Hi.. I am MrSilent. There is not much to know of me so I won’t bother with the details. I will give a very broad background of why I have chosen this name..
For years and counting, I have been silent. Silent of my emotion, silent of my thoughts and silent of my life and it’s duration. Recently, I’ve stumbled upon this community. I thought it would be quite interesting to be able to speak through text.. I have much to say but I will save most for later if I am still living. There is not a doubt that I am slowly collapsing, so, […]
I’m so fucking fed up with everything right now. My parents are driving me fucking crazy by being goddamn indecisive and they won’t tell me what the fuck is going on. Why do you have to play this stupid game?! Why can’t you tell me what’s going on? Why can’t you try to help me instead of putting such pointless weight on me that I can’t do anything about. Stop it. JUST STOP IT!
I’m fucking depressed enough. I’m already batshit crazy and this doesn’t fucking help. It doesn’t help that I don’t have anybody to talk to. It doesn’t help that all of this makes […]
I am, though. I can’t help it. I can’t help the fact that Im a failure. It’s not like I’ve not tried to put myself out there. I’ve done everything you wanted, Mom, Dad- I just… Nobody wants someone who’s nobody. And they don’t want any bullshit art that this shitty ass fucking 16 year old made. They don’t want dumbass masks I put my hard work into. They don’t even want my paintings! You tell me to put myself out there and then I’ll get people to buy my things. You tell me not to get a real job and just rely on art. […]
I’m still getting through my depression. It’s almost a daily battle here at college, but I’m surviving somehow. I heard this music one day with my therapist, and I couldn’t stop crying.
This song has kept me through some of the hard days. I play it when I fall asleep. I wake up better.
Today’s just been horrible.
I always say to myself that I don’t think I could kill myself because of how my family would feel, but today I really couldn’t care less. Not a lot to say, but today I realized something I didn’t realize before
I am definitely, 100% sure that at some point I’ll take my own life.
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow,
but soon.
-V
I’ve been dealing with depression since my teens l’m 30. Last year my husband past away and l have never been so depressed. Now I rarely leave the house and just wish for death. I have attempted suicide 3 times in my life, last year was the last time. I really don’t want to live but don’t want to kill myself but I have days when I don’t think straight and come really close to trying again. I have family I don’t want to hurt but I am so miserable all of the time and maybe it would be better to get it […]
I’m so done with life honestly. Literally no one likes me anymore. Everyone hates me or uses me. I feel like I’m at rock bottom right now. I just got a job, but that’s only because my mom pushed me. I literally rely on getting drugs or getting intoxicated somehow at least everyday. And I go crazy when I don’t. I’ve now slept with 10 people within a year and my friends are all telling me once I hit 11 I’m a slut and I really feel like it’s true. I’m literally a fuck up. My family doesn’t even like me anymore or give a […]
I’ve been feeling worse and worse. Today in class I didn’t make the effort to open my notebook and take notes. I blankly stared at the slideshows and pretended to be engaging in class.
I tried to start on the three essays that are due tomorrow for my Communications class but greatly failed as I spent time watching videos on YouTube trying to keep myself alive. I lied to my mom about my second class of the day and told her that once again my teacher cancelled class so I could just go to my psych appointment and then we could go home.
I should probably try […]
I found this guy on tumblr, he plays in some kind a band called “Despised Kids” , nevermind.
I found his post very inspiring so i post it here maybe it will help someone
”
“I want my songs to go out to anybody who’s ever been betreyd by they friend,their family…
To anybody that’s been told that way they think,way they feel or act is the wrong way…
To anybody that has ever been made to doubt themselves about anything in their life,about their words, their body,about the way […]
I guess i could either give it a fancy title or just get to the point. Depression. Anxiety. Abuse.
I have actually not came out about it (abuse) and please do not think i am doing this so you feel sorry for me or anything! Yes at the age of 5 i was abused a lot till the age of 11. It wasn’t just by one person though. Since then i’ve always been scared and try my best to reduce attracting attention. i always blamed myself.
Last year, December, i realised i had depression and was diagnosed of it. Went to several people but none helped. Just […]
Hi! I’m going to remain anonymous but I’m a 13-year-old bigender person who has never really been happy. I doubt I’ll ever post here again because I have other places to vent (where I’ve posted this, but I feel really bad so I’m gonna write it again. For some reason it makes me feel better), and I prioritize those places. Anyway, here is me.
I was born to my dating high-school-sweethearts mother and father. They lived with my mom’s mother for two years after that before getting an apartment together (with me, of course). They didn’t love each other anymore. My dad says they weren’t even […]
I’m falling apart.
My life is falling apart.
I have been so hopeful.
I’ve been trying so hard.
But I just keep receiving bad things.
Now I keep thinking bad things.
I just want to die.
I can’t do this anymore.
Life is too overwhelming.
I can’t get ahead.
I can’t catch a break.
I can’t do this anymore.
I can’t live like this anymore.
I want to die.
I need to.
Bye SP.
All my life I knew something was different about me… Maybe it was how self conscious I became when my parents couldn’t afford to have more than one or two outfits that fit me when I was little. Or maybe it was how hard my mom tried to make my brother and I happy, but my dad always tore her down.. Maybe it was my parents always being to busy to come to any of my school concerts and events? Maybe it was just me? All I know is that through it all, no matter who I have around me, trying to support me.. I […]
yeah. im getting bad again. i was feeling so good, without cutting. and now everything is fallin in pieces.
I was in love with him, he just used me. I miss my dad. Bullying. My mom screaming shit about me. I dont belong here. im better of dead.
I feel like I’m withering away.
Rotting from the inside out.
My body breaking down and I’m going into shock.
I can’t feel anything anymore.
There is no life left in me.
Not sure why my heart is still beating and my eyes still seeing, my fingers still touching, and my mind just wandering.
Around in circle until I can’t remember who I am.
I’ve forgotten.
Or had I ever really known?
It takes courage to take your own life.
To let yourself drift into nothingness.
Into the unknown.
To leave your family, your home, this life.
But this home is no longer a home.
It […]
When you constantly think about suicide you start to recognize the signs of others who are thinking about it. You notice they mimic some of the things you do. When you’re thinking about self harm and you tug at your sleeves and close your eyes to try and stop thinking about letting blood come from your arms. Or when you play with your necklace trying not to think of it as a noose. You notice when others cringe and close their eyes. When they hold back their tears because no one really cares about what’s going on. We notice but we never really try to […]
Even when I was on the brink of killing myself, when all I wanted to do was rip my skin apart and die, I never missed an assignment, or failed to sit through a two-hour-long lecture, even when I couldn’t breathe because of panic attacks. I never once missed a training session or a competition even though I could not stop coughing because of pneumonia. Even when I was burning at a high fever, I never even thought about my own health when I was staying up late to type an essay. I didn’t mind driving myself crazy wondering whether or not my essay was […]
My hair started falling out. I almost have a bald spot. I have anemia, vitamin deficiencies. I wish the supplements I take are real pills, that way I can just die without over thinking it. I hate my family so much;what an overrrated satement. I hear this so much, too much. They keep driving me to kill myself, day by day. I feel so alone, but I can’t/don’t want to reach out. I want suicide the easy way and I hate myself for that- man the fuck up.
They (the third party, your conscience, your therapist, your pamphlet, the suicide hotline)say that after suicide, the emotion […]