I am too fucking old to go through losing my home and going down the ghetto life’s road with welfare, being homeless and all that shit. I’ve done this too many times. In the last week I’ve lost my job of over ten years, crashed my car and lost my medical insurance. Believe it or not the loss of medical coverage is the most devastating. COBRA costs almost $1000 a month to continue my coverage – not a viable option without a job. So now I sit, waiting for my medications to run out and decisions on unemployment insurance, O’ Blotto Care and the like. […]
Tag:
wall
Mirror mirror on the wall
Please tell me who I’m looking for
Mirror mirror on the wall
Why do you allow my reflection let me fall
Mirror mirror on the wall
I cannot tell how old or young I am anymore
Mirror mirror on the wall
Your making me sad when I see you evermore
I cannot look in mirrors any longer
With mirrors around there’s no hope of me getting stronger
I delude myself but covering the truth when I look in them
With the help of lies that substances bring whence in my system
Though I am always stuck; are mirrors the illusions?
Or is […]
Today as I got up for school, my mother came into my room.. telling me if I don’t go to school she’s going to kick me out of the house .. I’m only 16, I can’t drive, I don’t have a job, and I have no friends .. As I finished getting ready for school my mother tells me she mad me breakfast. I informed her I wasn’t hungry, she thew the food In the hallway, shoved me against the wall and repeatedly pushed me, therefore we moved into the kitchen. I told her I wasn’t riding with her, she grabbed me by my arm […]
I give up on everything. I don’t see the point anymore.
Mirror mirror on the wall
Why are u lying to me ?
That’s not me , that reflection
Why are u only show things that I wanna see
Im ugly Fat And unworthy
And there is nothing that I like about me
My boyfriend said im pretty
But I doubt it cuz he hates me
He hit me when Im sad n gloomy
He yell and cuss , makes me feel unworthy
Family ignored me
Friends walk away from me
All I have is me but
there is nothing that I can like about me anymore
The hatred that I have for myself is infinity
You know when I was depressed I always had this thought.
I always had this dream, this expectation, this thought.
That a person would come into my life and pick up my broken pieces.
That someone would help me off the ground and get me walking again.
Someone would wipe away my tears and dust me off and hold my hand.
That a human being would sit down with me and just hug me.
That someone would help me calm down and stop me from punching the wall and bruising myself.
Well guess what.
I’m fine now.
I am recovered and still recovering.
No one […]
Getting out of bed is the hardest thing to do. It would be so much easier if I just didn’t wake up. I feel extremely alone and nothing anybody says helps. Sometimes I stop what I’m doing and I just stare at the wall and I feel completely numb. I feel like I’m not really here. When I tell people I suffer from depression, anxiety, and bi-polar disorder they just stare at me. Many tell me to simply “get over it”. I can’t explain how mad that makes me. People nowadays are not informed at all and they think that it’s easy to just “get […]
Till this day I cry when I get touched there.Thats how fucked I am,thank you cousin.
written by lifeishorrible
Last week I went to the city jail for traffics that I thought somehow vanished.I was pissed cause I was acting all cocky when they pulled up.I was like why are y’all here were not doing anything here.They asked for my name,I gave It to them In anger,a minute later I’m being handcuffed & they told me I had nine traffic ticket warrents.I was In a shitty mode cause I was finally getting better & this shit happens so Is felt like shit on the way there.When I get there they started to search me and then he put his hands there!!I moved & said […]
don’ take the things I say personally. I’m just creative writing, in general.
wat up. wat up. wat up. it took a bomb to crack the wall open.
on the other side, do you know? I wish that I could………..
ponder. I need to heal, my sinuses. God, I know you’re there.
in the story of the forgotten, and the forsaken.
the refuge of the messiah, was a dying morlock child. but why.
what does it mean. the ultimate crisis. salvation. mankind.
heal my stricken illness, let me become, the professor.
open my mind. I have done my time.
Xorn and the Genesis. Let me evolve. We can do it. Seraphim.
Sometimes I wish I was a robot. I mean, damn it’s like my body is PMSing non stop. One minute I’m alright and then the next I want to kill everyone in the house and then myself.
Just shoo anxiety, shoo depression. Scat, get away! Before I get the rolled up newspaper and start beating my head with it. Like a fly on the wall.
Screw meds, we need a new form of flyswatters….. mentalissueswatters
What to even say… I don’t know anymore to be honest. Before I knew exactly how to explain how I felt, but now, now I’m not sure anymore. Somedays I’m fine, I get up, get dressed and go straight out the door. But most days, I can’t. I can’t get up. Talk. Even go to the bathroom. I just lie there. Staring at the wall.
I just don’t know anymore. Its like. I don’t know. I just feel so heavy. It’s like there’s a weight in my chest, so much so that it’s even hard to breath.
I really want to cry and I just can’t.. I’ve tried thinking about everything that makes me sad.. I’ve tried cutting myself and it hurts so much.. But I couldn’t cry. I’ve hit my hand off a wall. WHY CAN’T I FUCKING CRY?!! It’s like there is a big bubble that needs to pop inside me but I can’t find a way to. It’s been like this for so long I makes me want to end my life (along with other things).. JUST LET ME CRY!!!!!! Can anyone give me advice? Could really do with it…
I think you don’t like me
I feel you despise me
That you laugh and deride me
As I walk out the door
I’m scared if you want me
I feel eyes heat on me
I’ve feelings so lonely
But turn to the wall
I want you to touch me
Not ever to trust me
There is something that must be
But wont be at all
I’m scared that you see me
The scariness leads me
More make me despise me
Make hurt me some more.
She Is….
Stumbling through the corridors,
Banging on the walls,
Everything’s so big
‘Why am I so small?’
Curled in the corners,
Rolling ‘cross the floor
‘Where are the lights?’
Learning to crawl.
She’s rocking on the landing,
Dancing not to bore,
Smiling at the ceiling,
Hiding behind the door.
Fighting in the darkness,
Drowning in the scorn,
Laughing at the lampshades,
Dying as she’s born.
Lurking in the cupboard,
Screaming in the hall,
Listening to the echos,
Company for us all.
Choking in the silence,
Shadows on the wall,
Spitting at the owners,
Smiling at their calls.
Why can’t anyone hear me?
Why can’t anyone hear the screams?
Why can’t anyone hear my screams?
You were able to hear them.
You listened.
You shielded me from the pain
You saved me from the cold
You dawned on my world like the sun
But then you set
All suns set.
The stars aren’t bright enough in this black world
The screams are loud
Can you hear them?
They’re breaking a glass wall
A glass cage
The cage can’t hold the demon any longer.
The world will burn in the night
Or
I can plummet into the sea
Before I allow the world to burn.
Perhaps the cold water
Will stop the screams.
I’m sitting here listening to my mother and grandparents babble about all the bad news going on in the world.
I already woke up with an anxiety attack which is now turning into anger, and I have to have a clear mind so I drive to the store later and then to the crazy doctor. Really I just want to throw my cup of coffee against the room and punch a few holes in the wall and tell everyone in the kitchen to shut the hell up.
Just fuck man. Am I crazy?
Ever been so emotionally hurt by someone, that you just sit in your bed, facing the wall, trying to breath because you’re crying so hard?
Pen to paper, ink on the page
Unable to let flow the words I made
A block, a wall, something in the way makes it feel like these words are fake. My heart, my soul, my self I used to pour in the paper
The lines, the truth printed out in front of their maker, never forced never coerced out of his mind but now those same words I’ve written a thousand times seem hard to find.
Have I drank the well dry? Is it because I’ve gotten too happy to cry or feel empty inside? Is that where my inspiration was derived? Where my […]
The thought of suicide has crossed my mind for years and have often thought how my families life would be affected by my own death? How would they cope, survive ? I know that life is a blink or heart beat away and we should not take life for granted however when your up against a brick wall why live!!! In the past month I have watched more gore movies , binged death, suicide , cemetery, coffins, life after death and so on. Yes I know I’m depressed and on medication but when you have 4 ways going at you at all angles from […]
what i just found out.. last night that ..
well like almost a month ago i got rapped.. by my used to be step dad. and then my neightbor was talking to my mom about it last night .
that he could have killed me..
if he didnt want anyone to find out about it.. it breaks my heart. for my mo to live in so much pain alone.. she still cant handle me getting rapped and then if he killed me ?.. my mom will be just left here alone. with no one helping her and her having nothing to do any more. my […]