I’m skipping college today, but I can’t bring myself to care. Everything is too much today, and I’m just starting to give up with it all. There were no appointments with my doctor again today. So today is obviously going to be fun. Death sounds so inviting, and I’m not sure how much longer I can avoid the inevitable.
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Holy fuck, where to start.
Today was weird. I just kind of went with it. I didn’t imagine that anything like today would happen ever again. You’re so much different than the last time. Each time I see you, you change a little bi more. You’re, different.
I can feel the positivity burst from you. Holy shit, overwhelming. We barely spoke but It wasn’t needed. We caught up with each other today. I hope that I don’t affect anything for you again. But I can’t promise something that I don’t know if I can keep.
You look a lot better than before, healthier. You present yourself totally different. […]
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a lot of things are going wrong but i can’t blame anyone but myself for all that. it’s amazing how close to peace i feel when i contemplate killing myself. “why not do it today?” is a thought that crosses my mind almost daily, today being no exception. i should just do it. get it over with. stop thinking so hard about plans and letters and waiting for a day when everyone’s out of the house. i don’t care anymore. why waste any more time? i should just do it today.
It’s my first day at my new job today. I curled my hair.
Let’s make this a monthly thing, anyone can start it.
Once a month, near the end of the month, let’s have “Tea time”.
Tea time is grabbing a cup of tea, coffee, water, soda, alcohol, simpily something to drink. (If you have nothing, that’s ok you don’t have to).
The rules will apply:
1) No hate.
2) No methods.
3) No partners (the same basic rules of SP).
4) No random blurts (you can have fun but be considerate).
5) No judgements.
6) Let each other express themselves freely.
7) Relax and share something about yourself.
This is a chance to talk in a group or one on one with someone. Discussions will follow with;
Suicide (doesn’t […]
I’m having a really good day.Today is my birthday and for the first time in forever, I feel a lot of love for myself. I’m not anxious today and I just feel content and pleased. But I was thinking about you guys here and I just wanted to let everyone know that I care about you guys and I love you guys. I write here when I’m the most sad, the most depressed, the most vulnerable. But I also want to write here when I’m happy. Thanks everyone for still being here – and for all the support here. <3
Lost my job. Got bills. Leg ulcer that is killing me. No family. No friends. Plus, I get the “bonus” of living in America which means that without money I will eventually become one of the walking dead on the streets. Love to live in this isolating, uncaring, self absorbed society. Opportunities abound!! As long as you have the money to pay for them!!
America only works for the managers and bosses who pay employees as little as they can to maximize their own profit. Heaven forbid they should want to share the wealth they made on the backs of the employees that actually made their […]
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My plan is kinda going to shit was meant to get more meds today and they didn’t put what I wanted in the bag maybe it was a mistake or maybe there on to my plan but it has pissed me off tho I feel much better knowing I have a method in place and when iv had enough I could try again but they are fucking with my plan here
I’m 97.3% sure my mum looked through my therapy diary. I’ve had to start writing about the voices until I next see my therapist, so I’ve been keeping it away from everyone. I specifically told her not to look in it and that’s it’s between me and my therapist.
However, she’s been acting weird around me today and out of the blue asks about the voices and if I’ve hurt myself again (I mentioned I did in the diary thing). The worst thing she could’ve done was look in it, because, although very brief descriptions, it has a basic summary of what they say. And they […]
Back to December by Taylor Swift, played on guitar for sportsballs. Wasn’t feeling piano today.. Maybe next time! Leave requests or comments if any 🙂 Ignore the many times i messed up in the video.. and the weird black spot like halfway through.. And the terrible quality.. I’ve had this phone for a while.. Night 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7S75URjiTiM&feature=youtu.be
I’m alone. If this website has taught me anything, it’s that I’m not alone. That pain, guilt, shame, anger and sorrow echo deep inside many of us at every moment of the day. That any moment can be our last or can be our turning point. I will keep struggling today because I know things always change. Often they change back and I’m left desiring the epic release of death but at least for a moment I know I might not feel that way. I’m not sure i’d say that moment is worth it but I have nothing else to look forward to.
I wish you […]
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15 hours left.
I didn’t sleep last night. I laid awake on a couch. I didn’t want to sleep. I was afraid to sleep. Now all I want to do is sleep as I get ready for that pointless test. I’ve realized. This is my last day on earth. Everything I do today is the last. From eating, to pretending like im going to be alive the next day. In about 2 hours I will be back to it. I might sleep for a while. I might stay up for the next 13 hours. I don’t know. I’m tired. I’m so tired. Not just in a […]
So, Friday I had a very embarrassing panic attack at the hospital. I fainted and was taked to the ER. I was discharged same day.
I couldn’t handle the pain anymore, so yesterday I took a bunch of my sleeping tablets and antidepressants. I woke up in hospital today. I’m on a hospital bed even now as I’m writing this, await a consultation with a psychiatrist.
I’m fucked. Why didn’t I just die?
Hey first time posting up here, never had the gutts to make a page. But that all changed today during second block in school. Don’t really no what to write, I guess inspiration needs to strike
My Heart And Other Black Holes is the book that led me to this site today… Last month I overdosed twice and ended up in hospital. I still want to die. I am scared. I don’t even know why I am posting this on here. I guess I am just getting my thoughts out.
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