Tag:

thought

When you thought life couldn’t get any worse

by Lsari 9/16/2015

written by Lsari

It turns out it does.

How the hell do people find any will to do anything, I don’t understand. One guy told me to “wake up”, I understand what he was saying and I agree with him but I just can’t find anything inside me that has even an iota of positive will.

I can’t understand how people are able to go about their daily lives, am I the only one as fucked as I am? Of course not.

I’ve started doing an online course in programming, to try and regain that lost knowledge I had a year ago but I’m supposed to move out of the house by […]

9/16/2015 7 comments

So im back…

by onlyoption 9/14/2015

written by onlyoption

what hope is there for a kid that was molested and abused at 3, who let it happen again and again until 15 when they suddenly realised it was wrong? I’m 18 now and still don’t know what is normal. rape and abuse was standard for me, and the thought of someone treating me as an equal scares me, if they were to listen when I said no, how would I ever please them? there’s so little hope of finding happiness and acceptance now… maybe its not worth sticking around, maybe I’m too far gone to be normal.

9/14/2015 1 comment

Last chance

by Roaming_Soul 9/10/2015

written by Roaming_Soul

I’m going try and fight this one more time – this time I’m not holding back and I will give it my all.
The thought of suicide is still appealing to me, of course it would be after years of a sickening pain that has now left me wondering who I am as a person and how my miserable soul could possibly fit into this world.
But after my last failed attempt I realised that I would not go out without a fight. This life has kicked me down and kept me in the dumps for as long as I can […]

9/10/2015 2 comments

Education, Evolution, and Suicide

by Black_Heart2001 9/10/2015

written by Black_Heart2001

Even when I was on the brink of killing myself, when all I wanted to do was rip my skin apart and die, I never missed an assignment, or failed to sit through a two-hour-long lecture, even when I couldn’t breathe because of panic attacks. I never once missed a training session or a competition even though I could not stop coughing because of pneumonia. Even when I was burning at a high fever, I never even thought about my own health when I was staying up late to type an essay. I didn’t mind driving myself crazy wondering whether or not my essay was […]

9/10/2015 4 comments

Burned inside my head, Images of everything I had.

by Rotted_Flesh 9/6/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46teotoyLiw

What’s your excuse for all of this?
It’s 12 o’clock and it’s times like these I know for sure won’t be missed
but for now, it’ll always be raining in my mind
I can’t take back what I said, words that go your way seem to disconnect
It’s burning me inside and out, but yet my heart’s so cold.
It’s another night I have to face being all alone.
I never thought it was possible, but I’m seeing shades of grey.
This weight you left me, just gave you away.
I won’t face today, all my thoughts keep bringing me down
Not a single […]

9/6/2015 1 comment

My sister knows

by Mark_1981 9/2/2015

written by Mark_1981

So I met with my counsellor/psychologist today with my sister, the second time my sister went with me. No different than before my counsellor confirmed that our family of origin (the family in which we were raised) is high on the dysfunctional scale, confirming too the cult-like nature of it coupled with isolation and other forms of emotional abuse.

For the first time ever I think my sister realises how close I am to dying. I wanted her to attend partly for her to be able to prepare. My sister and I were close growing up and while it hurts to let her know and hurts […]

9/2/2015 5 comments

Pathetic

by hoshi 8/31/2015

written by hoshi

Have you ever thought of yourself as pathetic. I have too many times. Here I am, good life, good parents and siblings, good house, good school, and yet, I lack soooo much willpower. Will. I just have no will. Why do people with such screwed up lifestyles and in such screwed up situations be so awesome with great personality, character, and drive and I’m just here… No drive. I’m just so pathetic. I wouldn’t commit suicide due to feeling guilty towards my parents, the people who have looked after me, and all the people trying so hard but in such screwed up situations, but seriously… […]

8/31/2015 4 comments

Leaving SP…

by wndozh8er 8/27/2015

written by wndozh8er

No drama I promise. Just truth. First of all, I would like to give a shout out to all my friends in this group. Thank you for your love and support. If any of you would like to chat via email, my address is wndozh8er@aol.com.

I recently discovered that many of the posts I wrote broke the rules of this group and my status here is already hanging by a thread. Over the past few days we had a lot of fun, had deep and intelligent conversations, etc. the best of the best resides here.

I am a very outspoken person. Despite crossing the line with methods, […]

8/27/2015 55 comments

Does life have a point?

by SmokyMemories425 8/22/2015

written by SmokyMemories425

I used to believe in God but I sat down and really thought about it and the concept of heaven and hell just seem too fairy tale-ish to me. But does anyone know the point of life? What is the reason for us being here? It seems like it’s money for a lot of people. And that’s why I want to go. Whether or not God stated it,”The love of money is the root of all evil” is definitely the truth. I see it in on my family’s faces. In the news. On the streets. The desire of money is completely taking the humanity out of […]

8/22/2015 6 comments

Mixed emotions

by Enough2015 8/21/2015

written by Enough2015

When i thought this site was making me sadder because i face my depression at a more intense level, i read things that do make me laugh. I am NOT laughing at other peoples misery or posts, I’m not that cruel. Just an entertaining comment here and there.

So i will continue on this site a little longer even though it makes being in denial that little harder. Or maybe I’m just going through a good cycle. Who knows

8/21/2015 2 comments

If anyone wants to talk

by AleksiK18 8/21/2015

written by AleksiK18

HEY! Im a guy from Finland who was once suicidal, but overcame my suicidal thoughts and am here to listen to people if there interested and can offer advice on a wide range of issues.

If you like, you can email me at Tomialatalo@inbox.com I just want to say, that i’ve been there, and know just how far that deep, dark rabbit hole really goes! I have gone through a lot of bullshit in my life, but GOD has always been there helping me out of that rabbit hole! Just saying. Im kind of a “life consultant” if you will. I cant perform miracles, but i […]

8/21/2015 3 comments

How Not to Kill Yourself (Exit Bag/ Hanging attempt)

by PlagueDoctor 8/20/2015

written by PlagueDoctor

It was supposed to be my last week alive, I won’t say that I was Excited about it. I didn’t want to die, but when I stopped and thought about it, Suicide was really my best option. Of course I still had, and still do, have this pathetic Hope that I can Live a Life full of Happiness, Fulfillment, and Love. I Digress. So Here I am getting ready for My Final Week on earth. I had been put on Suicide watch, I was considered a High Risk Individual. My mistake for talking to a female online, fucking ***** tricked me, and called the cops […]

8/20/2015 8 comments

Still here <3

by Rotted_Flesh 8/19/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

There’s a silence in the room,
I don’t speak quite like you do.
You got my fingers crossed,
But I’ll catch myself and I’ll wish you off.
And I never thought the words you’d cast would hurt so much.
For that, well I won’t look back.
And I never thought the one you trust would stab your back,
I guess it’s not so bad.

There’s a window in my room,
I can’t see clear like you do.
I won’t move my mouth and I’ll stand up straight just to push you out.
So I can see your insides out,
And figure you out.

And I never thought […]

8/19/2015 0 comment

Noone cares.

by Sui_RC 8/17/2015

written by Sui_RC

Hey guys.
This is like my third post in two days.
Please advise on how to handle that feeling that noone really cares and the world would be waaaaay better off without you.
Cus, i for the past one month thats all i have been thinking. Cus i am a coward, i am still alive.
People , actually, one person who i thought cared a lot just turned out to be another one who didn’t.

8/17/2015 13 comments

can it be made easier for others?

by Mark_1981 8/16/2015

written by Mark_1981

I think there was a similar post on here but I thought I’d post again to see perhaps different insight.

Is there anyway to make it easier for the people that you leave behind? I have struggled many years adjusting from an existence of isolation…. I’m nearing the end and have thought of ways to make it easier. I have dropped hints and have asked the question to someone who I hold dear ” Would you be okay [go on with life] without me?”. I have spoken with my sister stating that I simply don’t know how long I’ll be around. I am in the […]

8/16/2015 3 comments

Why movies are better than reality ? Why movie is better than reality ? Why reality is boring ?

by niki 8/14/2015

written by niki

Why movies are better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why movie is better than reality / real life / real world ?
Why reality is boring ?

What puzzles me the most is human’s mind / human’s brains and imagination better than reality ( human’s fantasy is better than reality )

for example:
just look at the movies, novels, comics, games, books, , animations (anime / manga), science fiction (sci-fi), fantasy , like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Narnia, X-Men, Marvels & DC universe / movies , The Avengers , Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Swords Art Online, Naruto, Bleach, […]

8/14/2015 1 comment

Another sleepless night…

by Rotted_Flesh 8/14/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

I’ll have a drink for that. Another thought about my ex-fiancee, I’ll have a drink for that too. Another thought about my deceased loved ones, there’s a drink for that. Just a little sip, oh look some anti-anxiety pills I’ll have to take those too. Looking at my life, the past the present and the future and having absolutely no idea where I am going to be, there’s a noose for that…

8/14/2015 0 comment

I should just run in front of a train

by disgusting 8/13/2015

written by disgusting

I should do it without thinking. I can’t live like this!!!!! After the last several weeks, thought we were getting closer, he even asks if I could be fwb, then now it’s no I don’t want to come see you but I want your paycheck to help me out instead, and again with this that it hurts him that I love him. I need to just fucking kill myself!!!

8/13/2015 8 comments

I am absolutely useless

by Sui_RC 8/13/2015

written by Sui_RC

Hey guys.

I have been in this sad mood since like forever. Sure, I’d laugh and smile, but when its me, and i am alone, my thoughts take over.

I am convinced that i am useless and basically nothing more than a burden and cause of irritation and frustration to the people around me.

So, i thought a lot, a lot about suicide, i even started to cut myself, i have stopped now though.

But i guess, i still wanna die.

Anyone know how to get over that fear of dying?? Like, i am afraid of the pain it takes and because i dont know what happens after i die.

Help, […]

8/13/2015 5 comments

Relief

by Enough2015 8/13/2015

written by Enough2015

For most of my life I wished i was never born. I’ve never seriously thought about suicide methods as it was something i thought i couldn’t do.

Last night i felt myself taking a step closer towards the act. Although I’m not quite ready yet, the thought of knowing relieved my pain a little. I could see an end to my misery, whereas before it was indefinite.

I’m not posting this because i need attention. I just have no one to say it to and i need it.

8/13/2015 4 comments

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