Lately, i’ve been thinking about suicide. This anxiety is eating me out alive. I feel it nonstop, it’s always there. The feeling is so unreal, that it’s a mixture of the shock you get after hearing about the death of a loved one, and going down a big hill on a roller coaster. I have an anxiety disorder and a broken family. My parents rarely understand anything i’m going through, yet they’re always there for me. There’s a boy I love and he doesn’t love me back. He’s also depressed. If he were to die today, so would I. It would be my fault if […]
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Suicide
I’m 49 years old and have had suicidal ideation since I was about 9. I’ve had a lifetime of therapy, over 23 years of 12-step meetings, and almost 20 years of anti-depressants. I have many friends, I’m a licensed attorney, and I have the most charming house. Most important of all, I have the most awesome kid. When I read that I should not commit suicide because “things will get better,” I assure you, in many respects things couldn’t get any better. However, the effects of child abuse are incurable and life-long and after being alive for almost half a century, I am confident that things, fundamentally, […]
When i read suicide stories online. I allways read reactions like, don’t worry, one day everything will get better. It will all be allright. You might feel sad at the moment but your future will get brighter.
Well, stop lying, it’s not going to happen. I take my pills daily, pills to reduce my depression but also pills to reduce my pain. My nerves are damaged and i have chronical pain.
It’s going on for 2 years now, and no. It won’t get better, it won’t restore, i’ve lost all hope.
I shouldn’t even be drinking with my medication, but i do. I drink even more […]
I really wonder am I weak for letting the pain get to me like this? For all the tears I’ve cried for all the times I’ve put a blade to my skin. For the constant thoughts of killing myself? For not wanting to be here. I have had a hard past but why cant I just let that go and move on? Why cant I be happy again? I have to many questions…. but honestly I am tired. I hardly ever sleep anymore and I have to force myself to get up and go on everyday. I appear happy to everyone but I’m no where […]
I’m in a constant battle with my self. My friends and family beg me not to cut my self or to think about killing myself but its not that easy. I mean they try to support me but they sometimes make me feel like I’m worthless and that i failed them. I hate myself so much already and I’m scared to tell them they make me feel this way but I’m not sure how much longer I can handle this hell. I try to make everyone else happy when I’m dying on the inside. Can someone help me? I’m lost and confused.
I really don’t want to have to do this. I don’t want to cause any devastation. I know that I don’t see why it would hurt anyone–I’m really nothing important. But I also know that death hurts people. It just does. No matter the nature of the relationship. People who you have never spoken to in your life will cry for you. It makes no sense to me at all. Perhaps, it scares them more than it saddens them? Makes them realize that they to are set to expire some day? I don’t know. But I’m just so tired, so exhausted in every way. I […]
im here coz i dont want anybody that i know to know what im going through
by douleur
written by douleur
im in a position where i need that pain deep in me to end. and i dont know how..the only way that im aware of is to end everything. im in a a position where many girls have been. it may even sound common and uninteresting to many. i have lost the love of my life..the love that every minute of my life in the last 3 years have revolved. it may sound common but the pain of every person is huge..its unbearable..and its important to them. my world came crashing down. after all these years, i seem insignificant and worthless to the love of […]
If you really knew me you would know that I was happy. I was surrounded by happiness and laughter. Now I just want to wither away. Everybody who I was close to drifted apart from me and look at me like I’m psycho. If you really knew me you would know that I’m hurting physically and emotionally, I feel numb. Numb is really an understatement but that’s the only way of describing it. If you really knew me you would check my limbs for cuts periodically, Nobody cares enough to do that though. If you really knew me you would know I’m breaking down and […]
Well… I don’t know… I have three older brothers my first brother is 15 years older than me so I pretty much grew up without him, my second oldest brother is 12 years older hes nice sometimes but it seems like he’s always obsessing over me.. He calls me baby and says he loves me and gives me hugs and kisses most of the time forcefully and smacks my butt and I scream at him to stop and my youngest brother is 5 years older than me… He’s my closest brother.. It was so hard for me when he left for college.. I didn’t know […]
I hate reading all these messages of optimism on these suicide sites. Especially when it’s in response to a teenager, “You have your whole life ahead of you!” Yeah right. If it’s anything like mine, you don’t want to live through it.
I’m 30, and I’ve wanted to die since I was 8. Too young? Not when you mother is psychologically abusive. I have a lifetime full of stories about her. The shortest example I can think of was when I was a teenager. I got my report card. It was 2 A’s, a B, and a C. She SCREAMED at me for over 2 hours. […]
I am suicidal and I have attempted suicide on many occasions. I have been to a treatment center for it but I don’t feel it helped at all. I still cut and I love it.
Well, isn’t this great. Just when my suicidal thoughts start to lessen, i start having homocidal ones. Last night I was looking at my little 5-year-old brother, who I love and adore. And then I started laughing like a freaking maniac. I didn’t know why I did. It just felt so good to laugh. I realised later why I laughed so demonically. It was because I wanted to kill him. I wanted to slit his throat. I don’t want to kill him, or anyone, for that matter now. I don’t know why…it was like I wasn’t even in control of myself. I just don’t […]
I wanna know what I did so horrible to get such a harf life like this I’m only 17 yrs old I lost my brother & dad to suicide I’m homeless my mom couldn’t care any less about me. It seems like all everyone ever wants to do is hurt & break me down What have I done to get such a hard life? Im terrified or death but it seems like its the only way out of this piece of shit life I have? What is the real meaning of all that I’m being put through cause it isnt to make me stronger. I […]
Music Saved My Life (My Story)Â <— video of my story click the link
I’m cursed with horrible anxiety that leaves me speechless when faced with crowds, new people, and almost every situation I find myself in everyday. I have friends but they’re all online and I’ve never met them in person and I don’t plan on it. Anxiety made me like this. To make it short, anxiety will take over your entire life, destroy it until there’s nothing left, and dance on your grave. Be warned.
Not Exactly Sure How To Start These. I’m Just Gonna Wing It.
From The Time I Was In Kindergarden I Was Bullied. Pushed Around, Bothered. No One Really Ever Left Me Alone. It Wasn’t Until 4th Grade It Started Getting Bad. I Started Getting In Trouble In School, I Owed 6,000 Hours Of Community Service By The Time I Had Finished 5th Grade. The Beginning Of 6th My Life Started Going Downhill Fast, My Parents Got Divorced, Week To Week With Mom And Dad. I Was Severely Unwanted At My Dad’s House. My Aunt Lived Next Door And My Uncle Lived Across The Street, I Couldn’t […]
I’ve always thought about killing myself. It’s been the one consistent character trait I’ve had since I was three, and I don’t know why I feel this way. Today at work, I realized that suicide seems to be the only way for me to go. I don’t know when, where, or why, but it’s all I have. I don’t have friends, I have people that I call friends, but I don’t have the emotional fortitude to have any real emotion for anyone. That is relatively new, it started when I was seventeen. Now here I am, 21, on a suicide blog. I don’t want to […]
Whats’s there to even say about me anymore? What’s the point in saying it. I am now a 19 year old male who has been in a severe state of depression for 6-7 (if not more) years. I hate reading the cliche sayings by depressed people, who just doesn’t know how to express what they feel, but I find myself using those same exact ones. I’m so overwhelmed just in writing this, that I have no idea where to begin… I guess I’ll tell a little of my story.
Well… I was raised by parents who believe/d in a rather extreme form of evangelical-charismatic christianity. Looking […]
This is my story, I would kindly like to ask you to not put rude comments. When I was a child I was mostly forgotten about. My sister had all the attention. My parents were both alcoholics, that forced my sister and I to be our own parents. I was probably about 1-3 I couldn’t take care of myself so my sister had to. My mom was a horrible drinker. She decided to pick us up from school one day drunk. As we drove back home my sister, she looked at me. Her face full of fear and turned around that’s when we heard the […]
I want to die, i hate my life my family is terrible my brother is crazy ,a thief and a horrible person, his purpose in life is to annoy people, and my sister makes me feel bad about everything you come home happy she opens her mouth you want to kill yourself, school is awful, the only reason i am going is because my parents abuse me and i can’t say no to them also my father won’t give me a dime so i have to go to sell people answers to tests, homework and exams so i can get enough change to combine into […]