nearly whole of my life has been shit. Last two years it got even worse now im struggling. Ive tried so many time to leave but it never worked this year should be the one happy new year too all
Tag:
struggling
At age 34, I’ve dealt with the darkness many times over, faced the abyss, waking up to the desire to no longer be here, but pushing through anyways, retaining a sliver of hope for better days, however long it may be to see them again.
Becoming crippled in my prime, on crutches for 7 months, knee braces for another year and 1/2, struggling to finish college while majority of my peers go about their days oblivious to the able bodied gifts they’d take for granted..The physical pain meaningless in comparison to the psychological, will I ever get better? Is this the new reality? I never got […]
I honestly don’t know. I feel like I’m losing my friends all over. I try to help a few friends struggling with school and stuff but I still feel worthless. It’s worse when they make fun of me for trying to help. “This isn’t you” blah blah
I even told them it’s because you don’t really know me and they just give me this look like I’m crazy. I absolutely hate it when they compare me to someone bad. My mom isn’t the greatest mom and she’s never home. The other day a so called friend said I’ll end up just like her […]
Not sure if anyone has kept up with any of my posts. But back in October a very close relative I live with almost died, she stopped breathing. I had to perform CPR to try and keep her with me till paramedics arrived. She had a very slow and painful recovery and was released from the hospital a few weeks after. I made sure she took all necessary medications and constantly checked on her and made sure she was eating well. I took her out every sunday since then to have brunch at different places that she hasn’t been to. Because I figure some type […]
There are only a handful of things keeping me from doing it, and they’re all people. My wife, whom I don’t want to leave to pick up my shit. My little brother, who will be so confused. My parents, who will be ravaged. My employees, who will not understand.
But the reasons not to are starting to be outweighed by the feeling that I need to do it.
I feel like the moments where I think about doing it are the only moments of clarity in my life and that everything else is fake.
I think that the fact that I don’t want to do it, but feel […]
I’m struggling to find a reason to stay. What is the point of my life?
I’m now at rock bottom and admit defeat!
My friend thinks I have post natal depression on top of bi polar and anxiety.
i can’t look after my babies properly, I’m exhausted from them both being up all night. I’m home alone all day with them, with 4 kids my house is a mess, dishes need washing, laundry need sorting but I can’t leave the babies as one climbs lots and the other screams. I’m lonely as my friends have older children and are studying or working, I fail as a mum , I’m really struggling and just don’t want to be here! Seriously what kinda mum […]
It’s been 7 weeks today since I woke up from my failed attempt. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression most my life. Since going to college it has gotten worse. This past semester, I was kick out of my suite because my roommates didn’t feel safe with me, because I got high twice. Of course having anxiety, I didn’t cope well with the change. I lost my best friend, I was struggling a lot and I just wanted to end it all. I took some pills, but I ended up waking up really sick. It was horrible. Things haven’t really gotten better. Everyday is hard […]
Ever since I graduated college last year, the meaning in my life has decreased. I’m at a low that I’ve never experienced before. When I was in high school, it was all about teenage angst and being heartbroken from unrequited love. In college I was preoccupied with struggling to get by and remnants of my teenage angst. Now that I’m over my teenage angst and I can see clearer, suddenly life has become so meaningless and so boring. Nothing impresses me. Nothing excites me. I suppose this is called depression? But I have no real reason to be depressed. Sure, I still don’t have a […]
I’m twenty-year-old female. I live alone and I’m in my 2nd year of college. I’m struggling with depression since I was 12. My mum had depression and I think she passed it on to me. All I think about everyday is how I can kill myself; I spend hours thinking how and I don’t have answers. I don’t have a “bad” life, I mean I have everything, but I’m still not happy. Last year I messed it up. I don’t know how I fell in love with my best friend’s dad, and I tried everything to stop it, but I couldn’t. When his family found […]
From the bottom of my heart, I see a man I wanna be but couldn’t be.
by Rotted_Flesh
written by Rotted_Flesh
You want me to be the best that I could be
When you never showed me the very best that you could be.
From the bottom of my heart,
I see a man I wanna be but couldn’t be.
You are nothing like me.
I know you’re watching me watch you fail.
I can see the look in your eyes, you’re getting pale.
Please lose your blues or know that I don’t give a fuck, I could live without you.
Please lose your blues.
Time and time again I wanted to tell you I love you,
I forgive you, but I can’t hold you.
Oh god what […]
I thought I was slightly improving but I am struggling right now.
I fucking can’t do this anymore.
I HATE living with my partners parents. No, this isn’t me being a spoilt child this is me hating being 25 after 7 years of living on my own to having a controlling mother in law telling me what to do.
I’m not just saying I hate the parenting. It’s that nothing is ever right. To the point where I can do the pots, but if something is an inch out of place I will never hear the end of it 🙁
I can’t even explain how bad it is.
The majority of posts on here seem like a cry for help, if I’m being honest with myself I’m just here to vent.
I don’t plan on committing suicide tonight, but one day soon I will. I’ve been depressed for 8 years which is a third of my life and all of my adult life.
I’ll never understand why some people are challenged in life more than others, why some people can live long happy lives while others suffer every waking moment.
I’ll willingly admit there are people out there who have it far worse than I do, but I am at a constant struggle to find a real […]
Am i worth it???
Am i worth this pathetic life?
People see me laughing and smiling but inside i’m dying. How can my life be so complicated??How do i go on?? Do i even try?? I just honestly am struggling with the pain i feel inside.
I wish I was alone. To have nothing to hold on to. To no longer have a reason to exist. It would be so easy then. To just let the grip my hands have been struggling to hold go. To feel the world’s darkness eat me as a whole. They think it’s a phase, that it’s just something I’ve been going through, that I’ll get over it after a short period of time. They don’t understand. They think I’m doing this to myself for things that don’t matter to them. But they never thought that maybe they’re the reason why I’m struggling to live. Why […]
After having spent the last 20 or so years struggling to figure myself out, I feel as though I have a crystal clear understanding of myself. I guess you could say that I spent these past 20 years looking into my abyss. I found myself there.
People always say that suicide is not the answer. But what if it genuinely is? The human mind can only take so much and I feel as though I’ve lived through an eternity already and I’m 34. I struggled through a very isolated childhood as I’ve posted before and seen horrors that no child should […]
Life feels like this. When you were born it was like someone pushed you into the water. Maybe it would end up good, and you would enjoy the swim. Some might struggle to float or wouldn’t like being in the water. And for some other like me, there’s a hand pushing me down under the water, desperately wanting me to drown, but life went on and on without end, the hand keeps pushing down, and here I am just struggling to survive. But we all know, death will win in the end. Why not end it sooner?
I guess I’m just feeling alone and discouraged. I live with my friends and they are all at university, getting there lives together, and then there is me. The people I live with, their parents pay for everything for them, their rent, food, shopping. I have to pay for everything for myself. I may sound like I’m complaining but its very hard to watch your friends get things handed to them when you are struggling. Sometimes I wish I was born into a very rich family with parents who are never around or don’t really care for me. I don’t know what would be worse, […]
ive been referred to four different organisations for mental health over the last 5 years. none of which have worked. only had one session with my new NHS woman but I haven’t much hope. I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and all they seem to care about is the anxiety. that’s the least of my worries. ive been suicidal before, and I still have suicidal tendencies which I am struggling to supress. I need help but they don’t seem to want to get to the issues that are deeply effecting me. is there anywhere that works (UK based) or any methods (currently on […]
Message me. I know a lot of you are struggling. You’re allowed to feel how you feel. If ever need a listening ear, I’m here.