All men are mortal
Some men die old from age
Some men die of their own choosing to escape the hardship of life
Some men are murdered
and some men die courageously for their own principles
I hope to be one of these to die as I live; courageously
Tag:
want
I’ve been here before and here I am again. It’s been 3 years I’ve started voicing my desire to die. Three years of pure hell. Everyone says it’s going to get better and I so wish it would. But it’s not. It just gets worse and worse and I’m more alone than ever.
I can’t even kill myself properly. I’ve overdosed on pills about 15 times. I can’t go through with cutting my carotid or partial suspension. I’m a fucking failure even in my desire to die. I’ve been kept as an in patient in a psychiatric institution twice. I’ve seen countless psychologists, psychiatrists and doctors.
They […]
Some don’t notice, some will ask, so I tell them its my past.
I cut I lie, at night I cry, sometimes I just want to die.
You say I’m suicidal, emo, a “freak†but society has just made me weak.
they don’t understand why we cut and cry they think we attention seek
but its really there fault they just don’t know that we’re hanging off a peak.
a cut a lie a cry at night, sometimes we just want to die, we try we try
oh yes we try to hide whats under our sleeves..
none will notice none will care they have […]
I honestly feel like giving up, I dont know what to do with my life anymore. Yes I know I’m 12 years old I should just be happy. I’ve been suffering depression since I was 9. I started self harming when I was nine. It started of really small. It soon got worse and worse. Scars cover my body. Â I cant go a day without thinking of suicide. I’m bullied everyday my parents currently split up my 3 baby sister died. I’m cyberbullied, I used to be abused. I soon learnt to keep to myself I told ONE person about my past abuse everyone soon […]
All I want is to find someone. Someone who really understands me, not someone who says they understand but really don’t give a shit. I want to find someone that I can tell everything to, someone that’s been through the Same things as me. But I know for dam sure that won’t happen anytime.
i’m drunk as shit right  now, otherwise i wouldn’t be posting this. i want to end it all so bad but i can not because i don’t want to hurt my family and friends. first post to this site, feel free to comment whatever you like. i really want some help but don’t actually believe any of it exists  for me. sorry for the incoherent babble. if i was brave enough to post sober i would have.
Hey people. It’s been a little while again, hasn’t. Maybe two weeks maybe less. And here I am again. Not to worry, I gave my word on not giving up and fighting these grey days till the bitter end, andd I’m still doing it. I maybe flawed in many ways but that promise is something I don’t want to break. So why am I here then? Well I wanted to ask about a few things and give a little update on myself. Maybe it’ll make someone’s day better knowing I’m still kicking.
So over the past two weeks, a couple of things have happened. To […]
This isn’t really how I feel NOW, but I wrote that earlier this week ’cause this is something I do a lot :
Bath time was over. It was enough. So I pulled the bathtub plug. Then the water started to go away, slowly. I didn’t really want this bath to end, so I stayed there waiting for the water to vanish. Then I started thinking about you. About how it was over and that I didn’t really want it to end. When the water was leaving me, I felt as insecure as I was when you first started to walk away. At first, it was […]
I dug myself a hole of depression. Now I’m stuck, so the only thing left to do is keep on digging and see where it leads. Well I found where it leads, in a girl from somewhere and a guy from somewhere.
Suicide- according to them is the answer; end result or whatever you want to call it. However, I live in fear of the day I’m told I’m going to die. Ironic, considering I want it most in the world some times.
Of coarse everyday I tell myself and numerous others that I’m “fine”. Which I am. I mean there is literally no other word to […]
I’ve been thinking for a good part of a long while. I don’t want to live anymore, I’ve made that choice. I’ve only ever felt like this once before, and I overdosed on over the counter pain killers. I woke up covered in my own vomit, and my family found me. I do not want a situation like that again. I want it to be quick, and I want it to be certain. I want to die in my bed. I don’t have many options, and I need to know what to do. Please. Help me.
i want nothing but death
i have not told what i saw
oh dear! i think i am becoming god
ive offended mankind bcuz my work dint reach the quality it shud have –davin-c
why do u weep do u think i was immortal?
one last drink please
i hope i haven’t bored you
i die hard but am not afraid to do so
money can’t buy life
am bored with it all
last words are for foolish who haven’t said enough -marx
I’m going to be straight to the point here. I wish I can kill myself. I wish I was brave enough to do it. I am not doing a good job at living. There is always something wrong with me no matter how I change for the better. I want people to help me but I am tired to ask for help because I’m being overly dramatic. There are times when I am happy and I always count those days. But when I’m not it is always there, the thought of ending life right then. I really wish I can. I know I am selfish […]
I’m in two minds when someone asks me if I’m ok. Part of me want’s to say “of course not, do I look like I’m fine?” The other part of me keeps thinking  “wow, someone noticed I’m not ok, maybe I’m not so worthless.” Opinions?
So many people are busy
People that I rely on
People that I want love from
People that I want help from
People that I want comforting from
People that I want to talk to
So many people are busy
No time
No spare time
No extra time
No free time
No additional time
No more time
No time
All I want
Is love
Is to be cared for
Is for someone to be there for me
Is for someone to love me
Is for someone to truly sincerely want me
All I want
No one
Cares
Loves
Needs
Wants
Talks
No one
I want
A friend
A carer
My date is coming up. It’s in May. I haven’t really decided on a method yet but I know I don’t want anyone from my family to find me. I just know how the rest of my life plays out now and it doesn’t seem important to go through the day to day living. I’ll most likely die at work in my 50’s from a heart attack or stroke. My kids will be in college so my wife will have to struggle with the money because my life insurance is only good until I am 50. I figure if I eat a bullet now they […]
Love…
Is it too much to ask to be loved?
Valentine’s Day passed…
I gave my closest friends flowers
So they knew that I loved them
Sincere friendly love
I was hoping maybe, just maybe, someone would get me a flower
Or a Valentine or just something that says “I love you,”
But I didn’t…
They felt guilty about not getting me anything…
I told them it was fine…
Maybe it wasn’t…
And it’s just me being the selfless person I am…
I don’t know….
I just want
Love…
I feel like I’m nearing the end. I am trying my hardest to hold on. I started cutting. I’m drinking and oversleeping again.
I tried to talk to my therapist but she mentioned something about ‘not losing my license’ and the deep sighing is all starting to make me feel like she’s frustrated with me.
I am certain no one dislikes me more than I dislike myself. When I feel that someone I respect becomes irritated with me then I just embrace self-hate that much more.
If your own shrink is done with you then why would I keep trying?
I want to be happy. I want to be […]
on some days I feel probably okay..i try not to think much but most of the time..i feel exhausted! with my life..it’s just been one failure after another and add to that low self confidence and high self loathing..i just want it to end..if this is life..i don’t want it.. I have issues but I can never talk about them with anyone because whoever I consider close don’t know what it’s like..the whole “move on, fight, get on with it” thing doesn’t work for me..i’m tired of doing all that..im just exhausted and want some permanent rest and I’m in the final stages of getting […]
Why do I even try to befriend people?
Why do I even try my best to feel loved?
Why do I even try to find people who might care for me?
Why do I even try to hope that someday I will find love?
Why do I even try to stop myself from thinking about suicide?
All I do when I befriend people is hurt them.
All I do when I try to feel loved is get hurt.
All I do when I try to find people who might care for me is to feel useless and unwanted.
All I do when I try to hope […]
I’ve seen the documentary The Bridge many times. In spite of the miniscule risk of surviving the jump, it’s still a much more statistically successful method than pills.
Pills? Totally unreliable
Hanging? I couldn’t bring myself to do it
Gunshot? Way too messy….besides, I’m as anti-NRA as you can get.
Yes….I have a deep seated feeling the Golden Gate Bridge will be my method when I decide I really need to go, which I hope will be before I have to suffer another Holiday Season.
I made a preliminary draft of my Will and today I talked to my financial planners about how I want my IRA distributed. They have […]