Today I really tended and had the urge to cut myself and to plan my suicide. I felt really terrible today. It started this morning, the thoughts of don’t want to live anymore. I had to find out what the methods are to kill yourself. I had to, just to feel calmer. I searched on the internet and found a list with success rates. It made me happy and calm. It gaves me safety. I was thinking about what method I will do first. Lots of the methods were really painful or really hard to do. Like using a gun. How would I ever get […]
Tag:
Wounds
I’m here but, not all the way. I feel as if I am dying alive. Thye world is picking at my wounds. My cuts are being doused with ALCOHOL! I no longer feel as if, I am a human. I am hurting inside more than words will allow me to explain. I mutiliated my body again, I slash for each person who has hurt me. I Cant deal with this horrible pain. Shattered glass stabs me from within, I bleed an invisible blood. I drip sorrow from my eyes. Where has all of this anger come from, why are my dreams terrorizing my reality? Why […]
After 4 months of not cutting…I’m going to cut tonight.
You dont have to read this and, believe me, i’m not writing this for you.
I’m writing this for me.
For forever I have been trying to show people that I understand and that they’re not alone and that i’ll be here for anyone and I was never needed.
For too long have I held off on cutting for your fucking happiness and so YOU wont have to be disgusted with my fresh wounds.
For years have I held out on stealing YOUR boyfriend because I know that we’re soulmates and HE kissed ME and I […]
i can feel myself gaining weight
i can feel the escalating urges to self mutilate
i can feel the loss of sanity
of minor happiness
i feel the pain that shouldn’t exist
i’m weak
too weak to kill myself
but too weak to give no fucks and live
this aching is tearing at my wounds
these thoughts drowning me
i’m suffocating by the sorrow that surrounds me
alone i’m feeling all of this
yet, alone, i feel nothing
… because i’m worthless.
well as start i never thought that what happened to me exceed others pain,always seemed to me meanless and i always say,for God sake why i’m depressed
my depression came from my past,cuz when i was a child i always been sexually abused by my uncles,i felt dirty and sick,i always tried to tell it to my family but they never cared(until now i’am still being abused)and like this i started to have feeling for girls because everytime a guy touch me i feel disgusted and sick but with girls it was the apposit of it,well i won’t say that i’ am lesbian it was just […]
hey guys, have you ever been made aware that you were going to lose someone and the person you were going to lose didnt want to talk about it or didnt want you to help them?almost like they wanted to die, just give up and die. and you cant really talk to anyone but that one person. and because they dont want to talk about it ect. you bottle it up inside, and its like a wounded dragon who cant lick its wounds. so eventually it lashes out to make people feel or aware of what your feeling, and of course you look like an […]
I’m sure i’m not the only one here who puts on a fake smile, laughs, talks, and pretends to be a perfectly happy person. Everyone at school, besides my best friend, believes the act. I started cutting again 2 days ago. The wounds weren’t deep at all. If i hadn’t done as many as i did, they could pass for cat scratches. Since it’s winter, wearing long sleeves all the time isn’t suspicious. I prefer to anyways, though, because i have 4 years worth of scars on my arms (i didn’t used to have to worry because i had quit for almost a year so […]
I’ve never looked completely normal just enough to ‘pass’.
Whenever my limits reared their ugly heads I was called a ‘faker’. Raised before bullies existed.
Raped by a female classmate before there was anyone to tell. Does that really happen between 2 girls?
The only redeemer was a mind that was sharp but then left out because I got moved ahead. Still alone.
An ‘afterthought’ child with siblings moved to be on their own; just an ‘irritant’ when I was around them.
Raised by a couple who were better as grandparents not wanting to be a mom and dad again; just pretending.
Wanting to be special to someone, be loved and […]
I’ve always gone back, to the place where I once sat and cried. I can remember the pain, watching all the little kids play and me just sitting there and wanting one to come over and ask if I would like to play with them. I remember when I sat on the swing and watch the girls play jump-rope and the boys played one their game-boys. I remember being alone. It hurt everyday, and everyday even more rage would full me up inside because I wouldn’t eat anything. I remember hating myself and wishing I could start over or die. It didn’t help that […]
I can’t share this song I wrote with anyone else because my life is going well at the moment, and I don’t want everyone to go batshit. I have a horrible MP3 of this recorded using my phone if anyone’s interested.
How do you hope when someone else is hurt,
How will you dress their wounds while you’re lying in the dirt?
Your hope is nothing but foolish pride,
You think you’re in love but you’re empty inside.
Keep your toes on the edge of the platform,
The train will come, and heal your wounds.
Walk up to that ledge and close your eyes,
Take a breath […]
I am definitely in a bad place right now. I started cutting again and i am desperate for someone to talk to openly, admitting i have a problem.
There is one person who knows this and ignores it by saying i should know better, and it makes sense. But it is not easy to stop just like that, i have some good periods and than it gets worse. I cut so badly, i cut all the way through the flesh, and it disgusts me the other day. People are already noticing i have to many scars, i keep lying but i don’t know what to say […]
My life has infact, gotten no better. The exercise isn’t looking like anything has changed, I still hate my body. My friends are somewhat ignoring my issues because they make them uncomfortable. Because they never have anything to say to me, so they just smile sympathetically and soon enough it’s forgotten.
What I’ve discovered is that my father has been diagnosed with Bi-Polar, and this explains why he’s such a dick when only moments ago he would have been being lovely. But now, he wants to lean onto me. Because I’m his daughter, and the only thing he has left, I feel obligated to look after him, even though I’m […]
my favorite band motion city soundtrack has lyrics that everyone should consider;
“they say what doesnt kill us
MAKES US WHO WE ARE”
as much as we can all look at our ‘struggles’ and ‘disorders’ as something that defines us, dont let it. dont BE your disorder. dont let it ruin or run your life, from depression panic disorder, bipolar, ED, whatever. youre lettinng whatever created that disorder in the first place make you.
i know how hard it is, to make a conscience effort to just BE YOU everyday with the struggles of school, work, kids, significant others, family and the fucking economyy on […]
If I were to destroy myself today, you wouldnt know or care. If you are going to destroy yourself do it in your honor. Not anyone elses. Maybe if I thought you cared I would be more inclined to destroy myself in your honor.
Ever despise someone so much you’re willing to commit the murder of self right in front of them… I used to say you can only hate someone you love so hate does not apply here. One may be feeling feelings undescribable, far from hate. These feelings affect self directly, that’s how soul deep the wounds are.
See the thing is one cannot lose […]
Power is a filthy poison
for which there is no cure
It steals the soul and taints the life
and can make one quite impure.
Power vibrates in the beast
its sanity has gone
now it bleeds and weeps of greed
and thinks there is no wrong.
So take your need and power’s lust
and choose your victims wise
Scream your battle cry aloud
and shape your prey’s demise.
Demean the different, out and in
and make their life a hell
Carve wounds with words into their soul
and in your hate they dwell.
Destroy those who oppose your will
with shouts and strikes and sin
Claim that […]
I’ve read so many of the stories on here, and I feel that I should write mine, too. Although it isn’t as bad as others, it got me where I am.
Two years ago, my friend confessed to cutting herself. I was devastated, and all I wanted was to be there for her. I didn’t want her to do it anymore, I wanted her to be okay. So I stayed up late for her, and I was her personal therapist for a while. This was when i was 12 years old.
My mum fell pregnant and I cried for the whole weekend. I was already neglected and […]
before you fall in the trap of self harm
You may think you can keep it under control
but u could not be more wrong
it starts to take over ur whole world
it will be all u can think about
you will crave it during the day
you will have a constant pain shooting to your wounds which you have to try and hide
you will lose your ability to open up to people
you will struggle to comfort your friend when they are crying because the only solution you will know will be self harm
the idea of going to the beach […]
When I start cutting again I always wonder why the hell I stopped.
by christina--
written by christina--
It feels so good to cut so deep in your skin that it wont stop bleeding for hours.
I love the feeling afterwards. When the wounds are trying to heal but because youre wearing clothes it keeps on opening again.
I love the way it stings everywhere when I move to remind me what a disgusting piece of trash I am- as if I could forget that.
I love seeing the blood slide down my body.
When I only look at my blade alone I smile. I cant help but smile while I cut myself.
Why would I not smile? This is what I enjoy […]
This is suppose to be over 30 days, but I’ll probably forget about it if I do that, so I’ll do it all now. To be honest, I don’t cut anymore, but I still thought it would be useful to do.
1. How long have you been self harming? Discuss why you started.
On and off for around three years. The first time I started when my brother tried to commit suicide and all the stress from that.
2. What part of your body is most affected by it?
Legs, breasts, back, you know, all the places that are easy to hide the scars
3. What […]
well the other day my friend and I were talking about self harm. She said that reopening wounds was a form of self harm but I said no its just curiosity well I’m here asking people opinion about it.
Is it really considered self harm?