Hi my name is Kim and I am 15. You’re probably going to think I’m just another overly dramatic high school girl. Im not I have been through more shit than people should have to go through by the time they are 15. My dad died when I was 11 but my suffering started earlier in life. My dad drank a lot and when he did he would physically abuse me but when I turned 9 he didn’t drink as often but I’m left with mental scarring and get scared if someone raises a hand near me. He got leukemia when I was 10 and […]
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Stuff
Well I’ve become friends again with a girl i went to high school with, not sure if I’ve mentioned it before… But anyway every weekend for the past 2 months we go out clubbing and everything but she doesn’t invite me out on Wednesdays or Thursdays which are the most social days of the week here… I don’t want to ask to go because like that’s just asking to be around people who don’t or might not want you around you know?
Uhhh I don’t know what to do at all, I over think things to much and create problems that don’t need to be […]
I was home schooled till i was 12, and my father left my mom when i was 8 (i used to see him weekends, then holidays, now i rarely see or talk to him). which is what i can only assume caused me to be so fucked up. once i got to highschool, my first semester i got expelled for threatening a kid with a knife for picking on me. which caused me to lose my only close friend.. after switching schools i was a loner for the most part, i had a group of friends i hung out with, but i was that one […]
From what ive read here, my life is the best life on earth, but it isnt.
When i was 5 my parents sent to a special school, for smart children. Every year i begged them to get me out of it, but they didnt. I was a smart kid, one of the best in my class, but i never really fit in to it, they all wanted to study, since we were 5, and become doctors, scientists and so, i never did, i always wanted to perform, to dance, but my dad always laughed at me and my mom joined him so my confidence got really […]
Warning: rant from top of my head. Might randomly skip to from topic to topic.
When I was in eight grade, I thought I knew what long lasting pain and depression were. I had grown up in a “broken” home, I was bullied, I had been cheated on and my brother nearly died from a suicide attempt. I can remember sitting next to his bed and even after I found out he was going to survive, I kept thinking things couldn’t get worse than that. Since then (3 or so years ago), I have been in a abusive relationship, cheated on again lost a friend who […]
Everybody is sad
But no body cries.
everybody is down.
but all they do is lie.
everybody laughs smiles and hugs
but nobody loves.
everybody giggles
everybody is shyÂ
but deep down everybody
is breaking down and crying.
everybody sleeps and goes off into there dreams
but no body sees the kids who cry themselves to sleep.
Dreams are your utopia! The place you wanna stay
but when you wake up you wish your life away.
Going to school a hard thing to do,Â
especially with friends who don’t care what you do.
You’ve told them your down but they don’t care
they just sit there and stare at you blankly because
what your going through, they don’t understand.
Its hard to live
but its […]
Suicide thoughts creeping in again and again.
They wont escape from my dark mind. I fucking hate this eating disoder.
I hate it, it’s taking over my life and I keep denying it. I know it’s true.
Wake up and the first thought is:should I eat? No you fucking pig you shouldn’t
I isolate from everyone and everything. I
I wouldn’t have to live with this stuff if I just died. Shit, If i had drugs I’d shoot them up…
Hi everyone.. I’m new here and i really need to get some stuff off of my chest. Apparently, i’ve been dealing with nothing but family problems. Mostly it’s between me and my mom and I’m tired of it. All the time she yells at me. Mainly, she just verbally abuses me; always she’ll throw my stuff on my bedroom floor and tells me to pick up. Like really? She’s the one who dropped it so why should i? And when i don’t do something right she’ll yell and call me stupid names: idiot, *****, ************, useless child, and so on. My dad thinks that it’s […]
Yes life can be difficult, I won’t deny that. We do go through our good times and bad times. Ive had depression for 2 years and still trying to heal from it. I used to cut myself, which eventually made me feel worse. I never really had friends that I could talk to, so basically I thought that I was complettely alone. Then I realized that i’m not, because I have people at my church that I can talk to and God. Oh btw i’m 15 and my name is Deana. For the people suffering from depression try to look at all the positive stuff […]
i’m done in this house.. i’m done in my life… i’m done feeling this hurt.. i’m done living… i’m sorry to everyone.. i’m sorry im giving up… i’m sorry im leaving stuff behind… i’m sorry i’m giving in to these dark thoughts.. i love you cassidy… goodnight and goodbye … <3 xoxo
i want to be saved.. but idk if it even matters to try…
There have been several good episodes in my life, but as I look back I realize that the good ones would last just for a little while and the worst ones go on for years or will be there for the rest of my life.
A little more than 8 years ago I had a terrible car crash – I should be grateful about having survived with almost no injuries, but sometimes I wish I had died instantly instead because even prior to that I was a lonely freak and later on everything just got worse and worse.
So then I went to university and slipped deeper […]
Yesterday…I told myself, im going to be nice, im going to be a better person, and not mean. Well im not really mean. I just want to be a better person. I tried it today. i tried to better myself. But it didnt work. i tried to be nicer to everyone…but, once again, i’ve been hurt. Once again someone called me a man; well not nessarily. he called me a boy really, and everyone who heard laughed. Once again, i’ve been told i have a deep voice and sound like man. it’s like 10th grade all over again. i dont know how long i can […]
And nobody cares. 3-4 days ago i got into a car accident in front my school. I was hurt, and the only people who seemed like they really cared was…my mom and my teacher. I mean I know im not dead or anything, but it kind of hurts….because, well, months ago my friend got into a car crash also. People messaged her on facebook…..Like literally everyone was on her wall post saying stuff, i messaged her asking if she wanted me to visit her, everything. Everyone was worried. but me? no. Somebody LAUGHED at the fact that i got into the accident. He laughed. I […]
I got really annoyed today in school. In my first lesson I got called out by the counsellor, I was confused because I sorted it out all before. ( I told her I would stop cutting and she believed me) So anyway she comes and tells me someone has told her i’ve been cutting again. I was like WTF because I havn’t cut since before.  So we had a massive chat about stuff and then she says if I get called out again she would have to tell parents. And this is supposed to be confidential WTF.
When I eventually got back to class I told my friend that someone had told […]
Me I will tell you in all honesty that I have serious anger problems and I am saddened  by it. I have always tried to keep my anger on the inside cause
I believe it would hurt more if I display it on the outside. Â I lately though have discovered that my anger has more control over me then I do. It’s
scary for me to type that but it’s true. I have only had one girlfriend and as of today I am stopping with any form of communication with her. I broke up with her because she wanted to choose between me and her ex who […]
I don’t know anymore what I want to do, what I want do be, how to be good. I’m 20, close to 21 and I am just so full of problems. Social inadept, habitual liar (to others and myself), a huge range of food allergies, a bad a student that failing all his classes, and top it all of a plain retarded asshat with problems with his sexuality. I really fucking hate myself these days, for one I’m failing all my classes and I can’t myself to anything about it, when I sit down to do the work my mind goes blank and I can’t […]
I had an appointment to see my  psychiatrist and my mum was with me, im 15 and my psychiatrist asked my mum about our family history and after some stuff they talked, i don’t know i wasn’t concerntrating but i heard my name and i started to listen, im sitting beside my mum. and my mum said when i was 5 years old i caused her so much stress she took me to a bridge and she was going to throw me off the bridge and kill me because i cause her alot of stress and she couldn’t handle me…. but my dad saw what was […]
Get Lost [[[please read this, don’t pass it up, I only joined this site so I can share stuff with others, DUH :P]]
by lvhnky702
written by lvhnky702
You try and try again
But the pages keep filling themselves in
How ever much you want to change
Things will never be the same
And the pages keep filling themselves in
There’s no room to stop
With no choice but to get lost
Lost in the pages you help create
This is a book written in pen, you cannot erase
This is life and you’re only given time
Time to waste
And skip a few things
Miss a few words, misunderstand a few scenes
Get lost within the stories we all make
It’s just a big reality we all face
We’re forced to get to the end, but it’s not a race
Since the beginning, you get more pages each […]
I’m closing up shop. I tried to get back what I had, but the doctors told me I can’t. So I’m going back on olanzapine. Back to being a fat piece of crap who can barely string a coherent sentence together. I came off it because I thought it had done it’s job at stabilising my depression. Now I have psychosis. I had hoped that by coming off it I’d lose the weight and become attractive again, thereby getting a girlfriend, but I guess not wanting to be alone or a virgin anymore after 23 years doesn’t cut the mustard.
I’m not sure why I […]
Okay…This has been going on for a while now..My best friend has issues, I can tell but she wont let me in to help her, she knows all about my problems and is always there when I need her but now I wish she would let me in so I can help her. Whenever I ask her if she’s okay she says ‘yea’ but I know she’s lying to me, I really don’t understand…She knows I’ve went through similar stuff to her. And when I ask her again if she’s okay she turns away and walks off… I feel like she’s pushing me away for […]