My last post about executing the plan, was a failure. I know I haven’t got enough courage to do it on that day, simply because I thought I had something to live for, or someone to live. I still do, but the urge is just more each day and I couldn’t find a way to resist it instead to just do it once and for all. My current situation is pretty bad, I’ve lost my job, my parents hate me for not earning, and I’m just rotting at home, but they have no idea how broken I am for letting them down. My parents are […]
Tag:
someone
Today I have a loss again. Someone who I thought I loved and loved me back. Someone who I sacrificed for once upon a time. Someone who I fought for once upon a time. Someone who once upon a time gave me a reason to hold on. Someone who once made me feel warm. Someone for whose sake I picked up the pieces even though I was broken and left dead once.
But I don’t need anyone who doesn’t appreciate me, right? They don’t deserve me. And I myself don’t deserve to keep struggling stupidly for someone who doesn’t appreciate my efforts.
From now onwards I will […]
I’ve been miserable for as long as I can remember. I’m a fully-grown adult now and it’s followed me everywhere. My situation in life is a complete failure, socially and financially. Unemployed, birthday coming up and no prospects for anything. I am about to be evicted and have no plan whatsoever for the future. Everyone who knows me I am a burden on, and honestly I think the world would be better off without someone like me here. I’m worthless, so it wont matter if I’m not here anymore. I’ll be missed by a few, but they will be relieved when the nuisance that is […]
Is it possible to pay someone to create a noose for me?
I’ve never had much luck with love. It seems that every time I fall for someone, they can’t reciprocate my feelings. I had a girlfriend I really loved when I was younger, from the age of 12 to 13, but I became a phase to her and so she left me. After that I had a few relationships in middleschool and college but I was just settling for people I knew I didn’t love simply because I didn’t want to be alone. I’ve had a few people proclaim their love for me and it always makes me feel terrible when I don’t feel that way […]
Listening to my immortal right now by amy lee, it looks like my past has come back to haunt me, like death is silently calling me, someone is calling me in this wind, someone wants me, loves me, and i need to commit suicide to see that person. the years i have lived are nothing, im empty as my soul, i have nothing to live for, like.. my parents mean nothing to me, nobody means anything to me. do you understand how i feel ?
Honestly, was anything I ever said or did good enough? Am I just someone you knew now? Is it because I wasn’t going to coddle you and baby you whenever you had a boo boo? Grow the fuck up. I’m not your mother.
What do you have to do nowadays to get people to stay by your side? Nothing I suppose. Because no one will stay by your side. You reach out for help and people spit on your hand.
All my friends, all my trusted companions, gone now because I obviously wasn’t their ideal person to associate with. The trust circle I have contains 2 people. […]
So we suffer, some of us not so silently.
We self-medicate, I need a couple cocktails in the evening. I have a friend who likes “reefer” (it does nothing for me.)
We (you all out there) also use sex as a drug (some of you anyway) to lose yourself in for awhile. Sometimes 10 or 15 minutes, in my case an hour and a half… 🙂 but it helps for awhile anyway. And the planning, arranging when to meet, where, etc. takes some time away from our collective misery.
Now I’m sure many if not most of you out there have heard the usual BS from your mental […]
Why movie , game , novel , comics , book , anime/manga , human’s IMAGINATION is FAR much better than this boring Reality / real world / real life ??
by niki
written by niki
Why movies is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why video games is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why novels is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why comics is much better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
Why anime/manga is better & more interesting than this boring Reality / real world / real life ?
in conclusion :
Why human’s IMAGINATION is better & more interesting than this boring […]
If Love is the problem
You just need to find a new love
If Money is the problem
You just have to make more money
If Other people is the problem
You just have to find new people to hang out with
If past mistake is the problem
You just have to disregard it
If Sadness is the problem
You just need to be happy
So all these problems have alternative solution. It might not be easy but there are possiblity, however slim, to fix these situations.
There’re examples of people who find love again even at old age
There’re examples of people who have nothing […]
You know when I was depressed I always had this thought.
I always had this dream, this expectation, this thought.
That a person would come into my life and pick up my broken pieces.
That someone would help me off the ground and get me walking again.
Someone would wipe away my tears and dust me off and hold my hand.
That a human being would sit down with me and just hug me.
That someone would help me calm down and stop me from punching the wall and bruising myself.
Well guess what.
I’m fine now.
I am recovered and still recovering.
No one […]
I want to die but I can’t. I still have people that need me to make money, too many people that need me to live. I’m not selfish enough to leave them with nothing. I don’t want them to suffer and die with me. I just want to die alone. So I have to live for them but it’s only the hollow shell of a life I’ve never really lived.
I’m still very young. I know this. At the age of 21 I should not be this hateful, this cynical, this forlorn, this lonely. But I am. I suppose I’ve always been unhappy. I’ve always been […]
I hate living by the hospital. My apartment just happens to be in between two firehouses, as well. At the bottom of the hill sits the police station. I hate this location.
I thought I would enjoy it, being walking distance to work and the train line. I figured I’d be safer in this part of the community, so close to all emergency services. I assumed it would give me peace of mind. It’s an inevitable contradiction in my soul.
I hear sirens daily, hourly at times, for minutes on end. Where are they going? My roommates and coworkers go about their day, it’s unknown […]
Call it mercy, call it hope call it however you want to, but, i decided to become an organ donor before the end so the fact that i dont want this body nor this life can help others live and enjoy their lives to the best, also because of this resolution poison is no longer an alternative, just can’t seem to find the rigth way to get out, im collapsing, every second i crumble more and more, im traped in this barless pprision thats my body, i just cant get out, i want to sleep forever to never wake again, i must put an end […]
Hi, so this is my first post. I stumbled across this website when i was googling how to cope with this world that i hate so much, all the answers were bogus and I think that this website will maybe make me feel more alive? Basically I’m very sad with reason, i guess? I know that people have it so much worse than i do, but that doesn’t excuse the fact that i want to commit suicide or leave society, which would lead to me being picked up by a middle-aged psychedelic man looking to fume me with drugs.
I want to runaway, and i have […]
This world…….this life ….this day …people believe they Know pain….the truth is no one can describe pain…its not a word every individual can answer…. The word pain can only be described by you….you yourself can explain what it is you think pain is…teenagers believe that every problem is suicidal and what their going through is so bad it can only be cured by death……there friends may think they know what’s wrong and tell them stop its okay …they love u …stop hurting and talk to me….and for some that will change there feelings ….people who do accept the comments made by their friends just means […]
So I wrote a post, actually my first post on this site entitled “Wasted Life”. It was pretty much about the story of me and my ex-girlfriend and the effect its had on my life for the last twenty years. It was a story that I felt I needed to share with somebody…anybody to show the extent that one person can have on your life when you focus all your love on them and no one else. I received some good comments from others on there when I posted it, and today I received a few other comments, which surprised me since I didn’t think […]
I wonder how many of you on here actually went through with it, part of me doesn’t want to, the thought, the idea of just not existing, used to haunt me. But maybe it’s because part of me always knew I wasn’t supposed to exist in the first place. I was a mistake, and not just to my parents, but to the universe. I have nothing to offer except making other peoples lives as miserable as mine. Every time I’ve ever tried, at anything, I have failed. And those closest to me laugh about it. They laugh when I hurt, that has to mean something, […]
Sitting in my room in the dark. No one notices me. I’m alone. Why not just end this misery? Why not end the pain? Why not just make everyone happy and do it? They all want me to die anyways. Nothing matters anymore. Just death. Because Every time you go to sleep you die and someone else wakes up and takes your place. You are trapped in your own mind. You’re life is a lie. A figment of your imagination. There is nothing but death in this place we are forced to believe is real. For nothing is real but death. So why not?
For a long time I’ve been hanging by a thread. Only here to make my daughters life worth something. Tied here because her dad died of bronchial pneumonia whilst I was pregnant.
Now because I cannot even put food on the table for her, I am having to look for someone who is capable of doing so.
I will be so calm, happy and relieved, at the same time scared, worried and sick that my daughter will have to endure this life with someone she doesn’t know and without both of her parents.
I tried to get a job, none pay anymore. Job centre has […]