We listen to objectively vulgar, demeaning, and strange music. The lyrics hold meaning that are not widely accepted by society. To me, and I’m sure plenty of other teenagers, the lyrics hold a different meaning. Those who know serious emotional and psychological struggle see those lyrics as refreshing, and symbolizing an encouragement intended to help deal with the struggle. That’s how I see it, anyways. Opinions are like anuses.My generation astounds me, negatively and positively. They act out particular behaviors that are cliche for a teenager, but these “punks” are still human beings. They have the same brain every other human has; only teenager brain’s […]
Its what we all seek ultimately whether we want it or not, is it not true? We search this world for someone who understands us who can accept us and love us, thats the dream. To mean something to someone, at least based on my perspective how can I mean anything to myself if I mean nothing to no one? When I was younger I always wanted love I mean I never truly had it I was drunk on the idea of love and in my mind love was the only thing that could heal my brokenness. I found love, it was amazing truly and […]
Standing here
all alone.
Everyone left me.
I’m on my own.
what did I do?
What did I say?
To make them go
so far away.
Nobody wants me.
They don’t care.
They say mean things,
and give an evil stare.
IT really hurts,
inside and out.
I just want one thing
to change my life’s route.
I want someone to love me.
One who’s life i’ll share.
Someone who’s always with me.
Someone who’s always there.
I know who it is.
It’s always been you.
So kind so brave so bold.
The one who’s always true.
I want you in my life.
perhaps one […]
I attempted suicide by ambien but it dint work on march 17 2013 that was suppose to be my last post
I want to ask your opinion about seeking / talking to a professional. I never go to one. My mother asks me to go to a psychologist / psychiatrist. But I am afraid to pour out my deepest heart to a complete stranger. I feel embarrassed. I am also afraid that he/she will declare me as just an attention seeker. (Am I? I don’t know the answer. I don’t think I am but if a professional says so, who am I to counteract) It has happened before. I opened myself to some people in authority, and they ridiculed me and brushed me off as attention […]
Hi Guys,
It’s 8:30 here and I am already exhausted… I haven’t been getting much sleep these past few nights… Maybe 4-5 hours at the most? Maybe less? All I know is I have been going to bed around 1-2 am and waking up at 5-6:30 am… So not much sleep there… But ya know I don’t really care… Well I guess I do because I feel lonely those 3-4 extra hours and I don’t know what to do with myself…. I start overthinking things. I start wondering, questioning, questioning my very own existence. Why am I here for? What am I here for? What is […]
Hi, I just want to rant here. I am 22 and already tired of life. I have been without friends for a long time. Last time I have some friends in doing things is in my junior high school. I have been told to do everything by myself because that is what adults do: doing everything independently. I have a good role model for that: my mother. She is very reliable and can do everything by herself. I too want to be like her. I have been trying to live on without a friend since junior high. It’s scary and tiring to do everything alone. […]
Hi, this is my first post on SP. I don’t want to live in this hell anymore. I am a 40 year old man who has been battling addiction/depression for more than 20yr’s now. I have never been able to put more than 3 months of sobriety together in a row. My addiction/depression has progressed over the years and has left me with nothing but the cloths on my back and the contents of my backpack. I’ve been homeless for about 2 1/2 years now, some of it on the streets, the hospital or homeless shelters. I have made 5 suicide attempts in the last […]
I don’t know why I’m still here… but I’m still here.
Pills aren’t working. I still feel the same way as I did the night I did it. I am focusing on me and what I want… which I’m finding isn’t much. Maybe if I wanted more out of life I could find more.
For eight years I had maintained the defenses of my mind. They protected me from the pain of existence; they allowed me function, to act, like a normal human being. And they kept me alive. I was living a lonely life, but I was content.
And then I met you. Something happened. The walls in my mind shook, shifted, and I felt a feeling I hadn’t felt in a long time. A desire to get to know this person. A desire to want this person in my life.
I was scared. I had spent so long keeping my distance from people. As I got to know you […]
Hi Guys,
How are you? How’s your life? How is your day? Don’t forget to comment down below how you are! I do want to know!
NOTE: Really sorry for this being a long post… I didn’t really try to… Writing is the only way I can get my feelings out.
How am I? Does it even matter how I am? Does it matter? Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. How am I? Physically? Sore. Bruised. Hurt. Scarred. Mentally? Broken. In Pain. Hurt. Scared.
My physical state… I keep getting headaches… Waking up this morning I hit my head on my wall and it hurt like crazy, but […]
I’m just completely lost. I don’t know if I should end it already. I’ve been put through so much bullshit that I’m completely fed up. I was molested by my dad’s friend which my dad doesn’t know about because I was young and scared that he’d do something to my family cause he claimed he will if I ever told. I still haven’t said anything and it’s been years. I’ve also be bullied by everyone. Even my own family. I’ve always been really into sports and I’m a girl so my parents, sisters, and brother would always call me a boy because of it. Also, […]
I am so tired of fighting… Fighting against the pain, fighting against these stupid thoughts and insecurities. I am tired of having to justify why I am not able to do things in allotted time due to my physical difficulties… If I don’t mean anything, why do I exist… Can’t I just go to sleep and never wake up again…
Hi Guys,
How are you? Again sorry its so late… Well it’s really not that late… Only not really… It’s 9 here…. Soo yeah…
How am I? Does it matter? Does it matter how I am? Does it matter what I am feeling? No it doesn’t. It doesn’t matter. I don’t matter. Only you matter. I don’t. So yeah…. Um yeah…
Here’s a monologue thingie:
I have it planned out. I wouldn’t say goodbye. I wouldn’t tell you. It’d be a surprise. You would think I am fine. Because I am. To you I am fine. To you I am doing just great. To you I am perfectly […]
to be honest, all what i think about now is killing myself. there is absolutely nothing good about my life. i know people have it worse, but i can’t bare with it anymore. i just want to jump in front of a car and die. i know my family will act like they miss me, but i am positive they’d be happy that i am gone. same with my friends. in fact, i don’t even have many friends. maybe 2 at the most. i just want to mean something to someone, i want to mean something to myself.
Sometimes I hear or see something I don’t want to when i’m with a group of people , and I see things that just hurt me and I want to burst into tears but I don’t want people to see the true me. It hurts being one of the only people from you’re group wanting to kill yourself every minute of day.
Its been some time since my last post, maybe a week maybe two. Time has been slipping past so fast I barely even notice it. It still is the same grey world but now there is something different about it. I gave myself a fighting chance. After I had posted I felt a small relief on myself my story was out somewhere and none judged it, instead they offered support and wishes for well being. Thats when I decided upon something.
I will make a stand for who I am and what I want. I refuse to beaten and pummeled by something that is not even […]
The only thing that keeps me living is knowing that at any moment I can choose plan B. I would go  crazy otherwise. I’ll eventually do it anyway. You can’t fire me. I can quit. Why stay at a job you hate. I think its funny when people say don’t kill yourself. You will go to hell. Don’t you want to go to heaven? Lmfao. I know there is a hell and you don’t have to die to visit it either. It’s not that I want to die. Just wish I didnt have to be around another minute to suffer through it more. I don’t […]
So I did my GCSE mock exams and just got my results back… I got D’s in everything but English where I got an A… My mum, she told me that I tried my best and that’s all that matters, and that’s she’s proud I got an A, but my dad wasn’t so easy to please… He just kept telling me I should have straight A’s in all my subjects and that if I don’t get them he’ll disown me, and then slapped me.. Me being me I didnt know what to do, at first it was just crying but then I started cutting… I […]
I’ve been thinking of suicide frequently ever since junior high, Â and I’ve also been thinking lately that I just don’t want to be happy or content. In part, I just can’t imagine myself as a happy, smiling person; it actually makes me uncomfortable. I would need to change so much about myself, and part of me even hates happy, optimistic people. It seems like I would always be wearing a mask. I’ll list a few other thoughts as numbered points:
Being serious and unemotional makes me feel more in control of day to day situations. I’m worried that acting friendly would invite too many people who […]