I’m feeling very alone and very scared of how alone I’m feeling right now. I’m switching between meds and I guess the other havent kicked in yet because I’m a wreck. A large source of my depression is a feeling of responsibility for those around me and feelign like no matter how much I do I can’t do enough, do exactly the right thing, be good enough ect. I just broke up with my boyfriend a week ago because I told him I just couldn’t handl the responsibility or pressures of a relationship right now. He was very understanding at the time but is now […]
I’m in such a dark place right now. I hope maybe someone will be able to relate, and tell me I’m not alone. I’ve lost a friendship that was very valuable to me. Heartbreak, despair, despondence… this is my world right now.
Background: depression and suicidal thoughts (and attempts) since childhood; lengthy episodes of near-total isolation as an adult. A suicide attempt in my teens earned me a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder, and I’ve spent nearly 2 decades complying with treatment – medication, intermittent periods of therapy, consistent check-ups.
A couple decades in, and nothing is working. The isolation, depression, loneliness… they’re getting worse all the […]
I’ve been standing here for the last 20 minutes trying to get enough courage to step of the stupid chair, I want to leave so bad but I just can’t take this last step!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?!
I’m having a really rough time staying alive right now. Every moment is filled with anxiety and a wish for death.
I’m trying to hold out until my brother is out of jail at the end of the month. But this is getting more difficult by the day.
Does anyone have any tips on how to hang on for just a while longer?
Nah, will y’all quit worrying!
I’m too full of life to die just yet.
Have you noticed how seemingly every other poster here expresses the wish to ‘die in their sleep’?
Folks, it doesn’t work like that!
I find people tend to know me far better than I know myself.
And it’s not for the want of trying…
I just can’t make myself out.
This isn’t a bleeding poem. I f*****g hate poetry! Next time you wanna post something on here, make it goddamn prose!
I write like this to make it easy for you mentally challenged guys to understand lol.
I’ve got a new phone and it won’t connect to the Internet. My […]
Well I’m still around. Just want to post to encourage myself and maybe others to keep trying. Im not sure If Ive gotten any better over the last 8 months. A lot of meds, counselling and quitting addictions and I’m still suicidal.
When I was a kid, everything was fine. Life seemed to special and worth it but as I grew up, all of that faded. As things started going a different way then what I had planned, I began to see the reality of this world. I am nothing more than trillions and trillions of cells smashed together with emotions attached. As much as I’ve cried my eyes out wishing there was a “god” or ANYONE for that matter that would save me. things have only gotten worse. I wish I was ignorant like 90% of the world that thinks our existence is worth anything. You […]
to try to open up to her? Like seriously, I asked her about it, but she had no interest at all to talk about it. “I don’t want to talk it.” I hate you, whoever told me to do this 🙁 She was nice about it though. She wasn’t upset or rude or anything, I guess she just thinks I’m not the person to talk to about stuff like that.
Btw, I asked our running instructor for her email, and she emailed me her skype account and we chatted a few times over the last few weeks. I have no idea how she thinks about me, […]
So, I’m broke. Lonely. Celibate, and plan to stay that way. I’ve been trying to find ways that I can make money. I haven’t worked in 8 years. I just turned 27. Are there short pudgy exotic dancers? Cuz that might be kinda fun, but I’m not skinny. I like dressing up, and I like it when guys look at me and wish they could have me. It’s flattering. But given that my body type isn’t “Barbie”, I’m just wondering if there’s any possibility in this career choice.
Thoughts? Suggestions?
I am so beyond lowest of low points that I have given up on everything. I couldnt be bothered showering, brushing my teeth, washing clothes even eating. I don’t sleep one day just so I can sleep through the next. I am in immense pain from my back and my rotting teeth.
I once cared so much about my health and my appearance. Where did it go wrong?
Finally my doctor is listening to me & trying to help. Why now after nearly a year of seeing him, telling him my troubles, what I want to do, does he now want to do something?
I made my very […]
Is it wrong to resent the people who told the law enforcement and children services that I was lying about all the things my mothers boyfriend did to me… Even if they’re family?… I know it’s been yrs since it’s happened but with all my flashbacks I’m still trying to figure things out.. I’m so confused about everything.. I’ve been trying to make since of everything all day and I’m only spinning in circles. Sorry for ranting on…
Well I haven’t posted on here because I thought life was getting better but I saw I was living for others intead of myself and that I’m alone i feel all broken and weak so now I’m trying to find myself and what I want do because I have to decide which college I am going apply to by December and hopefully I survive my last year of pre med ( if I go back)
Recovery has been hard but I have been clean for almost two years , no drinking no cutting and actually eating so I’m somewhat proud of myself
In conclusion this […]
After so many years, probably 8, I really can’t believe things will get better. The joy I used to have is gone. I just get through my days. I can’t picture how it will ever get better. And it’s not for lack of trying. I try so hard. I keep trying new ways to feel better. Everyone thinks I’ve got it all together. But every day, I think about how much easier it would be to not keep trying. I can’t imagine I could do this life for 40 more years. And I’m well aware that a lot of people have it worse off than […]
F life, F this world, F people, F everything.
I’m 23/female – Born with the name “jamie-ann”
I catch myself in these dazes often now,
I think about how I want to Kill myself,
how much will it hurt? who would really feel “loss”
I run from all my problems instead of talking to others about them
because why let them inside right?
I left my husband because I could no longer find the joy in seeing him
walk through the door after work, this illness is destroying my life
and quiet frankly i’m not even sure if it’s a life anymore.
this is day 5 of being in bed, i’m pretty sure I was fired from my […]
its been a few months since iv been on! but is it wrong for one person love 2 ppl at the same time?
iv been in love with my ex for almost a year now. but iv cut all connections with him. cuz he leads me on and ditches me all the time
but there is something i get over him.
and the guy I’m with currently treats me like a queen.
but my ex has saved my life from my trying to kill myself but then he always makes me want to do it.
almost a year ago i got raped
so many ppl […]
Well, that could almost be the story of my life.
But I’ve never been much of a drug addict.
I’ve taken a lot of crap from people and kept my mouth shut.
Now I want to take some shit to shut up the crap in my head (see what I did there?)
The stuff is called N, it comes in powdered form, it was not purchased for this purpose.
I get unbelievably lonely and bored as I don’t have a job or many mates to hang with.
I’m like the 60’s housewife popping pills to get through her day.
I need to man (woman?) up and do stuff with my life, but […]
I watched the sun go down today
And I felt a surge of tears
With a sense of desolation
I was overwhelmed with fears
I saw my hope on the horizon
And I saw it fade away
With desperation I tried to believe
That there would be another day
And then suddenly I realized
That my hope was still there
It was just clouded over
With my feelings of despair
Then I began to wonder
Why am I still here
And in my own self doubt I saw
The creation of all my fear
In order to see the sun come up
I would have to search and find
I keep trying and nothing is ever good enough for anyone. I give him everything he wants, do whatever he tells me but that’s not enough. I just want to be done…with everything.
Out of all my friends I am one of the most suicidal unfortunately.
When I admitted to The clinic, my closest friend had already been in here for a month prior due to an Eating Disorder.
When I’d get severely down she’d always say “we can do it together” I always said “no. I refuse to drag you down with me” and I meant it. Jess doesn’t actually want to die, she has an ED that wrecks her life but I can see hope for her. She’d been well once, she can be well again.
And then I met Britt. Both these girls were so much […]