I’m thinking about doing it tonight. I’ll probably be a coward like the last few times, so don’t worry too much. However, in case of being successful I want to wish you the best. You’re all great human beings who deserve to be happy.
I have a few hours to think about it. But I’m scared. I’m afraid of succeeding. But I’m also afraid of not being successful.
I understand that many people have it worse, but I feel hopeless. I’m young, too young for my experiences, but on the cusp of adulthood. I’m supposed to be planning for my future, but all I can plan for is a way to make it through the day.
My mother is bipolar, my father is dead, my sister is severely OCD, my half-sister is a manic-depressive bipolar manic paranoid hallucinogenic schizophrenic alcoholic with severe and violent anger problems. Her two children, as well as all the others listed, live in the same household as me.
Of course with all of these illnesses in bound to have some […]
Right now I’m thinking about all the people who screwed me over and how much I hate them.
anybody down for a movie and conversation tonight the room the movie will be played on is https://rabb.it/hiitsme0819 or you can hmu on skype @ hiitsme0819 or go to our main chatroom @ http://tinychat.com/thelostsociety
today is hopefully my last day in this world, i have money now so i can start to prepare everything and do it tonight after work. You are all great
It doesn’t matter if I kill myself tonight.
I’m destined for hell anyway.
I would just be trading hell on earth for hell in eternity
And I’ve no one to blame but myself
I had plenty of chances to do good
But I never gave a shit about anyone but myself
I feel very alone
I guess I’m not allowed to ask someone to join me in this journey on this site
I went out on a first date tonight. Which means I left my bed for the first time in a week. I’m not wanting a relationship and even though the guy and I are total opposites it was nice to get out of the house and have some fun. That’s a huge step for me. I seriously haven’t put on real clothes in months and rarely leave my house. Thank god for Chinese delivery. I feel weird coming home because while I did have fun all I wanted was to be back home in my bed with the iPad. It’s my safe place and no […]
Only the lonely know the way I feel tonight.
Hey guys, I know its been a while since I last updated . These past few weeks have been extremely rough on me. With drama with friends and my sorority ( It is a long story!), A highly overbearing work demand from my classes, try to figure out what I’m gonna do with my future when I graduate ( Which I honestly have no clue yet!),Found out its gonna be at least 3 weeks or even longer before I can even get an appointment with my university’s counselor ( I mean seriously i know theirs like a thousand and more kids at that school but […]
so my boyfriend is on a family camping trip and thus has no signal all week, my other friend is in Iceland seeing the northern lights, everyone else thinks I’m better. I have no one to talk to when I hit that dark darkness for all of half term, stuck in my bedroom all day and night studying and trying to stay sane. so I’m just going to type here like I have verbal diarrhoea. last night I had a panic attack and was paralyzed just lying on my floor, I couldn’t even drag myself into bed. the night before that I made myself a […]
The last few days have been the worst in a while. He doesn’t like my scars and said its a deal breaker if I cut again. he doesn’t like me smoking or drinking. he hates that suicide crosses my mind every day. ive been so depressed, and I am forbidden from using my coping strategies. I tied myself a noose last night, just in case. I held the blade against my skin and managed to resist slicing. I beat myself with a belt tonight to try and feel something again. He doesn’t like how skinny I am, even though ive put on 5lb for him […]
As I watched my husband walk out of the door, leaving my daughter crying for him to “take me with you” or “don’t go daddy” it hit me like a brick. I was that little girl. I cried for my daddy to stay….. My husband has worked for almost 3 weeks straight. Nights. Not by choice. But tonight, his first night off, he chose to go to a sporting event. My daughter’s heart was/is broken. She cried for an hour, I cried with her. Unable to comfort her because I was hurting too. I tried to explain to my husband but he just got mad […]
It was a beautiful midwestern night, the stars shining in the sky like they only do in the country. The weather outside is unpredictable, as it always is here. A night that almost shakes with opportunity. A poor boy shares the time with his best friend. This night she is working, but he’s there talking to her anyways. They chat as easily as they always have, but something’s different tonight.
I’m not sure she notices that so much has changed, the way I look at her, the way my heart’s beating of my chest just being near her. All the small things, oh Christ. Just […]
So I’ve been stepped up to “Home treatment” team. Which is laughable because the situation I’m in at the moment means no one can actually visit me at home, because it would actually cause more stress and end in too many questions (can’t really explain more than that).
They’ve basically said I can meet with the home team once they call me (should be tonight or tmro) and I’ll have access to the crisis house in my city if they feel it’s needed.
I just want to die. Its getting worse.
I’ve been honest with my partner they know I’m suicidal, they’ve said I should find something to […]
I just took way to many painkillers.
tonight is the night
When my family tells me to stand up for myself and when I do they tell me that I’m not choosing the right path. I swear these people can’t make up their mind. It’s my life and my choices. I am the one who has to live with them. I’m 18 years old and in college for heaven sakes -_- . I can make my own choices and do what the hell I feel like. Jesus. I’m so ready to get out of this fucking house. They think I won’t leave. Smh. The stress I’m in I’ll pack my shit and leave tonight..
I don’t […]
No, oh no, not what you think. This is just another sad girl who is going to complain about her relationship, so here goes it. My love and I have been together for years; high school sweethearts if you care to call us that. This kid knows how many attempts I have made to end my life; however, each time it seems to be another friend who picks me back up? The same thing happened tonight because of just all the bull that he promised and yet again didn’t own up to. He makes me feel like I am nothing, and when I get suicidal, […]
im meant to be drinking with a friend tonight and we’re meant to be taking Coke.. As bad as it sounds, I keep thinking of how easy it’ll be for me to od on it considering my heart problem and the alcohol intake. I feel that Overdosing is the only way to stop my pain, I don’t want to leave anyone but I can’t deal with the fact that I feel my heart breaking everyday over things that I couldn’t of avoided. Why should I be punished for loving the wrong human?
So I have always hated my birthday and it’s coming up next week. I see a lot of birthday posts on here and thought I’d add mine. For the first 15 years of my life I celebrated my birthday with the birthday of the man who was molesting me, we ate cake together, laughed, played and… other stuff. For the next 15 years I prayed for my own death and even attempted it with one serious attempt that left me with broken bones… BUT last year was good even though I struggled and this year even though I am struggling I think it will be […]
Just an update my car is uncomfortable it does not have good lumbar support lol I’m sleeping in a Parking garage I’m hungry my neck hurts I have no money and I have a continuous headache I took a shower at my gym because I have not yet lost my membership I spend my day going to different subways until they kick me the fuck out so I can use the wifi to look for shit jobs because my data is very low. I’m […]