One faucet, two hands
Ten fingers-
sinful digits scrubbed with soap.
Each protruding knuckle rubbed raw
thrice, until the thoughts still
(still, they do not)
I drown my palms-
dirty and defiant
in the freezing stream
(numb your skin;
numb your mind).
When I am finished
I count to nine
and start again.
I didn’t really know were else to come but here so…
I always feel sore somewhere, my hands have had problems for years, my back often gets sore as well as my feet when standing of walking for a long time. My knees can start to hurt too and sometimes my joints feel so uncomfortable, not in a hurting way though, just a weak way. Lately I have also been getting sore hips, or they just feel really weak.
I’m 15 year’s old and I’m quite athletic, I’m pretty sure I eat healthy (Healthy enough) and I am quite fit compared to most other people my age […]
26th of January
They said suicide is the coward’s way out.It is the one big solution to a temporary problem.But what if the problem is permanent,will suicide be an available solution?Today I’m starting my countdown,a countdown where it will all start and at the same time end.Nobody can stop me because even I cannot stop myself.So love me,care for me,stay with me,because the last days of my life will soon be a tragic end.
I hope everyone is enjoying there evening a little song from seven lions especially the start of the drop at 2:16 the vibe I get from the drop keeps me happy hope it does same for you all.
Ffs… Just heard from my ex, the train wreck, that he had some gf for the last two years. After talking to me again like we’re oh so close friends??? I don’t know why it bothers me. He’s the one I call a dead fish. No passion or romance. And I never hear from the guy I truly loved. I bet I’ll never see him again. I don’t fit in to his world. I want to say more, but feel it would be too wrong. Just something else that makes me sick and pissed off. What the fuck happened to this world? I don’t look […]
I am no longer myself. I remember how I used to be before seven years of depression. I used to be the most optimistic individual, but life has a way of fucking you over.
For starters, after years of hearing people say negative things about you, you start to believe. I am an eighteen year old mistake. My life was a replacement. My father was abusive and caused my mother to have a miscarriage. Their intention was to replace that baby boy, so I was born.
Throughout my years, I have heard this story so much. Eventually as my father extruded himself from our family domicile, I […]
Do you know what’s the worst thing about suicide?
It isn’t making the decision.
It isn’t buying the things you need.
It isn’t writing those letters to your loved ones.
It isn’t booking the hotel room, so your loves ones doesn’t find your body making it worse.
It’s not even the preparation: putting everything on the table, so you have everything in one place and you just need to sit down and start. Oh no.
The worst thing is when you plan everything, you do everything and 36 hours later you f_cking wake up looking like shit, pale, and you have to go home and pretend like nothing happened.
It’s not the […]
I really don’t know where to start. I guess I’ll start by saying I’m transgender…and please no comments about your thoughts on transgenderism.
I’ve been through so much in my life and have so much to be thankful for, but lately I have this deeply engrained feeling like I’ll always be alone and nobody will ever understand me. Some days it’s just all too much and I’ve been desperate for relief.
I guess I’m here because I don’t feel like I have anyone I can tell this to without them wanting to admit me to some psych ward
The thought of my mom finding out about my depression scares me. Why? Why does it scare me so much? I’m not sure.
This post is similar to my last one but I have to let it out anyway. I woke at around 4 PM today. My friends had planned to come pick me up at around 12PM so we would go spend time together before we all return to college. So when my alarm woke me up at 10 AM today, I texted them saying that I was so sick I couldn’t even get out of bed. That was true, I felt so tired.
It’s ironic how […]
Sorry im not jonny cash but yeah i hurt myself. I couldnt get out of my head and couldnt stop crying. Its the only thing that helps other then taking something, and there arent any of those around so. Next best thing right. Is it bad that im saying this. Im sorry i didnt mean to cause any trouble its just talking helps after too, but im alone at the moment. I think its because part of me feels bad because this is the only thing that is keeping me “ok” untill i start feeling bad again. At the sametime im kind of […]
I think I should start getting what I need to be ready, I envy people who can have an attempt without needing to any preparation. If I could I would do an attempt quickly.
the thing that sucks most about it is that what I need would take long to get to me
The curtain rises once again as the group enters the inside of a spaceship.
HDS: Killer clown, zombies, now, it’s a spaceship… I’m sensing a theme here.
Suddenly, robotic claws and aliens reveal themselves from the shadows.
Nicole: Those guns the aliens are holding look weird… They look like cucumbers attached to a toy gun.
Zetsumei: If the flyer I read was accurate, I don’t suggest anyone get caught. At that, Zetsumei takes out several switchblade knives he stole from the graveyard area.
Zetsumei claps his hands once before getting into a running position then says, “Ready…Set…Go!” Zetsumei and the others start running through the aliens and claws. Zetsumei avoids […]
Hi. I found this website a few days ago, and I decided to post my story. When I was 16, my parents took me to a psyc for the first time because I was having minor anxiety and attention issues. 1 year later, the side effects had me depressed as hell. I was 18 when I tried to slit my wrists. I failed, obviously. 3 years later I started cutting. If I’m lucky enough to get anyone here before they start, don’t start!!! I was 22 when I tried to overdose on psyc meds. Now, I’m trying to stop cutting but failing. I want to […]
The curtain rises and the group enters the second area; the graveyard…
Nicole: It’s spooky, you can see graves with our names on it, too. The full moon is pretty, though.
HDS: It’s so cold, though. I can even see my breath!
Rocketman: The last one was a circus-themed maze so what is this one?
Zetsumei picks up a light gun shaped like a revolver and a katana then says, “This looks like a shooting area. Everyone pick your weapons.”
The others pick various bladed weapons and firearms. Although, Rocketman picks up a light gun shaped like a rocket launcher…
Zetsumei: Really?
Rocketman: What? It looks cool. Besides, you’re one to talk […]
Life right now has officially hit a boiling point that’s too hot; I’m melting away. My focus throughout the days now are shot, I’m more robotic in movement and speech than ever before. Just today at work I couldn’t talk to anyone, it just felt too heavy on my throat to speak (I’m more introverted). Then what would I gain talking about insignificant topics like, “So and so’s wedding went wrong,” or, “Real Housewives…” Sorry, I’m being bias but that stuff doesn’t interest me.
And then just today I fucked up on the biggest thing: I have no idea where I want to live anymore. […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I used to be a member here.
I have a very bad habbit. I get attached so easily. I was on this site before. May be a month before or may be a year before or may be 5 years before (which I am not gonna tell). I shared alot. But eventually I have to stop. Because I felt really bad because I got closed to few people on this site. Whenever I post something, everyone replied. They felt bad because of me. So I aslo felt bad because I made them felt bad.
I’m too complicated person. I’m mentally not healthy. My condition is getting […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
I realized last night in the blitz of all the chaos of the party that I will never be happy . My god I am the most depressed person on this planet .
I wanted to kill my self last night . I drove home even though I was a little drunk but I’m a perfect driver . I wanted to drive off the road and crash into something . But I couldn’t do it . And I went home to lay in bed .
I wish I had done it .
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