wear a costume, and those aren’t very comfortable after a while. You start to sweat and the built up perspiration makes it muggy inside and so it gets hard to breathe; it’s a whole ordeal. I’d get to know her, but she’d never get to know the real me, and I want so badly for someone to see and accept me for who I really am. I could be her friend, but it wouldn’t be real. It’d be real enough for her, sure, but what it would amount to is a […]
i wish could go back and do things over but i cant. its to late to much has happened, no one will help me. i had a chance and already it gets fucked up. if i could go back i would have done it differently, but its to late. god is laughing at me for sure now. i just hope i get to what i need to do before someone else dose they would make me suffer. im almost glad people think i have an std. im afraid to get tested because if i do and people find out i dont and if they get there […]
I hate everything about my body. I wish I could afford all the cosmetic surgery necessary to fix it. I wish there was some kind of medical procedure available so I could remove my mind and put it in a body that isn’t hideous. I know I’m genetically inferior because everything about me is horrible. Someone told me once that I look like a certain celebrity, it was not flattering, and after I realized how ugly everyone else thinks I am I wanted to put a gun in my mouth and die.
“I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies [..] I’ll tell you my sins so you can sharpen your knife” (hozier)
written by freedomseeker
Her voice is like a falling leaf sliding upon the air. Don’t get mistaken, this is not about any notion of loss or death. Rather the contrary, actually. It is about harmony, subtle embrace of goodness upon the universe. It is about some softness, lying flat on the elements. I love hearing her voice. It is soothing. Beautiful and soothing. Gentle. Please, talk. Don’t look at me. Please, just speak. I don’t know who you are, I don’t know. But just speak. You certainly are some sort of peace of mind. Quiet life. Good for you. But I just love the way you speak.
The truth […]
what hope is there for a kid that was molested and abused at 3, who let it happen again and again until 15 when they suddenly realised it was wrong? I’m 18 now and still don’t know what is normal. rape and abuse was standard for me, and the thought of someone treating me as an equal scares me, if they were to listen when I said no, how would I ever please them? there’s so little hope of finding happiness and acceptance now… maybe its not worth sticking around, maybe I’m too far gone to be normal.
What does someone so broken and unloved have as the purpose of life?
by hogpotter
written by hogpotter
Someone who has a loving family would live to make his/her family happy.
Someone who has love would live to protect them.
But what would be the purpose of life for someone who is broken, battered, unloved? Tell me, what is the purpose of me living?
I have only made two posts on this website, I have not received a lot comments in response, but the ones I did receive made me feel better. Not all of them were comforting or anything like that, some were just understanding and a sharing of pain and the same sense of being out of place. Every comment I have received on here has brought me comfort. I’m not a person who hears a lot of people positive things from people I know, or someone who has a lot of support or good people in their life. I just wanted to tell everyone on here […]
All my life I knew something was different about me… Maybe it was how self conscious I became when my parents couldn’t afford to have more than one or two outfits that fit me when I was little. Or maybe it was how hard my mom tried to make my brother and I happy, but my dad always tore her down.. Maybe it was my parents always being to busy to come to any of my school concerts and events? Maybe it was just me? All I know is that through it all, no matter who I have around me, trying to support me.. I […]
I have been told by many “you’re not alone, things will get better” and I’m not saying this isn’t true, but can someone tell me the steps they have taken to feel better? Because I’m oblivious to what I should be doing. I’m taking my meds, going to talk therapy, I’ve talked to whoever will listen, I’ve tried just thinking positive, but negativity is all that runs through my veins. I don’t mean that in the sense that I hate everything and everyone. I say it in the sense that I cannot see any good in myself or my life. I’ve always been like this. […]
Does anyone else go through the cycle of getting your life back on track and at that precise moment fucking it up all over again, then having to claw it back? I’m a middle aged person, somewhat successful in a career, yet never fully achieving my potential, really just getting by. I’ve suffered non specific, non diagnosable illness most of my adult life (ibs, cfs, etc) and have fought and fought and fought against them. On many occasions I have wanted out, and only came close once to attempting. I’ve done research and am confident I can do it if I have the resolve. Recently […]
“And he sat all that day, and he kept the egg warm. And he sat all that night through a terrible storm…” (Horton Hatches the Egg by Dr. Seuss) bahaha. It gets me every time. How many have worn his same expression? Have had life run us instead of us running it? Although in the end Horton is rewarded for his faithfulness and integrity, truth be told many of us come to find that “Job” (Job 1-22 the Bible) is simply cursed and the sufferments were for naught. I read about Dr. Phils “Evil 8s” and it dawned on me this is myraid depressed person’s […]
I don’t really know what to say or do anymore as I have given up on life and I am ready to die. Not to mention I believe in nothing so I don’t really care where I will go or what I will end up going through. I don’t think i have ever had a real friend in this life of mine or someone who actually cares about me. I have been used and hated along with being shit talked throughout my high school years and I have not seen a change yet as I am now in the 12th grade. Why should I bother […]
I really need a safe (free ) anger outlet that no1 will notice around me (parents /friends ) bcoz I have a LOT!! of built up anger that one day I’m afraid I won’t be able to control and I’ll direct towards the wrong person and it’s just not good so can someone help me ?
When you constantly think about suicide you start to recognize the signs of others who are thinking about it. You notice they mimic some of the things you do. When you’re thinking about self harm and you tug at your sleeves and close your eyes to try and stop thinking about letting blood come from your arms. Or when you play with your necklace trying not to think of it as a noose. You notice when others cringe and close their eyes. When they hold back their tears because no one really cares about what’s going on. We notice but we never really try to […]
I’m going try and fight this one more time – this time I’m not holding back and I will give it my all.
The thought of suicide is still appealing to me, of course it would be after years of a sickening pain that has now left me wondering who I am as a person and how my miserable soul could possibly fit into this world.
But after my last failed attempt I realised that I would not go out without a fight. This life has kicked me down and kept me in the dumps for as long as I can […]
does anyone need help with anything? or someone to talk to or just to be silly with. im here for anyone that wants to talk.
Every now and then i think i should just remove myself from the lives of everyone i could possibly influence. Sometimes i think of ending my life, other times I think of disappearing.
I think im here for the anonymity of this forum. I dont talk to anyone about how i feel because that is useless. If they dont have the same feelings then they cant understand and i imagine i would be even more of a burden then.
I also dont want anyone to call a shrink because im “suicidal”. That wouldnt help… at all. Im not the guy who sits in a quiet […]