It’s not like I think everyone hates me although I have never been loved by anyone except the people that are obligated to do so. We can’t choose our family someone once told me. If we could…would I have been chosen at all? I know that my absence will be a momentary sadness. I have been alone for so long. Fading in between the lines of their book. Into the crowd, just a forgotten ghost. I don’t even know how to handle company outside of family. Before it perturbed me deeply. But now I prefer to be alone. It is safe, predictable even if the […]
Tag:
someone
I’ve always been an incredible writer. I was praised for my writing talents as a young child and still to this day. I am only 21, but I feel like I’ve lived forever. For some reason, writing (or typing) this is extremely hard right now. Maybe it’s because I’ve written a few suicide notes before and all it did was cause me to hurt others I care about rather than explain how I feel. I tend to think it’s a lack of understanding on their part, but my heart tells me it simply is me.
I guess this letter is to someone who I really, […]
I have a block deep in my mind.
Not as simple as to describe as a writers block or an artists block.
No.
This block is much different. It cannot be fixed by just walking away and coming back later.
My block is purely mental.
I cannot feel happiness.
Now let me make something clear. It’s not that I do not wat to feel happiness. It’s that I physically cannot.
It feels like I am empty. Like someone has ripped my heart and lungs out.
I am drowning in myself.
And I dont think there is any escape.
Someone save me.
This is my first post. My life has been full of setbacks and disappointments many by my own bad choices and many by terrible luck. I am possibly the biggest underachiever in the world. That’s why I couldn’t be happier when I met my beautiful wife learned that she wanted to be with me. 7 years later after watching her love turn cold after realizing that she was stuck with a loser she left (10 weeks ago). I am still holding out hope that we can save our marriage but that hope is fading. There are a few reasons to be hopeful but also many reasons that lead […]
Why is it that everytime I turn around someone’s telling me that I put myself in this place? I dug myself this hole and I’m keeping myself 10feet under.. If I could for one day feel “normal” (whatever society considers that) then I would be in a heart beat but I don’t ask to see think and feel the things I do. I don’t ask for the flashbacks or nightmares and I don’t ask for the emptiness.. But whatever maybe it’s something I deserve maybe and fuck being “normal”
Hello my name is Jeff black, the truth is people have the right to do what they want to and freedom comes at a price,
anyway well I have changed my mind on how I feel, it comes to my attenstion that’s life isn’t worth chucking away,
to be honist, things happen to people that make us wake up some times, to I still think people have the right end their end own exsitence if they want to yes, but that doesn’t mean that happiness is impossible to find,sometimes it can be found when we least expect it,
anyway good luck to people on this […]
I find this page this One day when I was in the point of suicide. I was wondering and I just get into the Internet to find a a swear like if someone else feel like I did and yes. So I need to tell someone everything I feel before I blow up and my story to know if someone feels like I do or have the same I do.
My name Nobody really cares but I’m a teenager and have had depression for almost five years, recently I discover i am bipolar I got bipolar disorder II plus eszquizo/affectivity depression. My family form my dad […]
Nobody seems to understand what I’m feeling, even if someone know what I’m fighting. I’m desperately searching for someone in which I can confide. I want to talk about my feelings ’cause they’re too heavy for only one person. I feel stupid when I try to talk with someone about all I’m thinking.
I feel like a fool. Sometimes insane.
I’m so afraid of everything. I don’t want to be alone in this, but it’s so complicated and I feel like it would never end. I want to finish this story, this black long chapter of my life. It’s me that I’m really fighting?
I want someone which […]
i always wonder how it was to have friend, how is it to have people that cares for you or that would actually give a shit if tomorrow they woke but you didn’t. how is it really, cause all i know is that I’ve always been alone all me life and never really had any affection from someone other then myself, lol funny cause even myself don’t like myself, so i never loved or felt loved, i always wonder how it felt, like does you really think of the person all the time, do you really do things for the good of that person, does […]
I want a mom, a mom who cares for me a mom who loves me, i just need support from her, caring and loving that’s all i want. Someone who can just sit around tell me how much there proud of me, someone who looks at me like i was worth something, someone who believes and me and that don’t trow me away like a piece of shit over school grades… Mom what did i ever did to you, i’m sorry i was born, i’m so sorry, i know you regrets it, you’ve told me so many times, i see it, i know it, Mom […]
Is the point of life eventually finding that sense of belonging, inevitably with a significant other? What if I don’t think I can find that comfort in anyone else? Am I destined to be alone, searching for something that doesn’t exist? I think the worst part of my best friend of 14 years telling me she never liked me and god knows what else, is I only found a sense of belonging with her and it was completely platonic. This world is so lonely, experiences don’t mean much if you don’t have anyone to share them with. I’m not big on relationships, I don’t really […]
I’m not really sure how to start this, honestly ten minutes ago I didn’t see myself writing anything at all. You search something on Google and end up on a website, just reading posts. As the title suggests this is just me rambling…reminiscing…ruminating…for a lack of a better word just babbling. Madman Joseph at your service.
Throughout my life I can’t really recall a specific time when I’ve been happy, I’m sure most of us can relate to that. Though more specifically I can’t remember when my happiness wasn’t a result of something someone had done for me. It’s almost as if my happiness depends on […]
Once upon a time, not too long ago. I reconnected with an old friend. With whom I have not spoken to in at least 5-7 years. Come to find out his wife, a woman that I loved and cared for. Had passed. About a year ago. We talked about his grief. Pain. Suffering. His addiction to drugs. We talked about mine. We got really close because of our late night discussions. It was raw. It was real. I let someone in. And then they commit suicide. Did it to me. Before I could do it to you. I don’t blame him for what he did. […]
For the past 6 years I have suffered from severe depression and social anxiety. There has never been a good time in my life. Before I even developed mental illnesses my Dad was an abusive asshole to my mother and sometimes to me and my siblings. I’ve never had a true friend, I click with no one and relate with no one. I’ve been in therapy for about 3 years now and it seems like nothing is getting better. I left school on the first day of last year because of how bad things were getting; I just couldn’t handle it any longer.
So basically all I’ve been […]
if someone pointed a gun to me and was going to shoot me, id take the gun and do it myself… nobody will get the satisfaction that they killed me except for me… theyve all caused me enough pain as it is. i wont let them finish what they started so maybe theyll have the feeling of being incomplete and empty wondering why it couldnt have ended their way… someone try and drown me… help me set myself free…
That sharp stab of betrayal. From someone you thought that knew how to differ from right and wrong and what was good and evil. Now you don’t know who to trust anymore. It’s painful. It hurts. Ouch.
So here I am again head filled with the how and when and other preparations for my death. Being someone who likes to do things right I was astonished to live through my first suicide attempt a few years back. I have chosen a different method this time. My plans are nearly finalised. I just can’t get past my 3 kids. I managed to say my goodbyes last time. This time I just cant imagine what will happen to them. I know they will be split up and go to their respective fathers but it is after that. How can I make them understand but […]
the people on here, this website, are true sufferers- they are drowning in poverty, surrounded by nothing but their own crushing thoughts and self-accusations. they have reason to scream and sob and choke on depression.
i am 16, popular, a brilliant student, a violin prodigy (slight hyperbole), an extrovert, horror movie addict. my parents are established- “dad” has a Ph.D, mom is a retail genius. we are upper-middle class, gorgeous home. i’m an only child so they shower money on me; where else will they dump their earnings?
the question to ask, then, is: am i allowed to be so sad? why should i have the right […]
I finally got my case pushed through to meeting someone. After waiting 40 minutes in the foyer he finally came out to meet me. Thanks for the promptness. Just proves how important I am to these people.
With the last 20 minutes of my session remaining the guy asked me all the same boring shit he should have got in the fax of my assessment. Oh wait. They didn’t fucking send it to him.
So now here we are, more than halfway through and with no past history on the table. What a great start. I was so mad at this point that I could barely answer […]
When that one feeling comes back, where you feel like your too worthless to be cared about but there has to be someone out there that can help cant there and there must be hope somewhere i just cant help but think that i am some useless amd worthless hore that needs to be killed or should of done suicide when i had the chance just sitting in my room crying and replaying in my head how shit my life has been no one round no one to look after me. How am i supposed to carry on when i feel like shit in the […]