If someone asked me why I want to kill myself, why I want to be dead, what would I say? I don’t have a real reason anymore. I know I can fix things in my life to get better. I have someone helping me figure out my future. I have goals in my life. I want to start a family. I want to write a book. I want to be a teacher. But I also want to kill myself. I don’t know the reason anymore for it. There are small issues in my life, but I’m trying to fix them. I am. I’m trying so […]
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text
This morning I sent out all my thanksgiving text to my family and close loved ones. Tellin them that I love them and the reason why I’m thankful for them. At least they’ll know how I feel when I off myself. I’ve been on this site since 2012 and nothing hasn’t gotten better. It only got worse.
I guess this is why rape victims never come forward about anything. I’ve only told 5 of my closest friends and out of the five, two have told me it was my fault and one doesn’t believe me after I told him the whole story from start to finish. […]
Please, somebody that’s more logical than me, somebody that can help. Tell me not to, tell me not to beg my cousin to give me her number so I can text her. It wouldn’t even be that long of a text, and I wouldn’t send more than one. Please, tell me not to. I want her to be happy, I can’t let me ruin that for her. I’m better than that.
God, she’s so beautiful though. She’s absolutely intoxicating. When I look at her, I find it damn near impossible to imagine I’ve kissed those lips. The one thing I can be sure of though is […]
I knew it, you knew it, we all knew it. He got his life back together, so I’m not fucking important anymore. All I get is “I’m busy don’t text me”. No, of course there’s no room for me in his world. I’m not fucking needed anymore and I’m sure as fuck not wanted!!!!
There are so many misconceptions about what it feels like to be compulsive. The most common being that people who are compulsive are obsessively cleanly and a perfectionist, that’s not always the case. Like with me, I’m compulsive in a way where when I remember something unpleasant, or I’m just triggered I have an “episode.” Let me explain what these episodes are, they’re when I remember something and I go through… I don’t have words to describe it. Imagine the worst you’ve ever felt in your entire life, then compress that into maybe one or two seconds. That’s what happens when I have my episodes, […]
and he was online … she was too .. he said “hey” and ever since they are talking on Facebook .. she was having a foot injury out of something stupid that caused a metal piece .. get sticked into her foot .. she told him that , he said ” I feel really bad when a beautiful girls like you get hurt” ..
they kept talking for a days .. and then she said .. I’m going out tomorrow to the collage .. if you wants to go with me give me your phone number .. and he does .. and they kept talking […]
I.. ugh.. everything’s getting worse.. i could use someone..
Text me or kik me.. please.. its in a previous post..
Lately I’ve been asking myself one question. What’s the point of everything I’m doing?
Why am I trying?
Who really even care’s what happens to me?
See I’m a single mom of two. I have a two year old and a four year old. An ex who doesn’t give two flying chicken nuggets about them and a family that more or less feels like they despise me lately. I can’t get over no matter how hard I try people still seem to hate me for some reason. I screwed up and called a close friend a friend today and he got upset because he was hoping for the […]
So, my post where I add a link with all my posts in the forum has been removed. Please explain why, how it breaks the forum rules. If it breaks them, I accept it. But how it breaks the rules.
Some people made severe accusations toward me, I asked for proof, they said they are not interested to give proofs.
So, how you could accuse someone without proof?
I have a text file with all my comments in the forum. I will post here or send it to you, or you could check by yourself.
I don’t want to troll here, or create dramas, but when someone accuse another […]
When I was growing up my life was fine until my dreams turned into night mares by nights got longer and afternoons got shorter. when I was 12 I starting cutting my wrist because I was bullied in school mostly by boys, (im a girl) It was a time where I wanted to commit suicide in the school bathroom with my belt but I was a cow ward and didn’t go through with it. By 13 I was cutting both wrist an legs I knew I was supposed to eat but I would just drink water for days and not eat anything. I got a […]
Today, was terrible. It started off with me being lied to. Then that lead to me doing something terrible because of that lie. Next, I went throughout my whole day thinking that was a great thing I did. After school, I got a text asking why I did that terrible thing from the person I did it to. I asked about the lie and they said it wasn’t true. Then, that person blocked me, and I really needed to say more to them. Then, I figured out that I did that terrible thing for no reason and my crush, hated me. It was terrible and […]
I can feel it in my palms, the way they sweat more than usual. Like when I’m anxious (always) they get a little clammy. But these past few weeks I’ve had this feeling. That strange feeling , its even difficult for me to comprehend. & I feel it in my gut everyday. Ya’ know, most people tell me “don’t do it, you’re selfish if you do.” “you’d kill yourself over a person who killed themselves? that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” But the truth is, it’s not the dumbest thing a person has heard. Especially if that person was now left alone, due to […]
Went on a tinder date. Get this text message afterwards:
Hey. I just wanted to say how great of a person you are. You have a strong personality. You take on and take over quickly. With that being said I must be honest with you. I was having a great time but it was too much too quickly. I enjoyed it but I’m afraid this sort of relationship that we’ll likely develop is something I don’t want. I’m sorry I was too chicken shit to tell you in person but you are very nice and I couldn’t bare to hurt your feelings. I hope you […]
It’s lonely tonight. I’m sitting here completely alone, no one to call or text. No one to say I love you, good night or good morning. And I’ve never been happier for some strange reason. I’m not a social person anyways, I hate crowds, I hate being at social gatherings, and I have a hard time conversing with people. Possibly I was made to be alone for life. A cold but comforting lonliness at least for now.
i hate asking people for help. I hate being a burden. I hate being the first to text. But i do all of those things anyways cause i cant help it and its better than being alone. My best friend is becoming a stranger. I just feel as though on a daily basis nobody at all cares. Its hard to live like this. Ive never attempted to take my life but ive thought about it more than you can imagine. Sometimes i almost have the courage to attempt but have never gone through with it yet. keyword yet. So, I just wish there was someone […]
I don’t know what I’ve done to be exiled by all of my friends. I’ve been home a week. I haven’t been home in my house over 24 hours straight in a few years, I’m always out doing stuff with them. This is the third time this has happened in the last 10 fucking days I’ve been home. My best friend straight up ditches me day after day and then tries to blame it on me, making up stupid validations or excuses, and somehow I’m the one at fault. My other friend begs me to hang out with her because she’s bored, yet never calls me […]
I’m just so tired of being lonely, I feel like Im already dead as I don’t exist at all. People only remember me when they need something. They have my number but yet only call and text me when they want something. Everyone ignores me. I can’t take it anymore, I wish I was dead. I’m tired of this cruel and unfair world..My depression is at the point where I can’t take it anymore. There is no meaning of life to me and nobody cares about me, what’s the point. All I can say is that being lonely for several years is painful and suffering, […]
i wish i could just leave. It would make so many people happy. Maybe one person will be sad. But no one else cares… If i die, will you cry? probably not. 2 days ago, my relationship ended because he found out i self harmed and left… He said he was going to tell his friends that we broke up and i told him not to tell. He said “They wont care, i don’t care. I just feel bad for you” and this was over text. Maybe one day, someone can help me…
So I just spent the last 3 and a half days in the hospital with inflammation of my appendix and lower GI. Long story short, it wasn’t a pleasant stay. Although when is going into the hospital ever fun? Being probed, scanned, x-rayed, and treated like a human pin cushion isn’t my idea of a swell time. Can’t sleep in there for more than 30 minutes at a time with hourly vital check ups, lab works, and of course unannounced visitors. Not to say I’m not thankful for the friends and family who did come see me. Which is more than what I can say […]
I just..I don’t quite know. I just need to write down my thoughts..Pointless thoughts, that will most likely be over-looked as my life mostly is.
I should probably start from the beginning. When it all began. When I first sank into depression.
5 Years ago, I used to have a friend named Jessica. We hung out all the time.. She was my best friend, we grew up together. One day she sends me this text..and I knew something was wrong. This damn text is engraved into my mind. “I’m sorry, for everything, Thank you so much for being my friend. I’ll see you soon…but not too soon. […]