at the psyche ward I went to, I actually gave humanity one more shot. What a fucking idiot I was. Couldn’t I see from past experiences what was going to happened? All these “friends” rejected me in Facebook and never returned my calls. To think I could have friends. Fuck them! last night I ripped up there phone numbers and decided to put myself back into self imposed isolation. Humanity is a god damn sham, a lie. For some people women and friends fall into there laps, me asking for a relationship or friendship is like asking a homeless man to break into a jewrey […]
Tag:
store
im not even supposed to be alive right now. i had planned to kill myself almost two weeks ago now and i dont know why i cant pile up the courage to just do it. everyday i wake up and dying is the only thing i can think about but when it comes to it, its like my body wont let me. and then i wake up the next morning feeling even shittier than the last and i really just cant take this anymore. it feels like the universe wont even let me to but my heart is in physical pain. i was going to […]
I recently started working temporarily at this store where they set “goals” for each employee as to how many garment bags they sell and how many new customers they can get signed up for the store’s rewards program. It’s all a load of crap if you ask me.
These don’t even deserve to be called “goals” because 1. I could name about 1000 things that are more worthwhile, 2. you get no kind of reward if you actually reach this goal, and 3. it’s entirely up to the customer, not you.
The best you can do is ask if they want the bag, ask if they want to […]
my aunt drove me to the store and only let me get 2 6 packs of cooers liight and two 24 bounces of cooers. This is an evoltuion from last week when I only,got to get two cooers lights. Here is the kicker, I. Offered 22 dollars, mower dude to give me 24 ounces of natural ice.he delicered’!!’!!!’!! Give me liberty or give me death
I LOVE Poppy seeds so I bought 25 pounds with the last of my amazon store credit. It’s just orgasmic. Everybody should try it. 😉 Question who thinks I’m really fucked up?
What need have I to fear–so soon to die? Let me work on, not watch and wait in dread: What will it matter, when that I am dead That they bore hate or love that near me lie? ‘Tis but a lifetime, and the end is nigh At best or worst. Let me lift up my head And firmly, as with inner courage, tread Mine own appointed way on mandates high. Pain could but bring from all its evil store, The close of pain: hate’s venom could but kill; Repulse, defeat, desertion, could no more, Let me have lived my life, not cowered until The […]
dear fellow readers
I am trying to find some pills that will help me fall asleep to death. However, I do not know what sleeping pills are strong and how many i should take in order for me not to wake up? Do you have any suggestions what kind of pills I can take. I want to take some pills that i can easily buy from the store without a prescription, however I am willing to buy pills over the counter. Just need to tell me how i can convince my doctor to prescribe them for me.
yours truly,
danylost
Man can life be depressing or what? Sometimes I sit here and wonder how the fuck I managed to let myself live this long. I honestly don’t know why I continue moving forward when there is nothing better in store for my future. I feel like I’m on auto pilot or something because I just keep going. I don’t wanna say I’m numb because I do feel things. It’s just when I get disappointed or sad I instantly shake it off and I feel like it’s irrelevant. I haven’t gone out because I was trying to finish paying tuition which I haven’t been able to […]
Do you ever think your happy but a repulsive assholes points out your flaws? That happens to me all the time, but look at it this way. You’re a barbie from an outlet store a few bumps and scratches, anyone who doesn’t appreciate You is a snobby asshole. They keep saying they want the real thing, but they’re ignorance has blinded them from the fact that barbie is plastic after all. If you trust me, put “I’m an outlet barbie” in your bio and use the tag #outletbarbie in your pics and I will follow you we can be IG buddies if you want??
dear people, well after a really bad week, decided to give up and surrender to the whitecoats.in going to my appointment, please know that i carry all the shame and guilt that comes with this decision. all those studies and tests i was part of didnt do shit. cant wait to see what is in store for me now. they mean well, but dont know and cannot understand what we go through. i came to this website looking for meathods. i stayed because what i found here hurts my heart worse than the depression. so many people. so many people. i was surprised. really, i […]
Right now my life feels like I’m window shopping. I look in the glass with my family in it and I feel alone. I see my sister my mom and dad all having a great time, going out to dinners, shopping, football games. And I’m standing at the window usually high, drunk, or sleeping. I walk past the window of my school and I see other students striving with their plans, about to graduate. As for me I’m staring through the window considering dropping out, I can’t even wake up in the morning to get myself to school. I look in the window of my […]
So… My grandmother(current guardian) took me shopping today. Nothing out of the ordinary for a Sunday. We started arguing, also very typical. She said the friend I’ve just recently started hanging out with, Sarah, would leave me when she found out I cut and I’ve been hospitalized for it. I let her know that her and her parents both know. I’ve had in-depth conversations with her mom about it, because she’s been hospitalized as well, for depression. But then my grandma said that everyone that I hang around cuts themselves, and that I’m the reason they do it. As she was going into the dollar […]
I consider my depression a terminal illness. Some of us battling this illness, we know we will terminate our lives one day. We are basically just waiting to die, because we can’t be saved. The darkness inside will always be there, waiting to resurface . It won’t let us be normal. It won’t let us be happy. It’s like we are slaves to this darkness. We basically sign our lives away by taking all the medication, because once you’re on antidepressants, you can’t stop taking them or else you’ll really be fucked in the […]
TL;DR
I did something stupid today
How is it, that we just can’t help doing things, we know, we will regret after, be it little or big things.
Even things from the past, that we should learn from, we always manage to do again, despite knowing we will end up regretting it badly.
Not a big thing, not like other mistakes that have been made, but still.
I went to the store today, don’t know why, didn’t really need it, knew it would be a problem, still did it.
First 50 yards wasn’t bad, then as I got near, and the people started to appear, I could […]
I honestly have nothing to fill all the hours of each day with. Unfortunately you can’t sleep 24 hours a day, I am actually jealous of coma patients some times. Its ridiculous to say that with all the millions of distractions that are so easily available. Yet its the truth, millions of books, video games, albums, movies, tv series etc available at the click of a mouse thanks to the internet. Plus all the social media and everything else the internet offers message boards chat rooms online classes. Well and of course all the fun things you could do out in the real world. Yet most […]
A couple days ago. I haven’t cut in a couple months. I’ve going to most likely do it again. I want. Things I can’t have, things I can’t live without. I chose a long sleeve shirt for my job for a reason, I have to just hide it. I think about locking the store, drinking the night away, and just cutting myself till I bleed out in the store. I hope people try and rob me with a gun, so I can ‘do something stupid’ and get myself shot. I’m a coward, I can’t do it myself. I wish I dead. Or just. No I […]
Every night, I am presented with a truth and every night I only ever speak in it’s truth. The earth trembles, harder. I won’t be going back to the weed store again. When I mean now, I need not to say it again. I’m going on a vacation, by September. My declaration of all. Godspeed.
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I went shopping today & caught myself going through the winter clothing sale racks, thinking to buy for next winter. Whats the point? The universe has only 4 months left to brighten up my life before I’m done.
It is amazing how many times I could have stolen from shops. You see, I have to use a walking stick if I’m going anywhere. And I always wear a small backpack. Whenever you exit a store, the person at the front is supposed to stop you to check your bag if its larger than say a small clutch-purse. Not one og the stores I went in & […]
I only know what day of the week it is because it says it on my iPad. I’ve sat in the same chair all day long for the last couple weeks, only moving to use the bathroom, shower, or sleep. My only forays out into the world consist of the five minutes to the corner store for smokes. No one calls. No one wonders what I’m up to. No one cares if I’m still alive. I come on SP to find people who identify with me, but in truth, I find I don’t identify. I feel like I just post random comments that no one […]
I havent drank in a while because it usually ends up very badly for me but tonight, im really needing to just zone out. As I was pulling into my driveway coming back from the liquor store, I saw a wallet in the street. It had a decent amount of cash, some gift cards etc. I could have taken it all and just tossed the wallet in the garbage but, knowing it was the right thing to do, I took it over to the guys house and gave it to him. He was very grateful as most people would be but, unlike how I used […]