had a guy over. And he turned out to be a cuddler. I am too. Sometimes I just wanna be held. I wanna be the lil cub instead of the lion who protects himself from everything. But as I laid there I realized, I’m too vulnerable for this. I got up with feelings. Feelings that really aren’t for him. But for the idea of him. I loved the idea of him being here. And the whole time I wished he was someone else. And this is why I don’t get too close.
Maybe I’m just too sensitive. I don’t want to be a part of them anymore. Is it my fault or is it yours. Stop being so sarcastic.
Stop. It makes me hate myself. It makes me hate everyone. But what do I know about hate.
I just know that I slowly don’t like going out with people. Don’t like people anymore. Don’t wanna hangout with people. Don’t wanna be social with people. Cause everything I’m doing has a sarcastic rebuttal. Oh well.
Swallow it. And pride down. Who cares about me anyways. Stop being so whiny.
The world is an ugly place. Ugly ugly place. Oh well.
I live a life of missing others. Whether it is due to death or just the fact that my best friends live 700 miles away, every morning when i wake up I have a long list of those I miss. When I miss someone so much it causes a sort of “pit” in my stomach that makes me not want to be here anymore. It sounds ridiculous- i know. The fact that just missing someone can cause such emotion and thought, but I believe it is more than that. The emotion of missing someone can be overwhelming. I dont just miss people, but also who […]
Im never writing to myself, its always been a letter to the universe, if They could hear my thoughts. to you? which you may never receive ,if only by cause. or my final notice,which I never really know what I would say. But I know now understanding is never really quite enough, sure they understand,does this mean I’m not alone then why is it so cold in this heart, I call home. if it’s worth trying. ?I know it’s not enough which I why I should stop writing to you. It’s hopeless, Im hopeless. I don’t wanna be the reason, I don’t wanna cry. cause […]
I’m already invisible
I wish I could hide out. Hibernate like a bear. Or fall down a hole and no one finds me. Like I wanna run away to Mexico where nobody knows me or my past. Then I could be whoever I wanted. Or if I could disappear. Or be a fly on the wall. [because they have short life spans] I just don’t wanna be me anymore. I don’t wanna be here anymore. I don’t wanna hurt anymore.
Fuck N Die (I wanna) Fuck N Die (We gonna ) Fuck N Die (I’m a Goner)Fuck N Die (I dont wanna live no longer) imma bout to bust inside never before have I felt so alive I can see my life flashing right before my eyes as I slide my hand ever so gently across your thighs you got me feeling all warm and fluffy inside it got you hot,wet and moisturized and for a second you even got me forgetting that I’m wanting to die but I’m sure it will all come back in due time ,until then it’s game time the balls […]
Hello there. Wanna hear a story? Well let’s take a look inside my head shall we? This story will consist of different parts and depending on how much i feel like typing, that’s how much of the story that will be posted. Anywho, let’s continue. Once upon a time there was a man who went by the name of Rodney. Rodney was addicted to cocaine. Rodney found a woman who was also addicted by the name of Renita. The two have a child and abandon that child to die. This child’s name is Isaiah. Growing up, Isaiah’s word was never believed. He would tell the […]
I Dont know what to do anymore my life’s fucked no one cares about me and they say they do but it’s all lies! I’m a 15 yr old girl and I get used all the time boys use me say they love me then do stuff with me and dump me I want to start valueing myself more buy all I ever think is why would anyone want to b with me they can do better an that’s because I hate myself · I was really close with my nan and grandad and they got put into a care home recently an I feel […]
I hate living here. When my aunt’s family comes over to stay for a few days I swear she becomes so fake. She only talks to me when she wants me to do something or when I say something they stop to listen and then carry on with their conversations like I don’t even exist. I fucking hate that. She is so fucking fake when people come over. I can’t deal. It makes me feel like shit. Well, it’s not like she cares. Either way no one does. What’s the point of giving a crap about people when they don’t give a shit about you. […]
I don’t know anymore. I’m not the person I used to be. I’m someone completely different. Now I just wanna be alone. I get panic attacks. I have really bad social anxiety. It is true what they say, you don’t know what you have until its gone. When I was 9 my mom died and everything just changed. I didn’t even go to her funeral. Slowly this emptiness started growing inside of me. I became kinda lonely and just really sad. There are times when I can’t handle it anymore and just get so sad that I just start thinking about suicide. Honestly, I believe […]
(Hey guys i know this aint really suicide help related but I wrote this based on my exs new gf and I thought for those of us going through a hard time this would be a good laugh. Enjoy!)
To my ex’s New Girlfriend:
So my ex boyfriend dumped me and ended up going out with you. So from woman to woman I thought I would write down a few things you might wanna know about him.
Fantasy: Expect him to stay faithful to him in the relationship?
Reality: HA! Good Luck on that one! He ended up cheating on me right before our 1 year anniversary.
Fantasy: Expecting to […]
hey ya’ll. i know what meds i need. i just cant afford them. I dont wanna be homeless, but it very possibly might end up that way. Im so close to getting healthy, oh well. I will continue to fight to find decent employment and to get my own place (through HUD or section 8 or something). I miss my friends on this site? Where did you all go?
It’s a typical question I’m normally asked. I normally say nothing. But wanna know the truth? I don’t know what’s wrong. I honestly don’t. I could be completely happy then boom. I’m a mess. I feel like I’m going to cry 99% and I have no clue why. I constantly feel like shit and for once I just want to be happy and stay happy. But something always ruins my mood and I have no clue what it is. For some reason I can’t stay happy.
I think about college. I’ve failed so much. It makes me feel hopeless. My friends will be graduating next year and i think i will be left out. I have 7 failed classes i need to retake and 2 back subjects. I want to graduate with my friends. But its my depression that causes me from failing my classes. I didnt want to wake up for school, when i wake up theres no food so i go to school with empty stomach, college is an hour away from my house, some of my classmates would make fun of what i look like, im not that […]
Well.. First of all im a 14 year old boy… Im very sad about what im going through right now. I dont wanna feel like a burden to everyone around me.. Some people call me Handsome,Smart,cute etc.. I know their just trying to make me “feel better” but it doesnt even help me… I dont wanna live anymore.. I have friends but if I tell them what im going through right now they will think im losingy mind… I just wanna die 🙁
That might seem dramatic. My mind is all sluggish and clogged, probably because it’s 12:30 right now. I don’t anywhere. Maybe I’ll try elsewhere and see if I can be born with the correct body, ya know?
This flesh cage, I can’t live in it. It’s draining to see foreign objects on your chest and nothing between your legs. Why do I have curvy hips. They don’t belong there. They need to go. Maybe I’ll slice those chest tumors off.
There are boys all around with their own sets of problems. I shouldn’t be jealous, but hell, I am jealous. I’m jealous because they’re accepted as boys […]
I think all i need in life is comfort and motivation, instead of criticism of every mistake i do. My mom isn’t here for that anymore because she basically doesn’t wanna hear from my ass because her fucking husbands ***** ass made her choose him over her own fucking son so now I’m here with my dad and hes in debt and you know how that puts people right? So fucking annoying, angry all the time, bad attitudes, and basically turned him into a worse alcoholic. My life is not bad… but it should be better, i try to make it better but I’m discouraged […]
I really hate myself for everything.. I lost the love of my life to another guy and honestly I’m gonna end this all. The only reason I wake up is to see her and hear her she’s the reason I live but all that has changed. I wish she’d give me one more chance to prove I’m not like this that I was just making mistakes! I really wanna say sorry for it all! I know I wasn’t the best Aiyana but I’m in love […]
So fucking sick of being treated like I can’t do a goddamned thing right. All I ever fucking do is try to make your ass happy. I’m supposed to be happy with you. You are my goddamned fiancée! The least you could fucking do is act like everything I fucking do for you is good enough. No all you ever wanna do is *****, and fuck, and drink. Make me feel like shit. It’s not like I’m not already depressed as fuck you’ve gotta tear me down every time I turn around. Tell me I’m fat, call me a *****, fucking yell at me for […]