Tag:

stand

Wishes

by Cro0kedYoung 10/4/2015

written by Cro0kedYoung

I’m losing everyone. The two friends I thought would stand by me throughout everything, I’m losing them. I guess its good in some ways, because when the time nears for me to end it all I wont have to push them away and they wont have to hurt at all. They’ll be rid of me for good soon enough. I just hope they have good lives without me.

I’m afraid that when the time comes Ill back out, Ill think of someone, something, a ‘what if’. But I know my life will turn to shit whether I end it or not. I don’t want to have […]

10/4/2015 2 comments

In the hospital

by BluDude976 9/23/2015

written by BluDude976

Even though my relatives have known for years that I have Major Depression they still behave in abusive ways. Yesterday I was stressed and feeling extreme anxiety. My mother came home yesterday from work screaming and throwing a tantrum. I have to live with her for now because I have a heart condition. I was so upset I was shaking. Later I felt really sick and couldn’t breathe. I thought I might be having a heart attack. She just stood there in the kitchen staring at me like she was waiting for me to die. I had to call 911 myself. It turns out I […]

9/23/2015 2 comments

Be…

by lacethefox 9/20/2015

written by lacethefox

Be like the river and flow

Be like the mountain and stand tall

Be like the grass gentle and soft

Be like the wind fierce and fearless

Be like this and be who you are and never question it.

Those who tell you otherwise have no room to judge

You are strong, kind, and beautiful like nature.

Never forget that about yourself

And remember no matter who you are and thou I may not ever know you…

I think the world is a wonderful place because you are here.

9/20/2015 0 comment

5 days after my release….hindsight

by wndozh8er 9/15/2015

written by wndozh8er

I thought the therapy was great at the time while I was in the psyche ward. Problem is, what really helped was the “friends” I thought I made. I have severe attachment issues and can’t stand to be alone and rejection brings out my PTSD. If they was going to do therapy, it should have been some sort of 1 on 1 thing. Now I feel this huge empty void again but without the suicidal thoughts. Because nobody returned my calls and deleted my friends request on Facebook, my self confidence is one again in a graveyard. I’d be right where I was if I […]

9/15/2015 13 comments

Am I just being immature?

by chelle428 9/13/2015

written by chelle428

Recently I started working in a call center, I have worked there for two weeks. As someone who is severely depressed and has been suicidal for a long time, I just can’t handle it. I repeat the exact same thing on the phone for 10 hours a day. I have worked plenty before and it wasn’t my favorite thing to do but I could handle it. This job is just so mindless and depressing and repetitive that I can’t stand to be there anymore. When I’m there all I think of is killing myself and how much I hate it and mind-numblingly awful it is. […]

9/13/2015 15 comments

Monster under the bed

by Supposed.to.be.happy 9/13/2015

written by Supposed.to.be.happy

I’m different now, my heart beats for no one no emotion… I feel nothing but the annoyance of this world… I couldn’t die I was found with over two months of meds in my stomach they pumped them out… After a week they let me go of course I’m watched but… No one knows… The me that was hurt… The me that was weak, bullied, destroyed every way possible… Has returned the hunter… I don’t want my life for me… I want to take back what millions have lost… Millions commit suicide every year… I will take back the lives we lose… I don’t care […]

9/13/2015 7 comments

The Last are the Most Beautiful

by Black_Heart2001 9/12/2015

written by Black_Heart2001

I’ve left my fears behind. Now I’m purely fuelled my anger and sadness. I was never good enough for anyone, and that was okay with me because I didn’t need to be.No, correction. I was never good enough for YOU. You stupid, terrible parents that pushed me to my breaking point and every time I built something for myself, you would knock it down and then ask me why I couldn’t build anything. I didn’t want this life. Everything I did I did for you. Straight As. 4.5 GPA. Getting into one of the top schools in the world. Student council president. Swim team. Band. […]

9/12/2015 0 comment

stand

by asunayuki1 9/9/2015

written by asunayuki1

I stand alone in a world filled with nothing but hate.
i stand alone with my tears falling to the floor.

All i want is for someone to hear my cries and to go to a place filled with nothing but warmth this is my only wish.

I know I am nothing more then an empty hollow shell my soul is gone my heart is numb and I am invisible to the world.

I stand alone crying in a quiet place hopeing some one hears me.

I want to live but I am tired of fighting this world on my own.

I known that if I kill myself I […]

9/9/2015 5 comments

I have to die. Fast.

by hogpotter 9/8/2015

written by hogpotter

And that night, I turned my face towards the wall and cried. For the first time in my life I hated Shone. Hated him for blinding me, for tricking me into foolishly believing that life is a beautiful field of roses… that love is a wondrous bond. Hated myself for the choices I’ve made. Hated for being born. Hated my body for functioning normally. Hated everyone around me. Hatred surged through my veins, hot and angry, pulsing with every breath I take.

I want to die. I have to die. I will not stand another day, another night. I will not enter the hellhole in […]

9/8/2015 3 comments

Mental illness as an adjective

by unwantedchild 9/3/2015

written by unwantedchild

My friends found out I was depressed but haven’t done anything about it and barely even acknowledge it. I absolutely can not stand when they used the word depressed or bipolar to describe how they are feeling when they will never feel what it’s like to have a mental illness as horrible as depression. Here I am they’re best friend suffering in silence and they just laugh at the word I can’t stand it

9/3/2015 7 comments

#SuckMyFuckLife

by MaybeImAlreadyGone 9/2/2015

written by MaybeImAlreadyGone

okay, so my last post was really positive! But this one isn’t going to be!

ever just have one of them days where even being in someone’s company annoys you but you can’t stand to be alone?

I chose to eat a lot this morning, I used to comfort eat a lot! but then my head just went. So made it all come back out, I made myself sick until I felt weak. Until my belly burned.

Then I went into my room and self harmed. I was doing so fucking well but today I lost it! Worst part is I didn’t even cry! I felt no emotion […]

9/2/2015 2 comments

I just can’t take it anymore

by wndozh8er 9/1/2015

written by wndozh8er

i have been wanting to die for a decade. When I first came on here, I was really looking at 6 months to a year to live, enough for a “peaceful death”. Now that everything crashed around me on top of the crap I already been going though, I can’t stand another moment on this BBBofBS. The depression and PTSD is so bad that it hurts.

Thanks to my basement, I got a nice little workshop going on. Building two unique things that should make me pass out faster.

when I go to the doctor this week I’m gonna ask for sleeping pills “because I been having […]

9/1/2015 9 comments

My Weekly Whine

by thehusk 8/28/2015

written by thehusk

Round and round it goes in my head. Can’t kill myself. Can’t do that to my family. I owe them everything, and it would destroy them.

But can’t go on living with this overwhelming sadness. Can’t keep going through the motions. Can’t keep pretending I have a life. Can’t stand this longing anymore. Can’t go on being alone, but can never feel any real connection with anyone. Can’t keep hating myself, but can’t be anything better, no mattter how hard I try. Can’t keep fighting a battle I’m never going to win. Can’t bear to be the one who everyone pities anymore, a worthless loser. Can’t […]

8/28/2015 3 comments

Random why questions pt 2….the even better one!

by wndozh8er 8/25/2015

written by wndozh8er

Why do Many people think that everything that is said over the Internet is true and buy into scams and rumors without investigating further?

Why did “human rights advocates” get there panties in a wad when a fully veiled Muslim woman had to remove her religious attire in order to get her drivers license? If someone wants to stand up for people who are really getting there rights stomped on – than stand up for people’s rights to get quality health care, a living wage, the right to choose, etc.

Why did “civil rights advocates” get there panties in a wad when American Jihadist Anwar Al Awlaki, who […]

8/25/2015 15 comments

I don’t know what to do

by Chelseamx 8/23/2015

written by Chelseamx

I can’t stand it anymore. I can’t live like this, with my depression. I don’t think I was meant to be happy. How am I supposed to keep going?? What’s the point. I hate everything. What am I supposed to do with my life? Seriously.

8/23/2015 0 comment

When Depression Can’t Be Cured

by amar 8/23/2015

written by amar

I grew up with a father who has never been happy, has always been depressed and we as kids were always trying to find out ways to make him happy. Nothing ever did. And that hurt us as kids not knowing that it was not us making him unhappy, that that was just her state of being and there was nothing that we could do to bring him out of that funk. Eventually I know that is what killed him, you can’t live and thrive with that kind of sadness and depression in your life all of the time. There is no one who could […]

8/23/2015 1 comment

I do not deserve food as she has suffered

by bluu 8/9/2015

written by bluu

Everyone tells me that I had no choice, and that it wasn’t my fault. They said I did a lot more than what most would do. But I don’t feel that way, because I took her there. I am fully responsible for her death. I am to blame. It was my fault. I was supposed to take care of her, but instead, I sent her away. She died because of me.

It was horrible and heartbreaking why they decided to put her down. It shattered me.

I was going back for her, I couldn’t stand it that she was there. I was waiting for […]

8/9/2015 1 comment

I can’t stand another second

by disgusting 8/7/2015

written by disgusting

It’s getting close to that. I should have killed myself already. The guy I love wants every woman in the world and all I want is him. And he might take off to go far out west where he said his dad’s been telling him to go live because the laws are the most lenient on people in his situation. He said it just got worse here making it more impossible for him to have a place to live. I do agree it’s rediculous. But it kills me. I can’t even touch him or hold him. I can’t live without him. He’s everything to me. […]

8/7/2015 4 comments

Advice on becoming financially independent?

by teana 8/2/2015

written by teana

I’m 23 years old and I have one year of college left. I am getting a double major in two major arts fields that probably won’t get me a job. I have absolutely no money and am completely dependent on my parents; living at home right now while I take classes. I can’t stand being dependent on them and constantly feeling like I “owe” them. They still try to control me in many ways. It didn’t bother me until this summer but now it’s really getting on me…I feel like I am suffocating. I am already depressed and the fact that I don’t even own […]

8/2/2015 2 comments

fire in my chest n fukk philanthropy

by kills 7/29/2015

written by kills

fukk me you beautiful ***** — my darkness

i hate the organization im working for. i hate giving away my money to these fuckin organizations that cant be trusted. why i would i want to do that and get other people to do it. these organizations swindle so many people out of cash and there are so many looking for hand outs. its fucking annoying. its so true like we should take care of our […]

7/29/2015 3 comments

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