we are all humans we all make mistakes and learn from them ,but sometimes our big mistakes can lead us to depression . sometimes there are some mistakes that you can’t fix them and when you think about it you feel guilty and you start to hate your self!!!. but you can never fix a mistake by a bigger mistake (you can never fix your mistake by suicide).sometimes you really enjoy your time while making a mistake and you feel proud but we don’t know that this feeling will change and will regret it . and whenever we remember our mistake we start crying or […]
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I should probably start this post out by admitting to one thing- I am not suicidal. I am not suicidal but I am looking for help and to understand. My best friend and life partner is looking to kill himself and he has been wanting to talk about it with me, more and more, lately. These conversations end with him yelling because I don’t understand this very big part of him and me crying because the idea is just to painful for me to take in- being without my best friend. His habits of self-inflicted injury are becoming daily and I am at a loss […]
I am really nothing…
hi my name is **** *****. i am 1?-years old… hehe i don’t know how to start telling my life, but I’m not really good at English… I writing this because I think it will make me feel better… umm… I grew up in small city. When I was 3-8 years old, I have painful days and happy days of course. my parents were drunk, fighting, every Friday, Saturday, it was never changed 5-years, always drinking, fighting. me and my big brother and my lil sister, crying in room, our word never changed our parents, we always tell them to stop […]
Lets do it. Lets start a trust fund. We all sell some pf our things then put it in a trust and agree to all meet someplace and use the tust money to pay the fair for who ever wants to come. Then we buy a bomb and just hold hands and sing a prayer or a hymn or something and just wait for it to us all up. Don’t you see that this is your chance!? Stop procastinating! We can do this together don’t you see! we can help each other. We’re all in the same boat so lets just punch a hole in […]
I don’t know where to start. If I could choose this story would be a lot longer. I want to tell you a part of my suicide story.
Please, I know that when you are young you have your whole life ahead of you. But it doesn’t apply on me because I dont feel my age. Though my physical body is 17. So just bare with me.
Last year I started in a new school at the age of 16. I started there completly alone, with no one I knew. We where well prepaired for 3 years of studying by the teachers who made sure that everyone […]
I have a wonderful boyfriend, a great job, friends who do care and yet here I am on a Friday night on this website. To the point – i am struggling with coping with everything. A lot has happened recently. Both my parents have been unwell recently. My dad suffered from a heart attack and my mum had a really bad infection. They were both admitted into the hospital and it was only me on my way. My dad was in another ward and my mum was in the other so I had to frequent back and forth to make sure each were ok. It […]
I hate when my mom is drunk or when her stupid boyfriend is drunk. ALL THEY DO IS FIGHT. I’m so sick of it, its been going on for 5 years, the alcohol the drugs the pushing the hitting. I’m done. They add so much more stress to me. I already have issues without them. I’m tired of the fighting. I hate seeing my mom crying, I hate seeing her drunk. I hate it when all her an her boyfriend want to do is drink. I stick around because my baby brother is 3 and someone has to be there to take him to the […]
Things haven’t been going well at all…
I just float through life, trying to hold on to something.. seemingly anything there is to try and hold on to. I don’t want to be alone..alone in my life, in how I feel, in how I think and in how I see things from my perspective. I’m not done with this life yet, I don’t want to die like this..
From my wife leaving me, and never even sending so much as a hello via….? Nothing! ..to the sudden realization of mental illness….to constantly losing my job..never being good enough..to being right out used and brutally attacked…and the permanent […]
Where do I start?? I’ve been depressed for as long as I can remember. No really as far back as I can recall I have never really been happy. I guess I could clue you in on all the bs that has led me here. But really it’s a story you’ve heard before. Maybe not all from the same person but pieced together from multiple people like some sort of f@$#!d up jigsaw puzzle. I’m obviously thinking about death (particularly mine). Otherwise I wouldn’t be here. I don’t have any friends. There is really only one person (in the flesh) who is here for me. […]
When I get up from being down I always try to get a new start. Make myself different like a new man. I try to get a new start to erase my mistakes. The next day everyone sees me, notices me. This kills me since I just want people to forget me. Remembering me is remembering my failures. So now instead of a new me people see a new failure to be made. How can I hold my head up high when every can see my flaws? A reason I would hate to die is because before I’m forgotten everyone would bring up the worst […]
It’s been a while since I have been here 1 year. I deleted my other posts to start fresh.
I tried to be happy until up about a month ago. I tried to be positive. I ended up right back where I started and I don’t want to relapse. But it’s so hard. I feel worthless. Sometimes I think to myself is life worth living? But then again I’m just sad and I need to stop. But I can’t. These thoughts over run my mind. I just don’t know anymore.
Common question I have been asking myself. Life is ironic . Those who wants to live dies. Those who doesn’t stays on.
Perhaps this is what discontentment is. Yup you can say I am discontented. The honest truth is that I do not see my purpose of life anymore
I am going to start my Final Year project soon. I am worried that I will pull my teammates grades down. I am worried he will end up doing all the work.
I don’t know what drove me to start this project with him. I guess I have misjudged my capabilities again. I […]
Dear she who will not be named
I never asked you to be a part of my life. You shouldn’t have ever said hello or looked my way. That day on the subway when for some reason or another you asked me to watch your shit while you paid, you should have just thanked me and been on your way. There was no reason to start a conversation, to ask me about my day or any of it. You were just a stranger and it’s funny that after everything that happened that’s all you are once more. A stranger. Somebody that I thought I knew, that I thought […]
Thinking about the past is one of the worst things one can do, once you are alone you start thinking about every problem and struggle you have gone through. Thinking about a situation you want to completely forget about but it will always be there no matter how much time goes by.
And it hurts, it hurts so much.
Because no one ever thinks that that situation was going to ever happen but it did and there is nothing one can really do about it.
I finally got my case pushed through to meeting someone. After waiting 40 minutes in the foyer he finally came out to meet me. Thanks for the promptness. Just proves how important I am to these people.
With the last 20 minutes of my session remaining the guy asked me all the same boring shit he should have got in the fax of my assessment. Oh wait. They didn’t fucking send it to him.
So now here we are, more than halfway through and with no past history on the table. What a great start. I was so mad at this point that I could barely answer […]
We fall, me, atomically
The way of Labyrinth
I fall, drown, upside-down
Everlast to evermore, abyss
I am here but I don’t know who you are
The only counting the flower, the truth
The gold, the gold, the gold, black-heart
Double-H-Etch, I need the light and shady
I don’t need to, magnetic-rock, wizard
Take me to the wood, celestial
Shower in cold beer
Chained, albatross-protector
Aquarius
Fish
Black
White-Skull
2014 A.D.
Rotting-death
Magus
Sacred-Clown
Elephant-death
Will I ever breathe
Undead
Fuck. I don’t have a drop of spit left in me. I knew when I lost my job a month ago that I would need more energy to turn things around but I am sinking fast. I decided to forget about pounding the pavement for another I.T. job and start looking for freelance recording and voice-over gigs. This I can do from home and I have all the hardware I need and I have the chops to do it.
The problem is I still need to get organized, refresh my skills and dig everything out of the closet to get set up. But I am just […]
Hello everyone, I guess I will start this off by introducing myself. My name is Adam. I guess I should start at the beginning. Growing up, I was a pretty lonely kid. I was the typical black sheep and outcast. I remember one time when I first started school. Every kid in the class had to choose a partner to play with, and of course I was the only one left without one. Anyway, it didn’t really bother me then. When I turned 8, my mother and father split up. My mother had custody. She was more interested in girlfriends than men. Long story short, […]
i’ve always felt abnormal .Now i am 18,and i still do. I think i have bipolar disoder,body dismorfic disorder and depression.thats not a good way to “start” my adult life.even though i am miserable inside,my parents an twin brother dont suspect about it.I’m pretty sure it is beacause i try my best to look normal.well,i am fucking tired to pretend all the time.I am fucked up!I know that i should just tell them what i feel,but i cant do it.So i feel trapted in my onw head.Suffering alone.
Welcome to The Game,where where is no quitting, no giving up. Once you start, there’s no turning back.
The number of participants can vary.
In this game, you are required to guess, to predict, the best way to help someone. The thrill lies in trying out different methods, seeing if it can work for that someone or not.
And with it comes frustration and annoyance, because nothing seems to be working and the sense of uselessness comes to you, first creeping up behind your back and then engulfing you.
Must…not…give…up…