me and Ryan kinda jumped into things very fast. He moved in with me after two weeks, but we were happy as can be. I was always weary that he was lying to me, because that’s just what I’ve always been used to. But everything he said always added up. He was extremely supportive of everything, including my mental illnesses. we were in everything together. Ryan comes from a very rough child hood. Him & his siblings were taken away from his parents when I believe he was three. He found his mom when he was 18, and moved in with her. I actually met […]
So I am new to this obviously. Um but I just wanted to tell my story to people who want to listen and who don’t feel the pressure to listen to me.
Anyways I have been depressed and suicidal for a while now. It all started with an English paper titled “This I Believe” and I was asked to write about what I truely believe in. In my essay I stated that I believed I would become this gilded girl, beautiful on the outside, but damaged and hallow on the inside. I believed that I would serve an existance of pain. Writing […]
My name is Randall Edwards and I am here because when I was 17 I google searched the words “I want to disappear” and found this site. I am now nineteen and I am suicidal because I am alone. I am away from my friends so much now that a part of me feels like I’m meeting them again for the first time when I see them. Tomorrow I’ll be seeing my best friend tomorrow for the first time in roughly a month and […]
Hi, I’ve never posted on a site like this before about how Im feeling or doing with things. Idk if anyone will read my crap on here or not. Doesnt really matter. I feel empty inside. I have no energy, no strength, no anything to do anything. I force myself to go to work. When I’m there, I’m better, but i’ve been getting worse lately. Ive had to hold my stomach throughout the day because I hurt so much. My emotional pain has become physical. Dunno where to start. how bout, I have always had depression and suicide as a way side thought. Moved to […]
I was born in California. I am 23 years of age. I’ve never had a real relationship with any guy. When I was young I was rapes by my own family member. I’ve never been allowed to go out at nights. They raised me indoors, except going to school. I do not work, I don’t have a car or a boyfriend. I see people being successful while I’m still stuck at my parents house doing nothing except playing video games. I’m not pretty, I’m fat. I have ugly toes and a belly that looks like it has been squish. I’ve been thinking of taking my […]
I keep trying and nothing is ever good enough for anyone. I give him everything he wants, do whatever he tells me but that’s not enough. I just want to be done…with everything.
So I’m 19…and supposedly a girl who has the world going for me. I’m “pretty” and smart and everyone loves me.
So they tell me. When I was 11, my mom abandoned me to a city who devoured me like the storm devours ships. I was gangraped nightly, used, abused, beaten…..starved, and tied to a bed for days at a time.
I’ve suffered losing everyone close to me, either being left or God takes them from me.
I found a guy that loved me for everything I was….and man I feel hard. And I was doing okay….until May 2nd, 2014 when I lost my daughter, Dylan Michelle…at 6:30 […]
I hate you people who are all like, “My life sucks, who wants to die with me?” Then you get a list of people who are willing and you’re like, “Nope, you’re all too young!” Like what the fuck? As long as they’re over the age of 18 you shouldn’t give a shit.
It hurts so much to see what you’re all going through and what you have been through. If I could, I’d take all of your pain on my own shoulders. I’d not survive it but I would rather my own suffering than all of yours. I’m not the crying type of person but this honestly brings tears to my eyes. Especially knowing that I’m useless in helping anyone with their problems. But if anyone wants to share their burden, I’m here.
my real name is Mark, but I prefer to be called Maciee. I came on here to find advice and possibly a way past this time.
it started when I was 7 or 8, wanting to be dressed up as a girl and to wear makeup, to be beautiful and comfortable in the pink and frills instead of the disgusting monster truck t-shirts and baseball caps. my mom died before i turned 5, but i know if she was still here she would have supported me now. i’m 12 years old, (soon to be 13 in a week counting today!). I live with my dad and […]
My birthday is tomorrow and I find myself researching ways to kill myself. I have felt suicidal since I was 7, yet I always convinced myself that tomorrow would be better. I have lived this lie for 19 years. I’m sick of it.
I tried to jump out of a moving car on Wednesday night. My fiance stopped me. When I thought about how horrible it would have been for him to see me like that, it made me feel so wretched.
I am an abuser. I abuse him like my parents abused me. I don’t hit him, but I hurt him with my existence. I am […]
This is my first post, i have been reading some other stories & feel very much connected to the feelings expressed…. Want to share my story…. I have seriously contemplated ending my life on many occassions… But i am also a procrastinator :)), so i am still here….
I have been poisoned… By mercury: in my teeth, from fillings…. From vaccinations…. In the womb, from my mother’s tooth fillings…. From eating fish… From people burning coal and polluting the air and water….
Mercury is the most powerful neurotoxin on earth… Mercury amalgam fillings were used in the nazi […]
That’s how I feel. I want to die, but I feel stuck now. There are people who love me. People who want to see me get far in life. But I barely have any motivation to do anything. I don’t have a job, and I wasn’t able to graduate last year because of the sheer amount of days I missed from school. My ex is the total opposite of me. He has likes, wants, goals, and tons of motivation. He graduated high school last year, and took on a job at wal-mart to support his hobbies. I’m this person who’s dependent on medication and even […]
All my life ive been there for others helping to keep them positive and moving onwards and upwards.
Ive come to a point where i cant even do this for myself. My relationship came to an end on my birthday a few days back and it was my own fault as much as im hurting n dispairing of my actions im breaking apart more and more each day knowing how much ive hurt him n thats the worst part. He wants nothing more to do with me and wants me to NEVER contact him again. I see no way out of the hole i have gotten […]
Listening to my immortal right now by amy lee, it looks like my past has come back to haunt me, like death is silently calling me, someone is calling me in this wind, someone wants me, loves me, and i need to commit suicide to see that person. the years i have lived are nothing, im empty as my soul, i have nothing to live for, like.. my parents mean nothing to me, nobody means anything to me. do you understand how i feel ?
scarsI don’t know what to do anymore.. I battle with severe anxiety, depression, insomnia and anger issues.I try my hardest to be what they want me to be.. the perfect daughter. Have the perfect grades, I was working 2 jobs but I just can’t cope any more. I’m lost. Dropped out of school at 15. Quit one job. Have barely any shifts at the other one. I blow up at everyone over everything. I can’t help myself .I cry everynight trying to think of new ways to be perfect… I tried cutting… It just wasn’t my thing so I started burning myself. The pain […]
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=TXIP6DHrc2I
Everywhere I turn, I find someone who I think is going to treat me different, like I’m a person and not an object to be used. But they all turn out the same. All but one person, who I’m so scared that I’ll lose I begged them not to ever leave me on multiple occasions.
I’m all broken and hurt and I think I’d rather be dead right now than feel this. I’m not saying I’m wanting to die, but it was an observation. Why is love and friendship not easy to come by? It seems as if no one wants me for who I […]
Lately I’ve been passing time by watching reality television. Before i never watched it and thought it was stupid. It is stupid and ridiculous but somehow watching rich white people is ridiculously hilarious at this point in life. Watched secret princes and am watching nyc prep.
Went to Baltimore a few weeks back, it was fun and nice to be out of my hellhole of a house. moving this week though art of me wants to give up. get up drink meds go to work get up drink meds, go to work. time passes and either way i must be getting closer to death.
Eating to pass […]
I watched this movie today called gimmie shelter.the girl basically had a hard life crazy mother rich dad who didnt want her.but in the end she got her happy ending.i would say only in the movies but this was based off a true story.what i wonder is why cant i ever get things right.this girl probably still has worries and hardships but her life will still be better than mine. Cause she got the help she needed.im twenty one all i think about is suicide and its starting to seem like thats all i know.and that would be great except ive never made […]
I’ve always thought about suicide since I was 6. Been molested by a few people until I was 11 years old. So it made me really suicidal since a young age. When I was 17 I was disowned by my dad’s side and he left when I was 8 years old. I was thinking of ways to kill myself because it would be hard in the group home to get a way with it. So I came up with one that I thought would work. My school had a freeway above it so one morning I was dropped at school ran up the hill and […]