people can be so blind to whats going on with other people i find it insane. For a few years now ive been depressed and im bipolar. Senior year i ended up cutting my wrist feeling alone is never fun. I simply dont understand all the people that i thought i was friends with or my family for a matter of fact can simply just not see the true pain and auffering i go though everyday. This past year i went to college and there was a bridge right near campus that 3 people would jump off of each month. The first time i heard […]
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Me, myself was a very unfortuante person because I wasn’t the most popular girl in school, however when leaving school I was the most popular girl there and everyone wanted to be like me or be dating me. Yet when I was wishing to be like the popular kids I didnt realise how much they hated it, when I started being popular I loved it but I found out that I was missing the real me, I was like what people call a *****. Yet those wasn’t my intentions, however I don’t live in regret because I don’t regret anything in my life and this […]
Sometimes i wanted to end up this socalled life, sometimes im so scared about death, about the hell we sorta know less about.
and every night, like EVERY NIGHT, when i think about loads of worries, and all those problems of the years ive been thru i feel like shit, i dont know but i think its the uncertainty, which scares most humans, i dont know what am i doing tomorrow, my hearts pounding so loud, yet sorry not fast, thats the point which scared me like hell, i thought id die every single night, freaking creepy and i wont even kno im dead the other […]
suicidal thoughts consume me…..
i feel like everyone hates me, nobody likes me…. whats wrong with me….
my lab partner decided to switch partners without even telling me – yes cause she doesnt like me…
everybody at work hates me……. im not even doing anything.
and now at home, he hates me.
what if im dead instead, ill be gone. for sure they’ll be hurt, shocked, and probably will move one eventually. but i will get my peace… forgive me Lord, you know whats in my head or what im feeling
i have nobody to talk to. even my managers wont talk to me. theyre useless. you cant even voice […]
Something big hit me today when I was lying down on my bed. I have came to the realization there is nothing I actually want to do with my life. And when I say nothing I mean absolutely nothing. Everybody I have ever known has their own set of goals or things they want to do with their life. Whether that be in a loving relationship with kids, travel the world, go to concerts and parties,do any activities and so on. Everybody wants to do something.
Me? I want to do absolutely nothing. I don’t look at anything and be like I want to do this […]
We deserve better!
I deserve to be happy.
I deserve to feel loved.
I deserve to have a job i love, & that can support me.
I deserve to be treated as i treat others.
I deserve to have the life i want.
Why is this world so cruel & awful that people can not even be happy anymore. Everything is too expensive, the meaning of true love is gone. You can not rely or trust anybody, if you do, chances are you just get hurt worse than before.
All i wanted was to be happy. To make a difference in this world, to make a difference with someone i love.
Life is […]
i saw you standing there alone upon the roof
your eyes puffy red and your lips were turning blue
tell me now
whats your reason darling tell me now
and dreams are made of wonder
and the curiosity
but if you do this now im telling you its not meant to be
so dont be sad there is now reason darling dont be sad
do follow the yellow brick road
talk to the stars in the sky it wont be easy i know there is no reason to cry
keep on moving keep the blood pumping keep your heart beating keep the smile
keep on […]
Where ever I may go, there will always be Demons swarming around me. Sucking dry every chance I may get at happiness. I have fallen out of grace with the light long ago, and now the dark covers me with its unholy glow of blackness. Perhaps it’s my fault for letting the darkness blacken my soul. Angels scorn me, demons mock me, gods disown me, spirits wait for me. A dissolute creation of the most shallow kind. Doomed to walk in lonliness until the end of time. Another light faded. Another hope darkened. Another dream ripped from me by the demons that swarm me. They […]
when youve lost all hope of ever being happy again whats left
when youve lost interest in everything you used to care about whats left
when you feel completely lost and hopeless whats left
when your whole life falls apart around you whats left
when it seems like the world is going on without you whats left
when everybody elses happiness makes you miserable whats left
when just waking up makes you feel like shit whats left
when negative emotions are the only ones that remain whats left
when you see death as the only way to escape the sorrow whats left
when the pain […]
My best friend sent me a Snapchat saying goodbye. She was holding scissors to her throat. She is the person I trust the most in this world and the only thing that keeps me going. I know she’s alive but not for how long. If she goes I don’t know what I’m going to do. Every day is fucking horrible and its going to be like this forever. Is this what life is supposed to be like? Why the fuck does it even exist. The worst thing is that deep down I know I’m a selfish hypocrite who makes something out of nothing. I don’t […]
how does she laugh how does she cry whats the color of her eyes does she even realize am here WHERE IS SHE where is this beautiful girl who is she whos gonna company my world!!!
today has been the longest of days. Yet the day isn’t even over yet. I feel very suicidal and alone. I do not see a point of me being here. I have been trying to do the best I can and no one gives a flying fuck. I am done done done. My suicide date is on Monday. I am going to attempt. Fuck you all for crushing and stomping on my heart when I needed you the most. I am sorry that I can’t be better. whats wrong with me and why can’t I be better! I am giving up on myself and what […]
Im up late as usual in my room scared of the dark to sleep.
Everyday is such a waste, i do nothing but watch movies. Barely anything gives me pleasure, i feel loke crying im so depressed. I feel like life is just a coincidence and then when we die we die, its over, which makes me really sad and depressed like whats the point of carrying on till death.
Barely anything interests me im scared of people i have 1 friend that scared of talking to. I dont know how to explain it.
i just feel so Sad and lonely right now and i […]
I guess the only thing holding me back is the curious fear I have of whats next. Is there a heaven like all our grandparents say? Or is there just black nothing? Will I linger and watch the aftermath, because that just might be worse. To watch all the ones I love suffer…. but at the same time living is a burden to them. I don’t know….what do you guys think happens when we are set free?
Any one else scared of the dark, sleeping, whats behind you?? I am its debilatating….and im almost 21.
Well this is something new for me. I have never posted anything like this before. Im not sure why. My life doesnt seem terrible by any means compared to some of the things Ive red on this website. I have a supportive family, friends who care about me very much. I am an educated individual who served in the military and holds a good job now. Then why may I ask do I struggle every single day with ending my life? The last 4 months have been a 180 degree change. I lost the love of my life through my own faults and coming to […]
What’s the difference with someone saying and being suicidal to someone who just says what the fuck I want to not endure no more pain and just does it. Like thank fuck I can vent because I’m soo suicidal. I’m in the not care stage can’t see any way out and time will just make me worse and worse and worse until I can’t cry become emotionless and not feel or care for anything. Fuck society just fuck society. When I had a psychotic break I swore at a police officer well actually i called him a pedofile but i was mentally deranged out of […]
With my besties. So proud of my friend who’s graduating from college.
But I feel like I don’t belong here. like I shouldn’t be here. Like I’m not really a bestie, like I’m just here because of some nuanced sense of whats right or honor.
My friends said that I was not polite, mostly related to lude jokes and statements about moms being sexual beings. I guess I relate to my mom differently. I wish she would go out and have a life and love and fuck for god’s sake. She’s not dead. She’s a human. I don’t want to treat her as if she is this […]
one day left. Its quite nice being so numb, i no longer think so much and no longer care about how it may affect her and everyone else. without her even being near me i can tell how hurt she is, i wish she would just let go, it would be so much easier…..people always say it’ll get better, well it never did it just got worse and even now people say it but they still don’t realise for some it never gets better, it just gets worse. I wonder whats after…..death, is it worse then this? Or better then this?