So, to make this simple, i fucking hate myself. I am not (and will never be) content with who i am. Nothing is actually wrong with me, i would just thoroughly enjoy killing myself. I am only posting this to relieve myself of hatred, or at least attempt to. I don’t care for sympathy. I do not want help. Nothing will ever stop these thoughts, no matter what anyone tells you. I have more friends in my head than i do in real life, simply because we share the same interests; death. The absolute ONE reason i am still alive is my boyfriend. I don’t […]
stop
ive lost them all pushed away all of the friends i had left
the shit thing is i couldnt stop it
i had only two choices fuck over my friends or attempt to pay for something with money i dont have
ive told them i dont want to do this and ive tried to put it off for as long as possible
they say they understand but theyre not paying
they dont realise they have less choice in this than i do
That little voice is telling me to kill myself.
That little voice is telling me to push everyone away.
That little voice is telling me I have no worth living.
That little voice is telling me to stop eating.
That little voice is telling me I’m useless.
That little voice is telling me I am a jerk for pushing everyone away.
That little voice is telling me to die.
That little voice is me.
… reading about all those people killing (or wanting to) themself makes me everyday sadder… why? why are you doing it? is it possible that there is no way to avoid it? I’m sure there is a way. I don’t even know who those people are… I don’t even know if they really did it… I don’t even know why… but I feel the weight of others decisions on myself… why? Maybe it is because I would save everyone… maybe because I think that it is a waste, a complete waste of hopes and dreams… or maybe because since that day, when I had the […]
They all look at me
Are they even seeing me or are they seeing what is left.
If I say no will it make a difference
No matter how many times I told him no he wouldn’t stop
Even though he hurt me I still love him
I shouldn’t
He’s my my brother.
Tell that black-honey buzzard to stop talking to me
Please, I can’t take it anymore, it’s telling me there’s relief on the kitchen counter in the wood block
It’s sitting next to me laughing its head off. Stop it, it’s dripping honey all over my striped arms
Please kill it, someone
I hate to be a pest but I’m going to have to extent my unrequited love story to reflect on the loss of losing something you worked so hard for. Friendship is a very transitional thing. My experience with friendship is that it’s organic and eventually just dies. People either move away or they stop associating with you – you just become a lost memory or something to be ignored. I say this because recently I became the something to be ignored – something to be looked through and not at. The jokes are no longer shared – the tears are only seen by you. […]
i am more then a year very suicidal,im just suffer,empty.
i have a good life,hobbies,good friends ,im not rich but i can get want i want,good grades in school (high school) and have a weekly routine.
i read all the advice and nothing works for me (except a psychologist that i havent tried).
i promised to my girlfriend to not do it but it feels impossible, i start to realy lose myeslf.
what to do?
sory for my shitty english grammer .
So my friends boyfriend is telling me that I’m fucking up their relationship. I don’t know how and he won’t tell me how. I don’t want him to break up with her and he’s making it seem like he’s going to because of me.. Should I just stop talking to her so I don’t cause problems..?
I want somebody to be with. I don’t deserve it. Right now it feels like I have no chance with anyone. But that doesn’t stop me wanting it.
I’ve completely fucked up my life, beyond repair. But that doesn’t stop me obsessing over what could have been.
I signed up to an online dating site, more from desperation than anything. The matchmaking system threw up a woman who seems ideal – warm, nice-looking, geeky, down to earth, clever, quirky. I keep looking at her profile, re-reading her answers to questions, wanting to message her. But what would I say?
‘Hi, you seem like just the kind of woman […]
i feel like such a whiner saying that, but still can’t stop feeling that way.
Hi guys. Today’s been a rough day. I don’t know what’s going on with me. I’m almost one-year self harm free, but today I almost lost. I was at my choir concert, and I was sad, I’ve been struggling with my depression for a week. But after our performance it was like all my energy was gone and before I even knew what was happening I had my hair clip out of my hair and right against my arm. I almost did it. I don’t know why. I was able to stop myself. But I just wondered if you guys had any theories about why […]
I don’t want to be alive anymore.. I can’t stand feeling like I mean nothing to anyone, can’t bear the weight of meaning nothing to myself.. I can’t stop thinking about what it will feel like to be dead.. I don’t think anyone would miss me..
I have a boyfriend, but he makes me feel so insignificant, so inadequate.. I know he loves me, but I feel so worthless, and it’s only a matter of time until he sees that too.. And he leaves me too.. Dear reader, I love him, and he doesn’t say or do anything to make me feel that way, but he’s […]
I don’t want to live in this world. You have to fake who you truly are inside to survive here…All we have left is what lives in our mind.
Unfortunately, our society places a high value on holding ourselves together and being strong.
You have to be competitive, better than the others, ready to adapt,… otherwise you’re dead to the world. If you have nothing to offer, you will get nothing… If you don’t fit society’s mold, you’ll drown. They tell us we’re crazy but i think, if someone is crazy here, it’s this hypocritical world.
People don’t seem to see that: some live like […]
I am technically dead. I have stopped believing in myself. The thing I learnt about business analytics is that history repeats itself.
I am really exhausted and very tired of failing. I failed everything- my exams, my relationships, my flexibility and my friends. What am I doing here anyway? That is the question I have asked for many years ?
The next failure I will encounter is the exams which I am about to take. That is CISSP. Knowing me, I will try the second attempt which is probably going to fail again. I am sick and tired of […]
I’m so sad. I can’t help but let it all spill out. why am I so depressed? why can’t I stop being sad? why can’t it just leave and never return? why can’t i crack a real smile? why can’t people stop talking about me and my life and the mistakes I’ve made and move on? why can’t I be left alone. why can’t I stop crying. please help
Don’t know why but today I feel like writing my story. So I will. Pardon the Grammar.
No human story is ever single dimensional. there are always multiple reasons that prompt your action and that action causes multiple effects. Whenever I have new mood or new type of person in front of me (that is, in my psyche), I see my life from a different angle. I personally like the curiosity angle and have most respect for spirituality angle. Social angle is the most ugly. I might at times mix them with one another, because ultimately they are one and the same.
(I like to recall things according […]
I wanted to keep trying and i wanted to live, but i literally can’t anymore. Im just a hollow shell of whoever i used to be. I thought that maybe i could be somebody, but i should have known better. Im nothing but a failure. I just want to be able to finally reach happiness i guess.
I don’t know how long I can even go on now. Everything anyone says just hurts to hear and I just want to be able to be strong, but I’m pretty sure thats just an unrealistic dream.
Everyone around me expects so much and they just say ‘Be happy!’ and […]
I am 20, almost 21. I have attempted suicide 7 times in my life, from the time I was 7 on. I don’t like human instinct, my body seems to find the right way to stop me from dying or someone that I love shows up and stops. I am supposed to be a business owner for a company my boyfriend wanted to start, but everything is in my name and whenever something he does goes wrong he blames me and lashes out verbally at me. I have tried a bag and belt over my head, sleeping pills, antidepressants, anti anxiety. . . but it […]
This is me tonight. The guy I like went back to his ex. I was going to ask him to my friends party on valentines day. Guess I don’t have to now. I’ve been up since 4am crying my eyes out and it actually caused me to throw up. How great-.- It’s like I seriously can’t stop crying. I don know why. I mean I knew he was going to go back to her. It’s just I haven’t tried this hard for a guy in a while. It sucks.