A story with no starting

I guess i could either give it a fancy title or just get to the point. Depression. Anxiety. Abuse.

I have actually not came out about it (abuse) and please do not think  i am doing this so you feel sorry for me or anything! Yes at the age of 5 i was abused a lot till the age of 11. It wasn’t just by one person though. Since then i’ve always been scared and try my best to reduce attracting attention.  i always blamed myself.

Last year, December, i realised i had depression and was diagnosed of it. Went to several people but none helped. Just when you think you are getting okay..you just fall back into this black hole. i could keep going on but what’s the point? No one cares anyways.

Anxiety was diagnosed when i was in year 10. Time to time i get these panic attacks that feels like i might just drop dead. I’ve searched and tried all possible ways to die but failed at that.

i’m just a failure, hopeless, waste of space, disappointment, used, ugly, fat, immature, irresponsible human.

There is a reason as to why i have came out and put this out. Because everyone goes through something. Everyone feels like there is no one who cares or even listens. I just want to tell you no matter how big or small your problems are or no matter how to feel, i don’t know you but i’ll offer my shoulder for you to try on and listen to what you say and help you as much as i can. There’s a reason why i am still living, and that is because of my mission. My mission to help other going through what i have. I went through it alone and no one else deserves to go through alone at all. I know you have a purpose as well. Instead of ruining each day, live the days and prove everyone wrong. I am still young but i’ve seen nearly all the situations a person deals with every day ranging from divorce, rape to bullies and more.

If you want to contact me email me: diluxshi@live.co.uk