Couldn’t help myself tonight. That picture was so beautiful I had to paint it.
Thank you for the beauty. Hope work is good. Monday. Wow.
Mozart composed this when he was 11. Wow.
I have a friend who is struggling and has gone radio silent. It makes me sad. But I understand the reasons for it even if it makes me introspective tonight. His favorite genre of music isn’t necessarily Mozart, or piano. He is more an electric guitar shredder of sorts. He is also one of the most amazing singers I have ever had the honor of hearing.
Still for some reason I thought of him when I listened to this.
Love yourself and be kind.
Especially you my friend, where […]
Following from earlier post. Just spoke to my mum, she laid total guilt trip on me for not visiting her. Now im in a total manic questioning everything about my rat ass life spiral. !! Stuck between anger and tears. Hating myself and hating her!! The irony is that im 39 fucking years old!!! Why do I feel like im 5 years old again and stuck in between divorcing parents! !! Wow, sorry, I dont mean to project on anyone younger than me. Its just my messed up family. And the worst part is im outta valium and ice cream!!! Could do with some […]
Wow. Just wow.
Sorry for the drama the last week. I’m out the other end. Not sure why. But like everything else in my life I am just going to walk forward.
Thank you everyone for your hands. So many hands and hearts.
HDS
I love how when every body talks about my in-laws and parents and how my parents are over reacting for no reason(they kinda are). No one talkes about the two years of mental abuse from the in laws .the man reason why I din’t want to go to tahoe in there first place . but Im on my way and on my way to death mentaly emotionally hope full pyschicly too Im so tired .
gonna go have to break the news to my rents and eat shit whoo.
Happy February everyone… Today it is 70 degrees. My favorite temp. Not too cold, not too hot. Just perfect. I feel alive today. I stepped outside and felt the nice cool breeze on my skin. Spring is going to come early this year here in Virginia beach. It’s been a warm winter. I’m gonna go to the beach today or go to our state park and walk on the trails.
For some reason, days like this make me happy that i haven’t given up yet on life. It’s so peaceful out and pretty. I wish every day was like this.
I hope all of your days […]
Maybe.. maybe Im not as alone as i thought.. shit..
What a funny night. An ex of mine is the gayest guy who doesn’t know he’s gay. He dumped me for this girl who has facial hair and a unibrow, married her and they started having kids right away. He talks and acts like you would swear he is gay. His profile picture is a gay pride flag. Oh god, haha, some day he will realize he’s gay. And the dudes who were in line with me and my dream guy that e day I met him are a couple?!? Wow! My dream guy gave them tattoos and the dudes stiffed him for payment. But […]
So…after many struggles and trying to lift myself up off of the ground and many blessings, I have finally made it. I MADE IT! I am so proud of myself. As much shit as I’ve been through and I’ve actually made it so far. I lost my dad, I lost my mom to drugs, I lost my house, I lost my dog, I was put in a total strangers house who only wanted me for a paycheck. I made it through high school all by myself. I applied to college all by myself. I am MAKING it. I still have moments where I feel like […]
Anyone ever read tht book, it literally kills me deep inside by mentioning how i actually feel abt death and now it sucks, i cant get over the bk, or, maybe this life, this death thingy .
Wow. Death.
Effexor really does kill your sex drive which is fine by me ’cause it’s not like i’m getting laid anyways. It kinda masks the loneliness feeling away, I don’t even care about being with someone. But seriously trying to jack off takes like 40 minutes and sometimes I don’t even cum o.o. This is on 75 mg a day I wonder what it’s gonna be like when I’m on 225 lmao.
I typed ‘I hate myself’ and I get a website called the suicide project……oh my fucking god this is so wrong!!!!!
I totally just realized how much of a lil ***** I’ve been lately. Things have been way worse before and I didnt break down. Need to just grow the fuck up.
/???????
Please, pardon my language if it’s too much for you.
People see babies, and they often think. “awe, it’s adorable” (Or something of the sort.)
I see a baby, I think. “Wow, some guy put his penis, where pee comes out of, into a girls vagina, where pee comes out of, during sex, and he ejaculated inside of her, and a baby began forming, then after months of growing into a living being that baby then stretched open that females vagina 20 times bigger than it should ever be and came out covered in blood and amniotic fluids. That’s fucking disgusting.”
You texted me first today. You initiated the conversation. You apologised to me. Honestly speaking I have no idea what you’re apologising for. And I don’t know how I should reply your text. I guess I’m too used to not talking to you.
Wow, that’s about all I can say. It’s hard to believe I was about fourteen the last time I logged onto this.
I’m almost sixteen now. It’s scary how much can change even when you feel like you’re stuck in a rut, its terrifying honestly.
My childhood friend is getting married, my other ‘friends’ don’t even speak to me, and I honestly feel worse than I have in forever. My parents found out about everything going on with me, and they think everything is better now, that it just disappeared because the doctors said I was better.
I’m scared… I’m terrified of life, and I don’t know how […]
I can’t figure out why that still astonishes me. Clearly i have encountered this aspect of reality, countless times… but each further encounter, with such things, continues to astonish me.
And i realize this must be some kind of “flaw” in my perception or cognition… but i just can’t seem to avoid being astonished by that, for which i’ve already seen plenty of evidence to justify a reasonable and unwavering expectation.
It’s troubling to me, even on a personal level, because i realize i shouldn’t be astonished, due to the sum total of all my experiences, and the plethora of seemingly endless evidence and indications, serving to […]
Im numb now… no not numb exactly…I have forgiven him all the shit that went down… an addiction is a nasty thing and he is seeking help. has a specialist who deals with the sexual addiction may be going to a inpatient facility for a while… I forgave him (mostly some days it is hard though to remember that) .. now it is just the life with him.. my life ..
Im not sure I want it any more.. not just the life with him but any life.. well obviously im on here it has been like that for a while.
but Im not […]
My life is hell. Â No, I’m not your average guy, and no I’m not looking for attention. Â I’m considering suicide. Â I love my kids, so I have found a way to get through today. Â My wife is driving me insane. Â We fight.. Â dirty.. Â I say things I know hurt her she says things to hurt me, wow how human.. Â however, Â I recant my mean and thoughtless words, and back up my recant with actions. Â I show her what I said is not true. Â On good days I chase her like a school boy and his first crush.. Â I love her madly.. Â she never recants. […]
Dear Readers.
Wow, that sounds weird for some one as new as me, because i tend to not gain attention, Internet-wise or not, but thats besides the point. I am a 13 year old girl, nothing special, and to be honest, i’m not that serious of a case, compared to other people, But what my problem is that i suffer from my negative emotions, and i do mean it quiet  literally. Let me try to clear this up for you. For example, lets assume that you and i used to be really close, but then our relationship… fails. Like i wasn’t as great as a friend then you […]
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