February 17th, 2013 by AscahIsBroken

I want to die in my sleep. Maybe that’s why an overdose on sleeping pills seems so appealing to me. Even if I die painfully and before I can doze off.. The thought of death by a sleep method seems so peaceful, serene and even more beautiful than having conscious thought while tying a noose or pulling the trigger.
What if I don’t want to wake up in heaven?
I don’t want there to be hell either…
I just don’t want to wake up.
The only thing keeping myself from taking those pills is the thought that even after I die… I still have to live in the afterlife.
I believe that the afterlife exists.
But I wish that there was a way for everything just to be over. Done.
No heaven. No hell. Just nothing.

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9 Responses to “Afterlife”

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  1. I don’t think that there is an afterlife.
    We are not able to clearly contemplate non existence.
    So people made up substitute stories for after death.
    Mostly it was to help survivors grieve decedents.
    But we’re supposed to think the same for ourselves too.
    It is probably an adaptation that we cannot imagine death.
    Even just trying to imagine death *ahem* leads to
    Problems, as far as a species’ numbers.

    • I know that there is.
      There are people who’ve been there and come back.
      Although I do respect your beliefs.

  2. For me it’s normal to feel this way. I understand you. I beleive in afterlife too but since I’m here I’ll try my best to make my dreams come true. You are here for some reason. You are learning from others and others are learning from you. Defend your beliefs. Fight for your life and never let them take the light behind your eyes :)

  3. I hope I live in the sky when I die. The place where there’s no more hurt or sorrow only joy.

  4. what if there is no afterlife and nothing like that
    and if u believe in afterlife with a religious view then the people who commit suicide theis souls dont get free easily
    baby live the life u have and do what u can its not easy i know its the hardest but its your life and you have to take the responsibility to fight for yourself and your life

  5. i believe in afterlife but i dont believe in hell or heaven. i believe we just go back to the source whatever that may be… we will soon find out!

  6. reincarnation.? After life.? lose consciousness for ever.?

  7. What if after death we reincarnate and have to face the same problems that we faced in our present lives? How are you settling in your new home Ascah?

    • That’s a scary thought. I hate cycles.

      I’m doing pretty good actually. I like it here.
      But I thought maybe after I moved out I wouldn’t want to cut anymore.
      But it’s all I want to do.
      The urge still follows me.

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