Hear I am. Stuck in the same fucking place. Repeating the same fucking task. Doing the same thing over and over again just so that I can blend in with the rest of the world and maybe just maybe I can be happy some day. I don’t know if I will ever be happy. I’m to fat, To stupid, and to emotionally in stable to do anything right. I’m diegnosed Ana and chronicly depressed. I just hate. Living, who made suicide wrong, aren’t we all jusrpt engineering ways to make like suck slightly less, why do we all choose to live in a world that […]
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stuck
I’ve always had two insurmountable fears. First is the fear of drowning, and second is the fear of being buried alive. When I was a kid I was deathly afraid of dying in a falling elevator but I outgrew that for some reason. Lately though I have been feeling like I have been buried alive. Trapped in a dark, silent coffin in a concrete burial vault beneath six feet of cold, hard dirt. I can kick, I can scream until my tonsils bleed (oh wait, I don’t have any tonsils), I can pound and scratch until my fingers are bloodied and all that I can […]
I just, today I took a sip of something poisoned but I’ll hold on tight. I’m coming down hard and my joints are all stuck.
Helplessness is such a cruel thing… I feel my lowest when I feel helpless. But it wasn’t always like this. I was happy, I was in control, I had strength but when I get stuck in this helplessness hole I crumble. But I know theres a way out but I don’t have the right idea to inspire myself out of this. I need to make my mind positive but it’s hard. My friend saved me once in a moment of pure unjudgemental love but this time feels different. There is something I yearn for in my heart. It really depresses me that I’m not as […]
I’m 22 years old and have a year left in college…I don’t really have any close friends and had a tough break up recently. I cry a lot because I’m depressed and lonely I guess and have thoughts that I’m awful and unworthy all the time and a feeling that there’s nothing I can do to change it. I try to be passionate about my artwork but have begun to question whether that has any meaning or value whatsoever. I used to get enjoyment from that but for some reason I’ve been stuck thinking that it’s wrong to be passionate about something that doesn’t involve […]
People assume that when you are depressed, you are just sad. But in reality, you just feel empty. Like nothing really matters, because at the time, nothing does. You are just stuck in a haze. Your heart is beating and alive but your soul isn’t and sometimes, you don’t know what to do about. Pain comes before depression, and there still is some left during it. THAT is depression.
26 years working for the same company…boss half my age, 21 year old daughter sick in a wheelchair all her life, me and wife are 24/7 caregivers. I dont want to anymore. nothing is fun nothing is worthit. Cant even get disab insurance to believe Im not well so i wasted 3 weeks off no pay and will probably be stuck going back to work in a few days. fuck it. 26 ativan in a bottle in the bathroom. Only reserve i have is that its not enough. I dont want to end up on a machine. Never though I was a bad person but […]
Empty
Fading
Nothing
Now comes the warm pleasant burn
Drips become trickles
Trickles become waterfalls
Waterfalls become floods
Temporary relief, instant shame
What have I done
I’ve done it again
Always a disappointment
A Bitter sweet sin
Why is this the world I’m stuck in
Daily hell
Nothing but an empty shell
Drown the sorrows
Down another glass
Few more pills, maybe it’ll pass
Completely numb I lay awake
Praying for my soul to take
So this feeling is so, not painfull, not happy, no wanting 2 die, yet cant live…iv gotten on my feet the best i could only to get knocked down multiple times id like 2 drink, or do some h. Smoke myself to bliss. Its not drugs that is doin this 2 me thats just how i cope. Searching for a god who speaks through a book i try very hard 2 understand. Cant give up, but cant go passed this. Was i born like this? Did u do this to me?…….tried so hard but did i try the right way. Nah i couldnt have. Is […]
Yet again I’m stuck in a shit hole.. Another sleepless night.. Trapped in hell.. All I do is try and try to find answers I know will never appear.. I search and search and dig so deep with nothing but more tears to weep… What’s the point in going on when all you feel you had is gone?… You’ve failed at all you attempted, you never finished anything… There is really no way to become more of a fucking disappointment. I’m sorry that I embarrass you.. I’m sorry you’re ashamed when I’m around.. I’m sorry I have never and will never accomplish anything significant.. I’m […]
The deep voice within my mind is stuck on repeat. “Let me out” “get me out of here” as I sit here alone with the thoughts of my head and brain exploding. Leaving me (my mind) to be set free from this head, this body
I’ve dealt with a lot of trauma and terror in my life, and there was only one thing that kept me remotely sane… A love for one person.
I grew up with very limited options and fewer trusting individuals. Everything I was taught in the educational system were lies, especially on moral standards. Even my family disowned me the moment I was raped…
But one person stuck around when I needed them most… and then they decided I wasn’t good enough to be with them…
They lied to me, leading me on making me believe that there was ever a chance between us, only to find he never […]
Hi again all. I apologize to those of you whom I did not reply to on my last post. All of your input was extremely helpful and I am so happy ive joined this site.
Anywho, I want to inquire about the following-
Does anyone else want to leave their body? I feel so over whelmed in this body. I want my consciousness/energy to be released. I want to be everywhere or anywhere at any given time, yet I’m stuck in this vessel of a body. I feel as if if I left this body I’d be so much happier and free. I don’t want to have […]
Its this self hatred and not being able to move on that is killing me. I seriously need to learn how to forget about things and just move on.
To enable the act of someone taking their own life…is simply the most beautyful act a person can have…it is something truly personal….and I would myself die…just to enable this right to all people…
Truly….
If this society is to go further into the modern age…it most have such qualities…as the right to take ones own life…
If this right is not come to a society that claims to be modern…then it is simply not truly a high nor evolved nor modern society…..
It is a society stuck in the old superstitious ages…where one belives in punishment for such…that truly is the worst crime ever….
Truly….
A FREE SOCIETY ALLOWS SUICIDE…AND […]
Five days I’ve lived since commiting to die, since calling a national hotline, my first time ever. Stuck in the rural South, My dogs and the North wind keep watch with me, watchers for the morning. I wrapmy knee in ice. It’s disintigrating from a 980’s Surgery…the sutures, tiny lengths o fibrous black, rose through my skin to the surface. And now the ligaments are tearing away. My surgeon died decades ago. My SI Joints’ ligaments stretched in an industrial accident, permit the whole set of bones to wrench away from each other. Favoring the right knee makes it worse. I think I may have […]
I’m very sick today. I spent all night last night vomiting, and now I’ve just been stuck in bed all day. So my fiance comes home and decides it’s a good time to fight because I told him something he did towards another female bothered me. He degraded me like crazy, telling me I’m retarded, I’m boring, and that he wants me to disappear and kill myself. All of this after fighting yesterday with my mother and sisters because I asked here politely to take an embarrassing picture of me off of her facebook page. Expressing my opinions and feelings shouldn’t end in a fight […]
It was all so fucking perfect, so foolproof. Nothing could go wrong, I was ready to go, I needed to go. Everything was in place no one would know. Then smack bang out of the blue the night I decided to die was the night another (elderly) family member died. I mean there was no way I could do it people would be calling now there would be no privacy no time. How could this happen? And now I’m stuck here in my own hell with no way out because now I have to wait. How much longer do I have to suffer, is it […]
I’ve started visiting this site a bit too often.It means to me that my life is going from bad to worse. This is definitely not a good sign.I don’t know how my life happened to end up this way. The sole cause is me myself. I cannot appreciate a single thing around me. I cannot appreciate a little good whatsoever my parents do for me or the words of wisdom people pass down on me.I have one or two friends who actually care for me.I’m young so maybe I’m yet to see some good things coming on my way. But, no. I cannot see the […]
Can’t sleep
Can’t sleep
Can’t sleep
Can’t sleep
So many Fucking thoughts about stupid fucking bull shit that I shouldn’t even give a fuck about but I do because that’s me and I’m a fucking idiot and I do whatever the fuck my mind tells me because I don’t know how to fucking tell it no… NO!!NO!!NO!!
Why does nothing ever fucking work out?!?! Why is everyone so fucked over in life?! Why do the ass holes and dick fucks get away with everything and the nice people get stuck with the shitty end of the fucking stick!!!! Omg!!!! Fucking shoot me I’m so tired […]