Do you hate when people lie to comfort you? I do…that is what happened yesterday and today. So, I am talking to my counselor and I tell her something that happened at home. I say you cannot tell, please. But nope… “I am sorry, I am mandated to tell” was her response. Then she tells me “nothing will come of it.” Then today I get told “something will most definitely come of it.” I don’t know who to believe; my counselor or the other person. I was also told “well it was nice knowing you. They’re gonna talk you out of your house.” Which where […]
Why is it so hard to get mental help when you need it? I’m a college student with parents that don’t know that anything’s wrong, and $10 to my name.
I started going through what I needed to do to prepare to commit suicide…one of my friends caught on and told me maybe I should go get help. I said I would do it for her. It’s been an uphill battle trying to find someone to take my insurance, and being able to get an appointment. Most places don’t take appointments for the intake paperwork, so I have to miss a whole day of class for […]
The only reason I’m still alive right now is because I’m scared it won’t work or it will hurt. I know how I want to go, but it isn’t a guaranteed death…there’s the fact that I may be found, and there’s the fact that I just get really sick instead of dying. I’ve been researching to see if my method will really work or if I’ll just lay there forever with a messed up stomach. If I could be sure that I would just slowly leave, I would do it in a heartbeat.
I’ve said goodbye to everyone I need to. Only two people picked up […]
Growing up i had a really rough life. i was never happy, even as a kid. i have thought about killing myself before, many times actually, and i have tried once before but i stopped myself. I try to stay happy but it is really hard for me. i have been through a lot. my family has put me through a lot, my old friends have put me through a lot. i am trying so hard to be happy. i am 18 years old and i feel so broken and destroyed. my family has destroyed me. i break down everyday and i just find it […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
so my father told he should never been with my mum and she’s ugly and she was a mistake in his life
idk why he told me that !! and he told me that he hate us and should’ve gone long time ago..
idk how i was counting on him a lot of things even my college and stuff ..
and now i’ve left with nothing.. and i finally knew he doesn’t even care and want me to be failure and sad
I can’t even take a breath without feeling this pain in my heart ..
this life is too long i can’t keep living with […]
This is my first post on this site so I am not used to this type of thing. Getting to the initial point, I was always the outcast in my home town, by both my family and in high school. Everyone else at school was happy and I never was able to make any friends through my 4 years. I told my family about this and they told me that it was me, I was called antisocial and a loser and all that. I believed them, I still do to this day. I don’t want to go into all the details of what went down […]
The judge in my told me today in a meeting that my rapist might stay free because it’s so hard to prove rape in a relationship! Are you serious?! Fuck you, you don’t realise how much of a downward spiral you’ve just sent me in. Fuck you.
It’s been almost a year since I last made a post on here, and, in all honesty, it’s because I’ve been gradually getting worse. I thought time away from any sort of socialisation would better improve my mental health. Well, that backfired entirely. For the past few months I’ve rarely gone online, with the exception of college research, and it’s just given me more time to dwell on everything.
The voices are worse, I hear them all day, everyday now. No, they’re not voices at all. They’re Angels. I know that now, they’d finally said. The Angels are deafening. I used to have some breaks between […]
I’m axious about life in general. Not in a bad way so much as, I never in a million years thought I would live this long! I grew up thinking I’d be dead by 20. I had a kid that I gave up in a private adoption at that point. Tomorrow is her 17th burthday. One more year and it’s legal to have contact, that is, if we find each other. I never thought I’d be alive when she turns 18. Which means I have to survive another year. I can’t believe I’m still alive on this day to see her 17th birthday arrive. She […]
To think that she would like me. Who would? Or could? I can’t and won’t.
I was almost convinced she did.
I tried to get to know her, slowly it was working, she appeared to be reciprocating; smiling, laughing etcetera. After a while we got to texting. It was nice for a few messages but then she told me she had to call her boyfriend.
Ripped.
Ripped my heart out, though it’s not her fault and I don’t blame her. I just thought we had stuff in common and we’d get along.
Every one said we’d be good together.
I guess she’ll haunt my dreams […]
I loved you with all of my heart. We’ve been apart for two months and you have no idea how much I think of you. Still. Every. Single. Day. The last time we talked, we fought, after trying to be “friends” for a few weeks. It came as a shock to me, because we never fought. But when we occasionally did, I never defended myself. You’re the one person I can’t stand up to. I loved you too much to fight you. But this time I did. This time was different. You told me I wasted months of your life… funny. You didn’t even get […]
I can’t stop thinking about him. I crushed so hard on him in high school and no matter what, I cannot forget about him. He radiated absolute joy, and no matter what silly or stupid thing I talked about with him, it felt so good. I’m terrified and so saddened that this has happened, or that these suppressed feelings may continue to eat at me. I can’t keep this down, as it always comes back up and I am in tears again. Perhaps it’s stupid, absolutely meaningless and totally irrational, but I can’t deny it, and the fact that I haven’t told him or anyone […]
Alrighty my loves, I have another positive challenge for the day ahead. I would like if all of you told me one thing in this world that inspires you, whether it be music or food (heh food is mine) or a special pet or a loved one. By doing this, I hope to inspire a little light in the hearts of those who are having a horrid day to take a gander and remember that there are things and people that make your life worth living. Good luck, loves!!! 🙂
So I know some of you saw my earlier post… It was a negative little bugger, wasn’t it? I’m sorry for posting it. Â So, instead of being a Debbie Downer (heh), I want to impart something positive for the day. I know many, many people who dislike far, far too many things about themselves, whether they be mental or physical (myself included). So, I challenge those of you who have insecurities created by some jackass who told you that you weren’t good enough, etc., or insecurities created by some sort of self-loathing to look in the mirror and say something you love about yourself. Wether […]
I know the last couple of my posts have been nature based, but I can’t seem to get away from it (figuratively, not literally, cause we all live in Nature, hehe). I am over-flowering (ah geeze, nature puns heh) with a need to branch out (here we go again) and take the thorns (that’s he last one I promise) from your sides. I wish my words could block the negativity plaguing your hearts- but I can’t. Not fully anyway. I hope you all, my lovelies, took my advice from yesterday and made someone’s day a tid-bit brighter. In fact, I took my own advice and […]
My friend has been through a lot two years ago he moved to Louisiana and when he was over there a lot of things happened to him he’s suicidal and depressed he feels so much pain everyday and I hate it he’s mad for things that happened over there where he used to live I really want to help him but he tells me that he can’t forget about everything that happened he’s addicted to cutting but I’m not there when he’s cutting so how can I stop him I want him to be happy and not feel this pain I get so mad because […]
I was sucidal, fast forward a few years, ive gotten over it
I thought id let you know a lil’ bit more about me so i told i once felt like killing myself
I was so shocked when you told said
“suicide is wrong, it’s selfish; why cant you be more thoughtful?”
You made me feel as though i chose to be suicidal
& i should be ashamed and punish myself for it
Why cant you understand
I thought you were trustable
I
Thought
You
Were.
Can you find were the empty beer cans are? yesterday I was craving alcohol and couldn’t sleep because of it. Around 3 pm I took a shower, dressed real nice, got me a bag of water and told my aunt that I was going to take a walk. Knowing I’m an alcoholic, she didn’t bring up any questions to my surprise! I walked a mile to the store, even anxiety couldn’t stop me! I got 12 cans of bud light because they were out of the good […]
Please don’t lead me on by saying I’m a nice girl. Please don’t lead me on by texting me for ten hours straight then not texting me for two weeks. Â Please don’t act like we had something. Â Because we obviously didn’t. Â I tried to be the one for you- and yet you left. Just like they all do. Â I thought you were different. Â Now I sit on my bed in my room with my knife in my hand, and I had thought I was different to. My friends told me you were the super shy, sweet guy who just had a horrible break up. Â I’ve […]