I’ve been depressed for a while, and it’s been an up and down thing. Lately, I’ve been extremely stressed, and I’ve been on edge,. My boyfriend is depressive and schizophrenic and has been on edge along with most of the people in my environment. Long story short, after a few sequences of inconvenient events, I’ve decided I want to kill myself. And not in a sporatic depressive episode, but in a more organized form. The only thing holding me back is that I was told that If I killed myself, my other would too and I couldn’t stand that. Although it on occasion becomes my […]
I have done many substances in my short 22 years on this planet , overdosing several time. From coke to pills , but by far the easiest was heroin.
my friend shot me with a huge dose and I immediatley lost all connection with reality. I could not feel my body I could hardly see , I couldn’t hear or taste . My senses were literally taken from in an instant. You would think this sensation would he scary but thankfully I remained somewhat oblivious to my state. Looking at the panicked expression on my friends faces. My conscious was pushed to the back of my […]
I believe i married the wrong boy. I hate his fucking guts. He is such an asswhole with no regard for anyones feelings but his own. I want to leave him but im stuck. only other option is to die kill myself leaving behind a beautiful baby. Why stay with him is the question i ask myself. I fucking hate this guy. Stupid dick. I wish i had the balls eboygh to completely exit frim this shitty earth. Buuuuuut no im a big fat scardy cat. This is bullshit.
Everything that can be wrong with a person, is wrong with me. I’m a negative, bitter, asshole, shit-talking, coward piece of shit. I fucking hate myself. I dream of the day I die. I’d kill myself now but I’m the only child, I can’t do that to my parents. I’m a pathetic, lazy ***** that never learned to develop work ethic. I’m useless as fuck. People look at me like I’m an outcast. That awkward weirdo. I have no friends left, I’m lonely as fuck. I want to die so bad.
I am so upset at a friend. I am upset with me more. I am estranged from another friend. We’ve had a long time conflict and she does not listen to me. I finally have cut ties- almost formally. I mean, we talked and she said one thing- no I won’t talk about it. Okay. I can’t accept it but what can I do? Nothing.
THIS is what my depression is. I am estranged from my mother and father. I live far away from everyone. I am tired. I want to GO! BUT…
But I don’t want to die feeling this. I don’t want my last feeling […]
I don’t know if anyone will even read all of this and offer some viable help for me to end my suffering. Please I’m not looking for a lecture to the values of life and what not. Also what remains of my once dysfunctional family is chipped away to only my very elderly judgmental mother and me, we are barely in touch, we didn’t even talk at my dad’s funeral. I just need advise to exit in a dignified and painless way.
I was an intelligent kid with a high IQ and EQ. Born in Asia and sent to university in NA by age of 15. […]
but its just so hard….. I suffer from manic depression and existential anxiety. two days ago, I stood by a main road and contemplated jumping in front of a car. my mind told me that I wanted to die, but it also told me that I might die, and I was afraid. my father ran to me and pulled me away. my mom is mainly the reason… she hits me and tells me im worthless. I don’t tell the authorities because every time I try my mom says that she know how to hit me in ways that wont leave a mark and that they […]
I recently formed new bonds with people in my life. It was a byproduct of someone giving me a helping hand, offering a new life in a new place. I have been dealing with the same garbage for years, and this was the reason I wanted to die just a few months ago. I was deluded enough to think things could change, that all I needed was a little therapy, and a change of environment.
My mind is obviously still a cluttered mess after the big changes; I haven’t put any real work in. I no longer have an interest in changing or doing the work […]
Sweet love that I held so close
The hand I held and needed most
The lips I kissed so many times
Oh love never were you mine
For a split second you let me believe
That I had you back and you’d never leave
I guess I was just the easiest to convince
But I haven’t stopped hurting since..
Oh love I know I’m easy to forget
But I’m so sure you were ‘it’
That person for whom I would give my life
But instead […]
This was going to be a comment… somewhere… But it got promoted to a post.
I think a future where society has dissolved the taboo that one should /not/ have control over their own life, is a great and wondrous one. I would argue control over ones life is a cornerstone of freedom, and without that basic right, we are oppressed.
The natural order is to die from disease, not from old age. Today life expectancy has doubled *worldwide* since the 1900s. So, It seems we are just entering the era of death from old age (if 70 is old). Still it is almost always from illness […]
For a while now I fight with myself and his voice. The voice that says I love you in one breathe and “whats the survival rate of melanoma” the next. Your such a great mom to our daughters but I’m gonna go ahead and keep them from you because I’m an a hole and I can. For years I have felt the only way to get away truly from this man is to die. The thought doesn’t even phase me because I know how real my feelings are and the truth it holds. Either live a living hell every day with this man telling […]
I go for walks every night at around 11-12 hoping that ill be the next murder victim or poor person in that hit and run you see on the news, i do this because i do want to die but i don’t want the people around me to have to deal with the thought that i committed suicide and there to blame for not making my life better, even though some of them are in fact to blame, I don’t like the thought of moving my problem so i want to die in a way that they know there was nothing they could have done about it […]
I would find it hard for anyone to answer that question with a definitive no. Some thing as small as a good:book, movie, meal, or drug, is enough to make you happy, even if only temporarily. I feel happy when I’m around people who laugh at my jokes, and when I’m able to help those closest to me. I’m also happy when I’m: high, drunk, fucking, and cutting, but that is more a happiness centered on the basest of pleasures. Lastly I would say I’m most happy when jamming on the piano or singing. I realize I have a lot more in my life than […]
When you express your will to die, all we get in response is the common “Dont do that you have so much to live for ” :It will get better” “There are people who love you” but I gunna say this plainly. It’s our choice, dont try to stop us….it’s our free will. “When things come falling down, we’ll do what we want to” -sws
I cannot put my pain into words. I can’t cry. I deal with it alone all day and late into the night. There used to be catharsis putting it into words. Not anymore. The only relief left is to die. I don’t want to die, especially not alone and painfully. But it is a choice between that, and enduring pain that I no longer have the strength to face. I have no hope, no dignity, no fight left.
Words, words, words. The counterfeit of action. More contemptible than the suicidal gesture done to illicit sympathy. I am doing the exact same thing, yet without having to […]
I was so happy yesterday. I had a drink with some friends and they were so surprised and happy to see me ok. I had a good time.
So I can’t understand why I woke up today wanting to die, and why all the problems seem so big that I’m afraid to even think about them.
Hi all,
I have been suffering from manic depression from decades and I am not gonna lie to you. It all started when my mum committed suicide in front of me and spiralled out of control when work stress gets me. I have had many suicidal attempts , no good at that. The medication i have been taking for decades dont work, i feel suicidal everyday, i turn up for work and put on a fake smile until one day, one of my juniors asked me if I were ok? Cover blown…
Of course i am not freaking ok, but i told him that i was fine, […]
I don’t necessarily want to die…but I hate my life. I can’t change it. I am a shitty person. I don’t know what to do. Is there any reason to live?
My classmate killed himself last week and this morning was his funeral. Many of our professors and classmates attended, specifically from our year. Some were saying he shot himself, others were saying he hanged, but it doesn’t matter since he succeeded. The thing about him is that he was the life of the party and was the popular one in school; he was not the one expected to pass away. Whereas here I am, the loner, and I was planning on being the one to die in our year. I would not be as much of a loss to anyone. If I knew he was […]
okay guys sorry for the bad spelling/typing. . . but im in a relationship and ive been going out with him for like 3 weeks now but ive always been suicidal and i dont know if i should brake up with him before i commit suicide or kinda leave it. im very happy with him but i just dont like the idea that i am alive, i know that is the probably the most stupid reason to die but there is a whole back story of why i am depressed and suicidal. i dont want to hurt him yet i still want to die because […]