Hello everyone!
I’ve been feeling down for a very long time and my life has been going downhill. My parents fight a lot and I’ve some problems with my friends at school + I’m obese which makes me feel bad whenever I decide to go out. My grades are also deteriorating. I need someone to talk to if you’re willing to hear me out here’s my kik hopefulmindset
have a nice day!
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someone
I need someone to talk to right now.
Employers can’t even f**king be honest about why they’re not hiring me. I’m definitely NOT “overqualified” to babysit someone’s child for two hours for just one day.
I was going to suicide for my 3thrd time 3days a go , but then I asked myself (why would I kill for someone who doesn’t care about me anymore ???). I know if I killed my self some people would cry and be sad but after that everyone would continue their lives normally. so I decided to continue my life and be the old me and the strong girl. now I need true love and I need someone to really love me as me ,not I should change my self for him . I am searching for true love I know I wont […]
I’ve heard somewhere that people with some form of disability usually end up having dysfunctional relationship. Not because their physical disability, though it’s a factor too, but because of their world view. they usually misconstrued “hanging out”as real romantic affection. this usually happens when there is a deep seeded inacceptance (if that’s a word) of themselves. And when someone lends a helping hand or acts sympathetic, they feel as though they have finally found a person that is better than them(only in the sense that the person is accepting), and so, worthy of their love.
what I’ve found about myself is that, because I am…highly […]
i’ve always been someone who needs to be someone to other people, you know? having lots of friends who depend on and trust me has been the thing that keeps me going and makes me appreciate myself and my life. i don’t know when exactly i ran out of energy to spend on other people. why did that happen? at some point i became insanely apathetic. i had no energy to try and take care of everyone anymore. i lost my purpose, my calling in life and people got mad at me for not caring enough. why did i become such a bad friend? now i’m […]
My life is more than fine, its actually great. I’m about to pay off all my student loans next year. I have a job that pays well with comprehensive benefits. My husband is amazing, and we grow closer every day. I have my own side business doing something I love. So, why can’t I seem to focus on the good?
Why am I so overcome by pain, sadness, emptiness, and fear that I can barely think about anything else besides the serenity of death? I just want to sleep, and sleep forever. I don’t want this life, and nothing in it seems worth waking up every morning for. […]
i was gonna do it weeks ago. but something, someone stopped me, canceled out the pain, but now, they’re all i can think about and if im not thinking about them im struck down by stomachaches to the point of nausea, of crying. i know i will never see them again. they dont even know my name. i want to do it, but im just so confused rn idk like i just dont know
This question has been really eating at me for many years now. I can remember myself way younger in 3rd grade asking myself the very question. I don’t talk about my thoughts or feelings to anyone, I have tried and been met with many different counter perspectives, but never one that actually saw what I see. I have had all the conversations already and know exactly how those around me feel, so I tend to keep my mouth shut as I don’t want to talk about it again and again.
But this morning I asked my dad what his purpose for living is. I’ve been thinking […]
I overdose on pills, get rushed to the emergency room, transmitted to the mental health unit, get diagnosed with major depression disorder, and get prescribed pills. Pills will be the death of me. I can’t comprehend why they would give pills to someone not emotionally or mentally stable. And lets not forget I just overdosed on pills. Are the doctors trying to kill me?
why is it that whenever someone says they care or that they love me, i break out into tears. its like its so hard for me to accept it and to believe it that when someone tells me they care about me; it makes me feel so good and sad and happy because i feel like ive never been cared for. im not even sure how to describe it. i hope you guys understand what im trying to say/how i feel.
In 2010, after over a decade of severe depression and several years of suicidal feelings, I made the decision to finally end things. To this day, it is the only time I have ever made concrete plans to take my life.
I kept a journal documenting my decision and feelings before and leading up to my planned suicide. Below are excerpts from two of those journal entries (the second being parts of a private message sent to someone from my past I had reconnected with. It was written as my end date was approaching).
Perhaps there are some people who will find comfort in reading these things […]
A family member and two celebrities killed themselves this year. We know Robin Williams, but another is a well-known innovator in the veterinarian world (Sophia Yin). I relate to Sophia the most.
People around me tell me that I’m amazing and can’t believe what I’m accomplishing; I’m such a good friend; I’m an amazing animal trainer. They confide in me that they are ultra depressed. One family member is in/out of a mental ward. My mother and father are now gone; my brother doesn’t keep in touch. I contacted someone who once loved me (I think?) but who always hurt me…I’m forgettable or ignorable or… Why […]
Suicide has been my main preoccupation for the past few months, primarily resulting from an intense burst of unbelievable drama. Let’s just say it had to do with an ex-boyfriend I love dearly and who was on the precipice of never talking to me again (because I broke up with him) which was this huge ticking time bomb floating above my head just counting down the seconds until it exploded. And explode it did. The explosion was catalyzed by a backstabbing by my sister where she not only stuck the knife in deep, but then twisted it, dumped salt into the blood-soaked wound, and then […]
How do you forgive someone who has hurt you? The guy who hurt me when I was little messed me up so bad. I have a hard time trusting adults, I have a hard time being in a relationship with a guy, if my boyfriend were to touch me a certain way, like he did, I would freak out and have to distance myself from him. And my boyfriend wouldn’t understand why I was acting the way I was. I want to be normal And when my boyfriend leans in to kiss me I won’t freak out. Or if he puts his arms around me […]
There probably isn’t any meaning in life. Perhaps you can find something interesting while you’re alive. Like how you found that flower. Like how I found you. – Orochimaru
This quote & someone on here once telling me to “be strong, have resolve”…those are the only two things keeping me here. Pathetic, I know.
I made one of these yesterday, and I thank everyone on here for being so supportive. But, it’s really gotten to me now, I have a suicide plan. I’m going to get a bottle of my heart medication and take it all. I’m probably going to do it before Christmas. I know I shouldn’t and that there is help out there for people like me. I guess I’m just not sure if I want help anymore. I mean, there is always going to be someone who hates me for being me, right? How am I supposed to know I will find someone else like me anyways? That I […]
I guess I’m writing this more for myself than anybody else…it just breaks my heart sometimes knowing that the one place you thought where you will be understood and not judged can also be infiltrated by people who cannot do the former and do the latter. I mean this place, our SP community, is a place to share our stories not just about having done it, attempted it and survived it but also having contemplated and/or contemplating it. Contemplating it meaning thinking about it…wondering why do we feel the need to end it? What is going on in our lives? Why must we hold on […]
I sit here on my own. Just waiting for someone to realize that I am an island. I wish someone would be brave enough to row out to sea, just to stumble upon me. But instead I sit here, alone and deserted. Minutes, days, months pass without human contact. Just me and my thoughts, swirling around like a hurricane. They batter my mind like wind against a wall, they tear me up by the roots and toss me around like I’m nothing. I guess I am nothing. If an island is never discovered, did it ever exist? I kind of doubt it.
But I will sit […]
I hate when my mom is drunk or when her stupid boyfriend is drunk. ALL THEY DO IS FIGHT. I’m so sick of it, its been going on for 5 years, the alcohol the drugs the pushing the hitting. I’m done. They add so much more stress to me. I already have issues without them. I’m tired of the fighting. I hate seeing my mom crying, I hate seeing her drunk. I hate it when all her an her boyfriend want to do is drink. I stick around because my baby brother is 3 and someone has to be there to take him to the […]