I hate every second I spend in this hell hole that’s supposed to be my home. I hate looking at my dad, every time I do I feel this surge of resentment. Im tired of being that bastard’s punching bag, the fuck up to blame when things go wrong, the one who’s talents are ignored. I’ve never cut before but tonight I really want to. Everything that’s important to me is ignored, the only thing that gets me noticed is when I get pissed off and snappy, then they yell at me and I’m left crying, trying hard to explain. No one understands, they can’t […]
Tag:
Suicide
It was only the first time.
I spun the blade around in my hands
contemplating if I should really do this or not.
I heard my mom yell.
Yes, I should, It’s worth it.
The blade sank into my arm,
cutting across my arm.
Not too deep.
It was only the second time.
The kids at school were bullies.
My parents just got mad.
I took the blade in my hands.
I didn’t even think about it.
I pushed it into my arm,
cutting across parallel to the last one,
A little deeper.
It was at least the 50th time.
I didn’t even have different reasons anymore.
why why why is the question i get asked everyday .
why are you sad why are you mad why are you hurt why are you depressed . why why why
why are you cutting why are you suicidal why do you wanna die .
why do you feel so alone .
and i just sit there and cry cause to be completely honest i dont know why i dont why i am such a mess or when it began.
i dont know why i wanna kill myself i just feel like it would be the best thing .
my bestfriend kellis commited suicide today […]
i have been depressed and suicidal for almost 4 years now. i am currently 14 years old. i have attempted suicide around 20 times (no attempts in recent year). i have frown tired of life, and i no longer feel as though i have a place on earth anymore. i promised myself that i wouldnt do it, but i can not keep that promise much longer. i dont know what to do, i am losing control and i dont even mind it.
Haven’t been on this site for awhile. I was hoping not to come back, but I guess it was unavoidable.
I have a wife, a kid, a car, a mortgage. My wife has dreams. Wife makes twice as much as I do, and I am constantly between jobs. I have no dreams or hopes. I am trying really hard to hold on to my sanity and my job (as both a father and employee) but it is not working anymore and I am tired. I want to get the hell out of here.
I know very well that if I kill myself or divorce, I will destroy […]
You are probably sitting alone thinking why me? Why is this happening to me? What did i do to deserve this? Am i being punished? WHY ME? I am Jojo Ladd and i suffer from severe anxiety and depression. Im currently on medication which only seems to be making things worse. I try to tell myself ‘things will get better’ but they never do. But i dont give up because im here for a reason and i had a shitty childhood for a reason and i had to hit rock bottom for a reason. I may not be perfect and have problems and scars but […]
To the girl who was called ‘ugly’ by the many people she’d call ‘friends’, we will remember you.
To the boy who’s sexuality made him a target of beating bullies, we will remember you.
To the high school dropout who followed the wrong path of alcohol and drugs, we will remember you.
To the man who had no home, love or hope, we will remember you.
To the woman who lost her husband to cancer, we will remember you.
And to the all the other innocent, pure minds who have taken their lives, we will remember you, and the suffering you have once endured, Is now peace within the heart.
im 18 years old i have tried to commit suicide 22 times i dont know y it just hurts to be  alive sometimes it unbearable knowing that onone loves u i hate my life my ex tried to put a bullet in his head cause i broke up with him i tried to cut off the tip of my finger i finally met someone like me but it still hurts!
So ive never been a blogger or anythig but I would like to share my story so people can relate. When I was younger I was bullied at home and at school. My dad was always very mean to us whicj is sadly common. I was a very sick child and they thought I would die at an early age. I was very skinny where you coul see all my ribs and my eyes sunk in. People often made fun of me at school for being so sick. I was bullied all through elementry school for being ugly,sick, and dumb. Life was very hard for […]
I have nothing clever or profound to write. I’m just sad tonight and lonely and was crying- just pathetic. but it’s the truth. I’m feeling so alone and messed up this week. I was better last week, some stuff happened, nothing major, but it’s completely derailed me. Does that happen to anyone else? It’s so soul destroying. I have to get up off the floor once again.
At least crying made me feel some relief, some pain went away and I can feel a little,. But I was afraid if my brother wasn’t here I was going to run into the woods with the kitchen knife.
So […]
I snapped.
I confided in you my deepest secret.
I trusted you.
But, I was wrong to do so.
You twisted my words.
Made it sound worse than it really was.
Then, you told everyone.
Don’t you know?
I still have feelings.
I thought you were my friend.
I thought you were the only one who cared about me.
But, I was wrong.
You didn’t care.
Others did, but I turned my back, and now they don’t.
It was all you.
You spread the rumors.
You talked behind my back.
Don’t you know?
I still have feelings.
I showed you my scars.
I showed you what I […]
I am on the edge. Trying to determine whether or not it’s time for me to die. I just want the curse to be lifted. I want to be set free. Happy again.
But what if dying is not as wonderful as it seems?
I don’t necessarily want to kill myself. But i think most of us on this site have contemplated it at least once before.
I recently made the decision not to eat any more. My stomach is too large. My thighs are too bulky. My arms are too fat. i hate being ugly. it sucks.
“Suicide is never the answer.” yeah, okay, i get that. But […]
It may sound counterintuitive but I consider the wish to die to be a sign of hope. After all, what is that person saying other than, I HOPE that what comes after life, whether it be nothing or another life, is better than this one. It is the HOPE of something better which makes us reach for something else. Without that hope, what’s the point in dying?
And it must be hope that drives that wish as there is NO information on what happens after death. It may be that we simply cease. It may be that we experience an afterlife full of peace and love, […]
Im home in florida but homeless, im going  this week to buy  another gun cuz the last gun i got was stolen, just in time to commit my suicide ive been planning for a year
I’m bored so….The first time, I was 14, I was scared to death my dad had a meeting at the school and he was going to find out I was flunking out. Â I went into the cabinet and poured a bunch of Aspirin into my hand and swallowed them. Â I laid in bed and closed my eyes. Â This was my most sincere attempt because at the time thats what I knew, I had heard on TV (lots of times) about overdosing on pills. My teenaged brain didn’t have the defense mechanisms it has today. Â All that happened was I ended up sleeping for 14 hours […]
I’ve been arguing with myself over the topic of suicide for a while now. I randomly came across this site from a Google search about suicide and felt inclined to sign up and post something. I’ll be surprised if anyone even reads this. Or comments. Or offers help.
I’m deeply, horribly depressed, and I don’t get why. I’ve never been abused. I’ve never lost a loved one. I don’t come from a broken family. I grew up in a comfortable lifestyle. I have no reason to be depressed. Alas, I am. I’m empty inside.
Although I grew up in a comfortable home, I never had […]
When you listen to the old philosophers they all agree that the human mind is a thing of beauty and interest. For some people on the earth that still rings true, but for people like me and im guessing people like you this is bullshit. The human mind is terrifying. Yeah sure it can let some people work out a complex maths equation but show it a hint of weakness and it will exploit it and tear you to shreds, leaving you sitting in pitch blackness in the corner of a room dripping blood onto the floor.
That is what happens to me.
“Suicide is not […]
How exactly does one commit suicide with a belt and a doorknob? Maybe this is a naive question but where does the other end go once you fasten the makeshift noose part?
All my parents do is make me feel like im not good enough. im sorry i cant be their perfect child. It’s hard trying to keep them happy.
My friends have all became distant. I sit alone on the bus and at lunch. None of them understand. I’ve tried telling them but they dont help. Only i can help myself, i understand that. but i dont know how. im lost.
I told my boyfriend my whole story once. the reason i started cutting. why im suicidal. why im always crying when he calls me late at night. I told him all of my secrets. He made me […]
When I started high school I was a normal girl, I liked to laugh and make people laugh, I was loud but it wasn’t an obnoxious loud I just spoke my mind. But I started high school in a small town where everyone knew everyone and they didn’t accept outsiders, I was the outsider. I got bullied every day, by second semester I was tired of it. I felt bad for being weak under the pressure, so that made me feel worse. IÂ was always very insecure about my weight but it got worse in ninth grade, I took handfuls of diet pills everyday. I started […]