I am fourteen years old. My father abondoned me as a child. I think of that a lot. why wasnt i enough for him. Why did he have to leave me? Also when i was a child i was raped. My family doesnt know and only one of my friends does. I deal with constant flashbacks. I see and hear things that arent there. i hear voices telling me to do things i dont want to do, to hurt others and myself. i see scary things and stupid things from monsters to birds. I am secretly gay and live in a catholic family in the […]
I’m okay with that. If I can make peace with that, why the hell can’t any of my family members stop bugging me about being single? I know I haven’t dated anyone since 2012, but judging how things went then, being alone isn’t so bad. It’s not that I haven’t gotten over the last girl I dated, I just don’t feel the need to have all of the drama I had last time. I’m going to die in a month, so why the fuck does it matter?
The only reason I’m ranting about this is that I am currently visiting some family and my dad couldn’t […]
Hi i need the best way to die, without pain. Please dont try to preach to me i dont have family/friends or anyone by my side so dont use that line on me. But please anyone asap i do not want to live for another week.
A few years ago, I was just entering middle school. It was a strange transition for everyone, I think. I remember looking around the classrooms and seeing how different people were.
For a while, it was just me. I was very shy and quiet, seemingly closed-off. I made a few friends during that year. We weren’t best friends but we were okay. You see, I moved around a bunch so making friends was difficult and made me feel awful because I just kept thinking that I’d move and never see them again.
I used to bring lunch and eat it in the school cafeteria; it was very […]
From the womb you latched onto my fucking consciousness and never let me go. You injected your venom into my veins and attracted all my perpetrators and literal traitors from friends to the origin of my seed. You incited the deepest betrayal anyone could ever feel – most of all you inspired a betrayal and rejection of myself. Princess Dyana you are no princess to me. In fact you are a whore. A whore that sucked me dry before I breathed my first breath. I will never forgive you or let you go until you apologize for the eternal torment you caused my aching heart. […]
is being alive but wishing to die. To be in so much mental and emotional pain that life loses meaning. It’s sad to constantly expect the worst from people and feeling guilty when you’re wrong and realize that people can surprise you. We live in our own hells that we’ve created for ourselves so lost in our own pain that we can’t focus long enough to figure a way out. I am free of many pains that I thought I would never stop feeling. I care for myself in ways I couldn’t even dream of, this time I’m not just saying it. I have sadness […]
I think its time I plan my demise.
I have a lot of work ahead of me. I have told many people that I am in fact planning to apply to grad school but in actuality I can’t imagine living another year. I think I would like to take my life on the day I told people that I would be applying. It wouldn’t look like I was planning anything but a happy fruitful impossible life and helps me keep up the illusion that I am able to function on a day to day basis as a typical human.
Enough hoping for my demise to come to […]
I’m scared because the only thing that has kept me from going over the edge are my boys and it seems lately that isn’t enough. I know those feelings are selfish and they make me feel like a horrible person and mother. Which just pushes me further to edge. I’ve tried to talk to a friend and I just keep being told that I’m fine, maybe I’m PMSing. I can’t find anyone to talk to me seriously and I’m afraid that if I talk to a doctor they’ll take my kids away. I don’t want to die but I can’t live like this.
I have a lot of things that run through my mind. Things I can not explain. My dreams haunt me. My goals are just false hopes. My life is a mess. I hate my life even though, I know others have it worse. This makes me feel guilty. The guilt I have always lived with. The hate as well. I find no point in life. I want to die. I say I’m not scared but I’m scared shitless. I don’t want to go but I do. I’m scared cause after death there is nothing. […]
I’m 19, asexual, but lonely. I try to help people. I’ve lost many of my friends recently, and the others haved moved away. I’ve had depression for several years know, and I’m starting to get weak. My friend who lives with me is getting a girlfriend, so I’m going to lose him to. Despite being asexual I have very stong feelings for this friend, and really don’t want this to happen. I know I probaly sound selfish, but I can’t take the loss of someone else… More and more the idea of killing myself comes up in my mind, and more and more….I want to […]
It is not so much that I want to die, it is that I have no will to live. I should feel very blessed with everything that I have in my life. I have an excellent job and live in a beautiful home that I built with my own two hands. I achieved a lot of success by the time I was 25. My problem is that I now no longer have a purpose to live. With no purpose, what is the point? I am so alone and depressed all the time. I feel like I am taking up space on this earth that is […]
how can I freaking die without struggling? That is the question! I been living in hell since my first memories. I been blitzed since 7 am but I know I am sobering up. I wanted to die since I was a child. How can I do it painlessly? Can someone help me please?
I’m here because I don’t want to die. I want to believe that I have something to offer this world, and that my current suffering will lead to a day where I can turn it around and use it to help others. Thing is, I’ve been depressed my whole life. I feel like from the moment I was born, I was given a cluster of psychiatric diagnoses instead of a personality. I was a problem to be solved, not a person to be loved. I was not human; I was merely human labels. Autism at first, because I’d rock endlessly in place. Then bipolar, because […]
I just want to die today I’ve been hit with the most painful
Feelings, I can’t keep this up, I can’t keep feeling life is not going to get better. I would prefer to be dead. I can’t eat barely sleep, I’m so distressed I did yoga before and all I could think about was please let me end this. I’ve got no stability , no security, an addiction, one that won’t leave its grasps. I know the reason why I want to die is because of the addiction. But I have tried hundred of times to give up, I’ve been to countless rehabs , […]
Empty
-But I bleed
Hollow
-But I hurt
Lonely
-But I want
Dead
-But I breathe
Scream
-But I cry
Alive
-I want to die
Here is the link to my recent post:
My head is much calmer now. Yesterday (Sunday for me) was the culmination of a week of total hell. I really felt like I was loosing my mind.
Many of you know I am a person of faith and that the propaganda of the fundamentalist tradition I was raised in, often plays havoc with my psyche. I now worship in a very inclusive and nonjudgmental faith tradition. As I have asked in the past, please do not disrespect me regarding this. I would NEVER do that to you.
So what happened yesterday? First of all, I […]
I know a part of it is lack of latitude, perspective, and maturity…another mitigating factor is the plethora of uncouth unkempt destructive and fickle hormones that run rampant and unchecked in rare form, throughout all the winters that reign year(s) in and through all the days of precocious and ironically facetious youth thru the ides of March until age20 comes to pass…..but how much, and towards what end, does the state of the world, internationally and locally weigh in this….if this is a cumbersome and poorly written, it’s bc it’s written in stream of consciousness style. It’s a writing exercise used by writers to hone their […]
I am over living. I feel empty. I see other people smiling and being happy and I feel nothing. I feel like ending my life and disappearing. The only things i feel is sadness and pain. My family is threatening me if I don’t stop cutting they are sending me back to the hospital. I know they are trying to help but I like being sad and I like cutting. I have only felt sadness and pain and I am afraid if I keep living I am going to kill who I am because just being alive hurts. I want to be me when I […]
Maybe I’m Satan haha fuck you cowardly motherfuckers my rage is infinite my rage is beautiful uggg I will off others before I off myself this side wants that wants to make so many cowardly heartless deservant people to die first the other side wants to save them from me fuck that side
I’ve been thinking lately about life, I have accepted that everyone dies and I shall too at one point. For me personally I have no reason to go on, I do not hate myself but I do know that I have no ultimate goal in life or any real ties to anyone that I feel are important to me enough to the point that I care how they would feel if I was to die. Basically I’m wondering if anyone could give me some advice as to how to find a purpose in life that could keep me going because right now I just feel […]