So, my problem may seem stupid to everyone, but its something that has been bothering me for a long time. My best friend… I guess former best friend and I have always fought since about a year after I met him (which was 4 years ago). We had a ton in common back then, and have changed since then and are pretty different now. However, we have always remained great friends minus the fighting all the time. Which, I may say, a lot of the fighting has been my fault as much as his. But, a few weeks ago, it got really bad. He started […]
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Stupid
About 2 years ago then I would think about the possibility of commiting suicide it was something like this- if I ever feel bad enough to actually want this then instead of committing suicide I would run away and try to have a better life because if you’re planning on ending your life anyway then why not try to start it over instead? And if you fail and somebody finds you then you can always just go back to your original plan and do it. Now then I think about suicide I usually just ask myself if I’m very to do it, if I already […]
Its been about a month from when i got out of the hosptil. I was doing so good. I was handling my stress wonderfully. Then sunddenly i asked my best guy frined if he liked a girl and if he kissed her or had sex with her that night. it was a joke. But he turned on me.. And yelled i tryed to appolgize but nothing will ever be the same. I know sit on the floor of my ice cold room asking for God to just kill me. Just end my life now. i started burning and cutting again. Theres know escape. Please someone […]
First time postinq.Spoke to my social worker yesterday.I told that I was qonna overdose so I can leave this corrupted world,I told her not to tell my mom but you know yall can’t trust adults.I was stupid enouqh to trust her and well I just went to the hospital in december for depression and suicidal ideation!,now I’m qoinq aqain!I stayed there for six days last time but my social worker says Ima stay there for about two weeks now.It’s not to bad tho exepct for the qroup,there ssssoooo borinq and the sleepinq at nine,dude I’m freakinq seventeen not six!…..I’ve been readinq alot of stories on […]
I guess I’m suicidal. My stomach churns just putting that label next to my name. I think about it all the time. I think about all the things wrong. I get sucked into that black hole where you just keep going down and down. And then I find myself on facebook in an immature poke-battle with one of my best friends (who I also happen to have been hopelessly in love with for years) and I can’t wipe the smile off my face as I watch the notification pop up again and again. A real smile, not the stupid fake one I plaster on my […]
4 years ago, I tried to kill myself… the biggest regret in my life is that I failed. Today, my best friends mom called me to tell me that he no longer wants to be my friend. 22 years old and he can’t even tell me that himself??? I have stupid small medical problems, one after another, constantly holding me back from completely being healthy. Nothing major like cancer or anything, but still big enough to keep me down. And now this… my closest friend decides to drop me, and actually blocked my phone number so I couldn’t even ask him why. Why do I […]
Right now in my life things are not the best. I thought i got over the bullshit and hurtfull things in my life but spending a few days with your family brings it all back [I went on vacation with them for 10 days] and still they haven’t changed i mean yes we all live in the same house but i don’t see them at all because i hate being around them my dad and i never see i to eye and he is always telling me that am a […]
I don’t know what it is I apologize for.
“I’m sorry, Peter.”
I apologize for everything; every action I take, every move my friends make, every problem that comes up.
“I’m sorry, Cordell.”
Someone loses something, “I’m sorry.” Someone questions my meaning, “I’m sorry, I’ll stop talking.” Someone finds what I said not as serious as I intended it, “I’m sorry, I’m just being stupid.”
“I’m sorry, Joey.”
What is it I’m trying to apologize for?
“I’m sorry for being such a burden.”
“I’m sorry for being so difficult.”
“I’m sorry I’m not the friend I should be.”
It’s worse when I apologize to my mom, unprovoked.
“Sorry? What for?”
I suppose I’m sorry for […]
I hate myself so fucking much.
It’s quite hard.. to explain how much I hate the way I am.
And I hate my gorgeous, skinny, perfect friends too for saying that they are ugly.
Shut the fuck up.
I would honestly kill to look like them.
I am never happy with myself.
I can’t do anything right.
I’m ugly.
Fat.
Stupid.
Worthless.
Disgusting.
I just hate it.
Why was I given this body.
Why?
I took a whole bunch of pills, just enough to make me happy. And I was REALLY happy. I felt good.  My best friend told me not to do it any more, so I told him I wont. But I’m not so sure I can keep tat promise. I haven’t felt that good in so long.
I make stupid decisions. I say stupid things. I do stupid things. Im just so stupid.
-End
I’m 19 years old, and I’ve been through more than any person should in their lifetime. I’ve been raped twice, the first was by my “loving boyfriend” when I was 15, he said he loved me, and I believed him. Because of this, I was stupid enough to stay with him. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he also physically and emotionally abused me constantly. My so-called friends knew what was going on, and they just sat there and did nothing.  The best day of my life was October 15th 2006 when I got into a car accident and he was killed. I thought the […]
i feel like i am slowly drowning myself in mindless shit… i have settled for a life that makes me unhappy simply because i know there is nothing better for me out there. the only person that keeps me from doing anything stupid is my son.. but yesterday the asshole i have settled with just reminded me of everything wrong with me.. how i am with him because he was the only one willing to be with me cause i am fat, ugly, and dont have much going for me. how i am thousands of dollars in debt, don’t have a driver’s license, have a dead end […]
I’m so very sorry. I’ve made a permanent decision that in 2 months, I will definitely kill myself.
Please, don’t try to change my mind. I’ve made it up, and you all shouldn’t waste your energy on filth like me.
I’ve been living in a fantasy world for years now, and the wall separating my fantasy world from the reality I’ve never wanted to face has finally come down. I’ve truly seen how horrible of a human being I am now, and it has become intolerable.
I don’t blame the world, or even my surroundings. I blame me for being a selfish, stupid and ungrateful person.
Though this may […]
I’m a 25 year old who is married to a very loving husband. Really he is my only good thing in my life. I feel so depressed because I can’t graduate from college. I’ve tried to hard to pass math to graduate but its not working and I’m unable to finish. I have taken it several times and I have tried every method in the book. I am just not a math person. So I’m working at a movie theatre with teenagers to make ends meet even though I’m barely making them because I get min. wage and not very many hours, just part time. […]
I imagine myself as the boy stumbling out of the bar at 3AM alone and walking home. I don’t know what “home” is anymore, but I’m going to walk there, drunk and abandoned. And at some point, I’ll start singing a few songs that remind me of him.
I wish I could say I’m so sorry. I wish I could say I love him to him. I wish he felt the slightest bit of remorse for every time he said I meant less than nothing to him. I wish I could wake up tomorrow and find his car parked outside my house, knocking on the door, […]
I am not sure if I wish to stay alive any longer, once I had freinds, but they are all gone now.
I am never together with someone I am always alone, but there also is another reason for me to die.
I does for some reason want to se what comes after live, what happens, if there is any greater mening with all this! What is the reason that we are here?! WHY ARE WE HERE!
In 4-5 years I have been alone in my class, never any one to talk to, or anything. I am beginning to be tired of it all. I dont see the […]
 I’m stupid. I can hardly get a C in a class. My dad calls me a flunky, failure, stupid and a *****. I’m not pretty at all. I eat a lot but I’m not super fat. Every one picks fun of me, I’m aways wearing black. My boyfriend and I have been going out for about seven months and still nothing has changed. I haven’t changed. I smoke and I’m only 15. I like to think of older guys. People scar me. I have to many fears. My best hobby would have to be researching serial killers. My parents say I’ll be one.
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 Any one who […]
Tonight i’m going to truely give in to this stupid cycle of misery and i’m going to make it end.
I’ve planned it well i beleave no one suspects i’m going to do it, i saw a counselor and i lied to him and chickened out of the help i know i need, walking into his office i felt so sure that he could fix me, help me but then i knew that no one could fix me so i lied and made out it wasn’t as bad as it seemed ironically he asked if i had a plan or some method, i said no […]
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