I am so sick of the lies in my life and the false hope that people keep feeding my already dead heart. Nothing is worth going down the endless road of life anymore. None of my friends talk to me anymore, they are just too busy to care about how I am doing anymore. I have so many issues with my health and head that no one should ever be able to love me or ever want to risk loving me. There are 7 billion other people in the world who are better off without me and the world doesn’t need my useless self taking up any space […]
Tag:
used
It seems many of us, men, here at SP struggle or have struggled with problems related to the opposite sex, messed up relationships, stalkig exes, or like me years of constant rejection, being friendzoned, women mistaking kindness for weakness and taking advantage of it and walking over us.
And you know what?
I’m 27  and i dont know why or how but about 3/4 years ago a sudden changed occurred …. i just stoped bothering with it at all, suddenly i dont care if women notice me or not, i walk by a gorgeous woman on the street with the same indiferrence that i walk by a […]
I’ve been reading recent posts and think it’s a very positive thing that you make new year antecipations and resolutions. it means deep down you still have at leats a tiny shred of hope.
Lately i find myself living day by day and dreading the future, which for some who used to think far ahead makes me unrecongnisable for myself.
Keep up the good hopes đ
Ive ditched cutting some time back but now ive picked up smoking haha. Well if its not one thing its another. Ive racked up some things to put me on the naughty list and while others are concerned how im going to handle them i find myself not really caring anymore. Even worse ive gotten into the habit of being a real clutz. At first it was just on accident but now they happen more frequently. I end up with scrapes, cuts and bruises that linger for a long time…but i kinda dont mind? Especially when cooking i used to be real careful but ive […]
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I’m 30 now and still can’t Forget my father spanking me, pointing the gun to my mom’s head. My older brother and sister hitting me and hurting me, and other kids making fun of me at school. They hurt me so many times and then they ran away soon and I had to grow up as an only son. I cannot forget that I could not sleep quietly because he threatened so many times of starting a fire on our house and on me and my mom in the Middle of  the night and Kill us both and himself right after. I can’t just erase […]
i dont know if i can go on anymore i practically cry myself to sleep every night , i do nothing throught the day but watch tv or think about how i used 2 get high. idk what to do i see nothing changing anytime soon i just want the pain of living 2 go away its said when you have a better life dreaming then reality.
There is only emptiness today. I am not angry or sad, happy or even bored. At 2:17p.m. I realized I had been staring out the window for almost 4 hours. Where had the time gone? I couldnât even tell you what I had been watching for so long. Were there people walking by? Was it raining out? My mind felt like it had been excavated. Everything of value, even the darkness I clung to – gone, all gone. Was this what death was? Only relics remain, echoes of a person that is trapped deep within me. There are hints all around me. My hands, they are stained with blue […]
Its not suicide I’m scared of, its what might happen if I don’t succeed.
What would my mother do? Would she pretend that it didn’t happen just like when she found out I had hurt myself a few years back? Would she disown me? Or would she be there for me and get me professional help?
What would my friends do? Would they call me an attention whore? Would they completely bail on me? Or would they stay with me and help me?
And school. What would happen with school? Would I get looked down upon my all of my teachers? Would they not take any notice at the fact that […]
I got Fallout 4. I have had it for 4 days now and haven’t played it. I haven’t watched a new movie in … wow I don’t even remember the last movie I watched. Must have been well over a year ago. I have no interest in anything anymore. I did some research and found that it is one of the many symptoms of depression that I definitely have. I will spend an entire weekend doing nothing and then hate myself on monday for wasting it. Anyone else suffering from a complete lack of interest in things you used to be passionate about?
a person. i used to be someone i liked and admired.not anymore. i m empty, i m a shell, i m a body on autopilot, i m a shadow of an old me. that kills me…i cannot go on without myself.there s no point to the misery, the agony,the pain, the craving for myself.i ve lost all that mattered.my dream consumed me and sometimes there s no other poison like a dream,and that poison killed me. also..there s no other drug to a person than another person…fact!
don t cry because i m gone, smile because i was here.
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I feel like I don’t really feel anything anymore .
i used to be sad a lot and cry but now I feel nothing .
i don’t really feel excitement, happiness, sadness.
nothing.
i kind of do not care anymore .
I feel worthless and pointless.
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I’ve tried to die three separate times and needless to say, I’m still here. It seems like my pain has gotten worse this year. I truly feel like I’ve been cursed. I don’t trust ANYONE cause I’ve been used time and time again. It seems like the people that cause hurt and pain don’t suffer. I just can’t do anything right. No one cares or understands. Not looking for pity I just want to escape.
I hate my relationship I guess. I would not call it that. but being around him makes me hate my life. he wont leave. He lives with me because other wise he would be homeless. I cannot get a piece of mind. When I was homeless I still had to support him even though he was an ungrateful ass. I just want him gone I do not know what to do I feel like an emptied out shell. I want to die. I feel trapped in my own home. I have four jobs just so I do not have to be here with him. I […]
can love turns to hate at some point .!
I want to talk clearly about my boyfriend ..
I believe that he really loved me from the depth of his heart
I will not lie to you .. I did so wrong things to him ,, I cheated on him so many times , and I used him as my slave for a whole three years .. all this time he was okay and never said a word
but once we had a sex on skype
and he got a pic of that thing and he started threaten me with it … when I told […]
Today, for some reason, I could not stop thinking of her. I thought about her throughout the day as always, but when I got home, I napped and dreamed about her. After my nap the thought only got stronger. All I know is, I am never going to have her again the way we used to be… I’ll never forget when she told me, “…things aren’t going to be the way they used to be…” As much as I knew that was true, I didn’t want it to be. I wanted things to be the way they used to be but I ruined it. I […]
: to be honest i simply have grown tired of life…. I was hoping that by doing this the right way I would grow stronger … strong enough so that even I wouldn’t have to talk to anyone about the burning inside my soul. the inadequacy that I feel every time I walk into room. The shadow that I cast at dusk… It is a large shadow. It is painted with my suffering and misdeeds. I am truly a monstrosity. I am unworthy to live. and yet… many keep telling me that God wants me alive. that I ought to keep striving to survive , […]
She was one of the most beautiful faces i have ever seen. Its not like i haven’t seen her before. Me, her brother and she, we used to play together, when she used to live near our house. But they moved to a place near my grandma’s. That day when i was visiting my grandmas, i saw her after a long time and just got a feeling as if my heart is feeling suffocated and as if trying to beat, every beat felt like a beat of drum in my ear. I felt as if something was holding my heart and pulling it towards my […]