Tag:

want

No hate

by poisontongue 7/25/2014

written by poisontongue

The site says no hate, but there’s plenty of hate.

I hate being me. I hate existing. I hate living in this world. This trap.

I hate being alone, rejected, unable to live.

I hate that anyone pretends that things get better.

I hate that suicide is never an option.

I hate being forced to live when I know full well it is hopeless.

I don’t want this. I don’t want to sit here and struggle any longer. I don’t want to have to struggle my entire life. I just want to sit back and fade away.

I go to martial arts and I practice, fine. An hour of distractions while standing […]

7/25/2014 4 comments

Lost at sea

by wanderlustnebula 7/25/2014

written by wanderlustnebula

I seriously think I am throwing my life in the garbage, but sadness has eaten the last bit of awareness I had left in my brain and I discovered a profound love for drugs…. So I guess after the strong tides I’ve tried to swim through, it’s time I float on this raft for a while, just for a little bit. It makes me feel secure. I still see my dream island far in the horizon, but I need rest. I’ll have to start swimming again soon if I don’t want to be carried away on an unsafe shore. But for now, I am just […]

7/25/2014 1 comment

why

by hazedkfnap 7/25/2014

written by hazedkfnap

I’m not sure why. I just feel so surrounded by death. why are people in my family dying but not me? I know I’m fucked when I die, God will be so disappointed.. but why am I still alive? I have a good family, a few good friends. I’m not ill. I’m just so worn out and depressed I don’t see the point in life. it’s all so temporary.

used to ask God every single day for 38 months straight in jail to just kill me. lost who I thought was the love of my life. but I got past it and felt better. now I […]

7/25/2014 5 comments

delaying the inevitable

by tphg 7/24/2014

written by tphg

I’m not sick. I don’t have relationship/family issues. I’m not living in poverty. I’m not anyone’s subject of ridicule. I don’t have any important responsibilities (pets, children). Things are going well for me. I moved into a fantastic apartment last week after staying with my mum for 5 months (before that I was living with my girlfriend, but it didn’t work out). My job is mind numbing but pays really well, and the atmosphere is very relaxed. I should be studying right now (because I want a better job) but whenever I sit down to, I don’t.

I have lots of ideas for things I want […]

7/24/2014 2 comments

Do Not Enter A Title Here

by Kailee3 7/22/2014

written by Kailee3

You know how odd it is, whenever i cry over you .. you text me? Like is this some sick joke? All i want is to hate you but seems to me that will be impossible. I’m so unhappy with life and you just make it worse.. Well today i told Rj i’m tired of being there for everyone else but no one is there for me and i listen to EVERYONE, but yet i have no one? All he said was ‘You need to let people in…’ How can i let people in when my best-friend’s cat scratched her one day and she was […]

7/22/2014 0 comment

slkjfdjlqp

by n0oh 7/22/2014

written by n0oh

My mother’s schizo finally did it, she can’t work anymore, still doesn’t admit she needs treatment, I don’t know if she’s taking her meds but knowing her it’s the last thing she’ll do, it’s way too nice to make my life even more of a hell. I can’t earn more, I can’t get a better job, or I can’t get a second job, whether she accepts it or not. Nobody understands me. I don’t, either. Why do I still care who’s gonna take care of her when I’m dead, I don’t know! I definitely don’t want to do anything for her anymore. Yet I still […]

7/22/2014 14 comments

Anyone out there

by Fadeto_black 7/21/2014

written by Fadeto_black

I know sometimes you don’t want the seemingly useless advice people give you. That’s what I’ve seen anyway.

Im not a therapist; I myself am not in a decent state, but if you want to talk about anything and everything without constant advice feel free to contact me.

georgiahjones@googlemail.com

7/21/2014 0 comment

Color me dead

by fallenangel33 7/21/2014

written by fallenangel33

I’m not sure who’s on here or how many are on here. For anyone who’s been needing someone to talk to and really truly care, I’m here. I would love to listen and talk. Be there for you and talk you through things. If you want to talk you can email me, I would love to listen. Take a leap and faith and just try it.

@ kenzie.fallenangel33@gmail.com

7/21/2014 0 comment

Black Atheist

by Jermi 7/21/2014

written by Jermi

I’m a 19 year old college student in brooklyn and I’m amazed I made it this far but I feel like 19 years of life is enough. Over the years I felt like I was born to be hated for the color of my skin and my beliefs. I ask my parents, why bother having a kid, just to have him or her life doomed from the very start? I was raised from a christian background and not once have I found anyone to seriously talk to about any of my troubles for all everyone thinks is ” I’m just seeking attention ” or ” […]

7/21/2014 3 comments

How much longer

by Remnant The Unbroken 7/20/2014

written by Remnant The Unbroken

Can I convince myself that I’m fine? For a while I’ve been relatively ok. Not majorly depressed, and not happy….just existing.

My kitty had a seizure this evening, and my mother got bit real bad (cat is diabetic and her sugar dropped to practically nothing). I’ve had this cat since I was 3. So she’s 17 now. It was awful….I’m going to lose my buddy in a few months. I have no choice. But death is a part of life.

Tonight’s stress seems to have made me relapse. I don’t want to cut again, but I feel like I have to simply because I haven’t for almost […]

7/20/2014 9 comments

by Not typical 7/20/2014

written by Not typical

I don’t know where to turn for help. I don’t know anything any more. I feel like I am drowning. I feel like I need help. No one will or can help me. I don’t know what to do. I just want all of this to go away…

7/20/2014 4 comments

Almost there. Lost.

by Not typical 7/20/2014

written by Not typical

I can’t stop thinking about it. For hours now… It’s on my mind. I just want to be away from it all. I feel like I can’t do this. I don’t know what to do any more. I’m trying to make it through one day at a time. I can’t shake this thought. I’ve thought it all the way through. I am debating almost every day now. I know better, but I am so close. I have reached out for help and tried to help myself in every way that I can. Nothing is working. I really fell worse. Like I’m digging myself a hole.

7/20/2014 3 comments

not good enough

by LuLu 7/19/2014

written by LuLu

I’m not good enough for anyone to just love me. It’s all I ask for in this life, I just want someone to love me wholey and honestly but I guess I just don’t deserve that. I guess god thinks I don’t deserve to be happy. I hear the voice in my head everyday that tells me over and over “you’re not good enough, no one really loves you, you’re a disappointment to everyone, just do the world a favor and end it.” And right now that sounds like a good idea. I want to die, slowly and painfully, none of this quick and painless […]

7/19/2014 24 comments

alone

by desiree 7/19/2014

written by desiree

i feel so alone.everything i do feels wrong the only thing that helps is to sleep and drink.to be honest i just want to sleep,drink,and have sex.i should be dead i deserve to be dead but only the good die young,i guess ill be loving forever.please help

7/19/2014 3 comments

Today…

by CrimsonDream 7/19/2014

written by CrimsonDream

I would like to inform every lost soul on this website that there is hope. I haven’t concord my depression or anything, I know it’ll be back sooner or later but right now in this very moment I can say I’m glad I didn’t kill myself. The scars are there but you know what? I like my scars , they show me that in a point and time of my existence I didn’t want to live and it makes me feel a hell of a lot better that I could figure that out. I am aware that I’ll be on here in like a month […]

7/19/2014 2 comments

Its all just a messed up joke

by Procel 7/19/2014

written by Procel

Life is nothing but a series of comic fuck ups and disappointments, its like its just waiting for you to want something before it screws you over, u make every step forward that you can, you get everything under controll and one thing just comes along and puts you back to square one. The one thing u want more than anything else is dangled infront of you but u don’t get it. U get to be close enough to breath in its scent but u cant touch it. U get to be right beside it but u might as well be a million miles away […]

7/19/2014 4 comments

What’s the point???!!!!

by SickandTired86 7/19/2014

written by SickandTired86

I’ve had depression for 12 years now and when I was 20 I made a suicide pact with myself that if I wasn’t happy by 30 it was time to end it all.

Well my Bf dumped me last night and I don’t see the point anymore. I’ve got a year and a half till d-day but I don’t think I’ll make it to then. These past 10 years have been so hard the thought of another 50 like this make me feel sick!

I’ve tried suicide before but I was found, so this time will be different. I just want to make sure all my finances […]

7/19/2014 4 comments

Please Read This..

by M_Broken 7/18/2014

written by M_Broken

:'( :'( :'( I don’t know how to start from but the pain is killing inside me..my granny woke up at 5 in the morning and came over to my house just to convince me to go to school..she was ill but still she came..what if i lose her? i turned her down…i despise myself…but i had no other option..i dont want to go to school.
i feel like dying..the guilt is killing me… :'( :'( :'(

7/18/2014 13 comments

How Bad Is “Hospitalization”

by Dallas 7/18/2014

written by Dallas

Got a new shrink who says I should consider in-patient treatment.

Seriously don’t want to.

Any clue from anyone who has been down that path would be helpful.

So, if you’ve ever voluntarily gone, what was your typical day like?

7/18/2014 17 comments

So lonesome I could cry

by Dollycutter 7/18/2014

written by Dollycutter

I can’t trust anyone, not even myself. This feeling unsettles me and my world is built on quicksand.

I couldn’t even stay home by myself earlier because I know there is danger in the silence. My brain explores every unsavory character flaw I possess. I hate being this way. I can’t help but tongue the wounds and look for new ones.

I don’t want to die. At least I don’t think I do. Maybe I’m wrong. Sometimes I know I need to though. Lately there’s a lot of knowing. Like right now. I stare at my daughter and I know she deserves better than […]

7/18/2014 2 comments

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