I feel as if it’s only a matter of time before I try another attempt I can’t take being trapped in my own head anymore I think depression is a battle u win if u got the motivation to not give up I’m tired of fighting and nothing going right I literally have no motivation to save my self no more I always sabatage things and I hate myself of that I don’t understand why I do it some thing break that you can’t fix and having to live with the mess after I can’t take the pain anymore
Absolutely beautiful out today. Time to hit those waves, I just couldn’t resist posting this.
As I feel closer and closer to the end i have a sense of happiness and excitement for some strange reason. I don’t know if it’s the thought of leaving everything behind and not having to suffer any longer or what awaits me on the other side. Last night I sat in my room looking at old family photos and it brought a smile to my face of all those happy memories but now so distant and forgotten. I’m just not cut out for this world never have and never will be, so what’s the problem in me just ending it all now? I have […]
If you could have any super power, what would it be? Telekinesis? Time travel? An invisible hand to slap people you don’t like? 😉
Darnit, how I wish I had superpowers instead of being just a hum-drum human.
Btw, does anyone have any recommendations for good shows similar to heroes on netflix to watch? I love sci-fi! Lets me pretend I’m in another world / different life. At least until I turn it off and poof, I’m back in my crappy reality.
I’m 30 years old. Nearly everyone has cheated on me. I think that my boyfriend will if he hasn’t already. There is always something for him that I have to fix about myself. I feel like I can never be good enough. My family is fed up with me complaining about him, because it’s my choice to be with him. I don’t want to break up with him because I remember what it was like to have him fawning over me, and I think that somewhere he cares. I’m so confused, I don’t know who the true person is for him. He’s criticized my weight […]
Life was new
All to see; all to hear
All to feel, all was real
Then there was a bend in the road
The stars come out
With wonders and thrills
Miracles and spectacles
Then another bend in the road
Dreams and love
Hands in hands
An embrace; a kiss
And yet another bend in the road
Time and age
Love is now rage
Peace becomes pain
Then again, a bend in the road
No path remains clear
No wonder just fear
Seeds have been sown
Now, my load is end of the road.
I lost my job of almost twenty years today. I don’t have a degree, any skills, a really low IQ, and health problems. I made a pact with myself a long time ago that if this happened, it would be the last straw. I would need to stop being a baby and take my own life. People have been reaching out to me lately, but good people never consider maybe this person had plenty of chances and fucked them all up. Maybe it’s time to admit that I’m a mistake and stop burdening the world. Those people will get over it if I go. They’ll […]
Wake me up inside. Bid my blood to run, before I come undone. Call my name & save me from the dark. Bring me to life
I’ve become so familiar with it and it’s so on and off I have called my depression Sebastian. I have been following this site for a long time now and have recently realised that it is just another anchor I must set myself free of if I have any hope of recovery.
To anyone who decided to pay attention to this I thank you and bid you farewell.
– whathaveIdone
Four years passed in a blink of an eye,
left behind a bird can’t fly,
Every miss and every flaw,
All the tears and all the woe;
Striking now like blinding light,
A beaten soul through hopeless fight,
“Only if” won’t bring you back,
Nor the sorrow that shades the track,
Should I do IT should I not,
Time will tell though not a lot.
Waiting… for someone
Waiting… for some time
Waiting.. Waiting.. why?
Always waiting for things to ‘get better’
Time to ‘feel better’
Better has eluded me for 30 years now –
I think that 30 years is far too long to wait.
I just want to close my eyes and be gone.
Endless waiting vs. endless sleep?
I choose endless sleep
And just when you find a flicker of hope,
you realize all you saw, was a reflection in
the mirror, a glimmer now gone, so too is my resolve
Well, here i am, back again after a year or so. I left just after the lonelyplatypus incident, anyone find out if she was OK? Nice to see some of you still alive here, and I hope those that aren’t are in a happier place. To everyone else, hello, and it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintances.
I suck, I can’t make anything right. Why wait?
I think this has to be one of my favourite quotes (not of my own creation, but well-liked all the same).
Rather than believing in the typical meaning behind this quote that just because you grow older and ‘wiser’, it does not mean that you will also mature in body, mind and soul; I personally interpretated this quote, due to my own experiences etc., as saying that sometimes no matter how hard you try for a period of time – whether it’s a few days or a few years -, your mind will never change. I suppose this could be passed as ignorance but that is […]
Before you convince yourself that now is the time to leave this world and enter a whole new dimension of an unknown abyss, ask yourself these questions. (and feel free to answer them yourself in the comments):
What makes it so hard for you to stay?
What do you view suicide as?
How would you commit suicide?
On average, 6 people are intimately affected by the suicide of a friend, family member, etc.
Who do you think would miss you the most? (Can be more or less than 6 people.)
Why would those people miss you so much?
What is your favorite thing about your everyday life?
What are some […]
So I went to my first party, a friends party, after a long time of not going anywhere, socially that is. As I am at the party I meet two new people and they end up inviting me to a party they are having soon. After all of this I come home and look at my phone feeling like shit. Like, I had a wonderful time and now I just come home like, “Time to take off that mask!” I don’t know what it is keeping me from enjoying myself but I will force myself to that party, and I will fucking enjoy myself!
Time from a, burning flame
Got to start ’cause it won’t
Out of the, for the last
My Mother, through the vast space
Became my God-Mother
I love you forever, and I’m coming
Tonight, inside the congregation
This calling of befallen
That I do not know how to say
Through this balance of equilibrium
Echoes through what I
Enclosed never there somewhere
The binary
Oh man . . .
They both were, and they both wanted to
My new homies that I just made but now it’s
Mecton, I don’t know what the
But this push to give me of a stride
I’m going where I need […]
Of late i’ve felt as if i’m slowing down and time is speeding up. Every day i seem to take longer and longer to complete my daily tasks. Each day i feel as though my energy is diminishing. I’ve lurked on this site for a while, this is my first post here.
My first thoughts of suicide were when i was 14, i’m 24 now. A decade of wanting to die, wishing for it but never really acting on it. I’d keep coming up with plans and then never execute them. Will i ever do it? I don’t know. I feel like i’ve been here a […]
I have no reason to lie. I’m not a liar…never been good at it. I’m a good man. Everyone I’ve met I’ve helped and loved but I’ve been treated really really badly all my life. I’m 53 and from the moment I was born and my physically and psychologically violent father trashed me, to sexual abuse from another family member, to cancer at 17yrs old, to 3 near death experiences, to disability, to 8 abusive relationships (that totally broke me), to 3 suicide attempts, self harm and the list is actually over 50 separate life changing events I can no longer live. I’m broken now…I […]
I have to say good-bye to you,
of that,
i am quite sure.
But who do i become without you,
with a heart no longer pure?
No looks of disappointment
no smirks, or glaring eye
for you know, i always told you
when you leave, i always die.