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It’s that time of night again, when I am wide awake and all the rest of you are asleep.
SP is so quiet I can hear the sound of my disturbing thoughts rattling around like a tin can in a dark alley. The alley everyone knows you need to stay away from if you value your safety.
So many of us have been gone lately.
I miss AlanOminous, I miss ToTrees, I miss Mf.
I miss those of us who have gone, possibly gone forever.
And […]
Here’s me with my parents a few months after I was born. Dad was 24, Mum 22. They died 18 months apart (2002/2003) both were only 61 years old. They always said “when we retire we’ll…….”
I sometimes think that if there was such a thing as the devil and I would make a deal with him/her. I would have them back and allow them to have the retirement they deserved. I don’t value my soul that highly anyway, so no loss to me.
Well the thought of Valentines doesn’t really bother me due to the fact that it really is a celebration of how people feel towards one another, and a scam from big companies. But either way knowing that people can feel that strongly about each other and that when i find someone that i value as a significant other, that i can celebrate Valentine’s as well.
Either way no one would value me that way that i would for them. I am just so stupid. I am failing high school and the fact that that doesn’t really bother me, scares me. My father has leukemia and […]
I read a lot of things about natural selection and how people value beauty over substance. I started thinking – I’m gonna do my own research! So I went on YouTube and looked people who was crying out for help, mainly those ones who use flash cards. The “attractive” ones got all kinds of support and sympathy while the “overweight” and what society views as “unattractive” got mocked and made fun of, even if there issues where more serious. It’s sad! Empathy being induced in the human mind based on physical attraction…….another example of the insane majority.
I just stumbled upon that term today. I read up on nihilism before but Existential Nihilism basically holds that life does not have any real meaning or value. I started looking up nihilism when my aunt accused me of being one. When I read about it, it seems to follow my thought process. I see it as more of a neurologically built in philosophy
Most people seem to value life all the way down to the stem cell and beating heart. As long as your brain stem is intact (as in the cases of Terri Shiavo and Bobby Kristina Brown) people seem to think that the “life” has value, even though they are in a persistent vegetative state. they must be keep alive at all cost our CULTrue says. Even when end of life “care” happens, also in the case of Terri Shiavo, instead of just injecting them with something you can give a dog when you put them down, they just leave them starving to death for 10 […]
13 more days until my 60th birthday. I’ll be in San Francisco, visiting the GGB……I wonder………my heart function continues to deteriorate. There is no way the govt would put me high on a list for a transplant since I am on disability (little to no value to the US Govt). If I decide not to jump, I think I may just stop taking my heart meds and let nature take its course. I still have a nice little inheritance to blow on travel.
What do you guys think?
I’m 22 years old and have a year left in college…I don’t really have any close friends and had a tough break up recently. I cry a lot because I’m depressed and lonely I guess and have thoughts that I’m awful and unworthy all the time and a feeling that there’s nothing I can do to change it. I try to be passionate about my artwork but have begun to question whether that has any meaning or value whatsoever. I used to get enjoyment from that but for some reason I’ve been stuck thinking that it’s wrong to be passionate about something that doesn’t involve […]
I’m not feeling very strong today. I want to say so much but who cares enough to listen? And what does it matter anyway? I don’t know how to give my feelings any value anymore. I’m going to try this to see if it helps but in my mind I think I have already made the decision to end my life. There is just too much hatred and shame and I’m tired of all the wanting I have. To many needs never able to be satisfied. This is going to take time to write out so I will start with something short. This.
Maybe this will […]
I survived a rather serious attempt on my own life almost exactly 15 years ago. To be honest, there have been a lot of times since that I have felt truly sorry I failed. Unfortunately, it seems like this is more and more the case.
At any rate, I thought I would try to participate in this community a bit. If you are reading this, you are already probably aware that “normal” people don’t understand what this is like. Indeed, they freak out. Maybe there will be […]
I have suffered from depression and anxiety for many years now. I usually never thought of my current situation as being that depressing though. I’m on active duty and my duty station of the last 2.5 years has been the worst, but in the last year I felt like I made the most of it.
Yet, earlier this week, I realized that I do not value life. I don’t value mine. I don’t necessarily de-value the lives of others (I’m NOT homicidal) but the idea of losing people no longer fazes me. I’m really numb to grieving at this point.
My life is not upwardly mobile. I […]
For so many years now I have relied on simple pleasures. To help me to get through a day, there is coffee, music, aromatherapy, chocolate, a walk in nature, a refreshing bath…but nothing has long term efficacy. There is some therapeutic value in so many things, but it is not always feasible to rely on a multitude of pleasant distractions each day.
The trouble with this approach is, of course, that these simple pleasures afford me a measure of temporary relief but they do not cure me, though their influence is healing.
When I was on medication the side effects kept me awake and now that I’ve been drug-free for the past half year it’s pure torment that’s keeping me awake. All day I struggle to focus on anything then I crawl into bed and I ruminate over every single thing that’s happened and experience panic attacks over all the things I can’t change. I wonder why I stick around, I’m a useless piece of shit and should have ended my life a long time ago. I don’t know why I wait for some miracle. I have nothing of value.
life is full of surprises right and i have faith in it too but i dont get it why im being so impatient. there are things which i let go of and trust me i never had any regrets but these days it is different story, Â i always value my principles and morals and always used to think that if people come to me because they think im someone who have power and money they are not sincere. BUT lol due to this i have been isolated by my family they dont value me anymore they only pity me and that is quite upsetting i […]
For a while, i’ve thought this site might be useful. Sure, some of it can get repetitive, but it’s good for people to hear themselves, and get a candid response, not matter how juvenile. Now, I’m mot so sure.
I know wonder if it is monitored by some victimy-undergratuates looking to validate their projections. I spent a couple of hours last night responding to someone. It was my hope this individual might get a chance to read it when they awoke in their time zone.To me it was genuine and heart felt and did not contain *any* of the heated […]
far out.
the world is an incredible place.
how funny that we can value something like life so much when its so temporary.
i value my life with everything.
i value the history and the future, and the morning and the night, the water and the sun and snow, and the food and the sounds; i value everything that will inevitably end. if your in a relationship and you find out that it will come to a tragic end, you’d get the fuck out, save yourself the heartache right? but thats everything. every person you love you’ll loose; there all just temporary components of the illusion that is your […]
It seems all virtues are for strong. when you are strong or have power you can choose whether to forgive or punish, but what can you choose when you’re weak? how can you show your virtue when you’re not allowed to choose itself? then it all turns into mere consolation. Is there anything like ‘intrinsic value’?
I’ve ran out of patience with trying to figure out my “life purpose”
I may be in a better emotional state than I was in late 2011 and the first half of 2012, yet that isn’t enough to make me value life
when I look back, life hasn’t been very enjoyable since mid 2010 and it’s time to put an end to this farce
my only regret: among all the people who say (believe) they care about me, not one would be willing to help me in any way to leave this prison
DON’T BE FOOLED: people value their feelings more then they value your well-being … yet they […]
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This is what I read upon arrival. Is this a joke? Don’t post hateful things? THATS WHAT SUICIDAL PEOPLE DO! It’s MY life and I hate it and everything it stands for and everything it might stand for because others always think they have the right to tell me what to do then they turn and hightail it through their brainwashed cerebral psyche feeling proud that they stuck their nose into my business then run me up the […]
She died… My sweetie, my friend. I loved her so much, just to have her around. Just the noise she maked, so I didn’t felt lonely. Just her presence. That I could talk to her whenever I needed, and she always listened. That I could hug her whenever I wanted, and she would just look at me with those little, cute and sweet eyes. She meaned so much to me, but now she is gone… She was so strong and she fought till the last second. I knew she wouldn’t live very long, but this was just too soon. I needed her in these hard […]
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