Final consequences

Well I’m 16 and i’ve made a lot of stupid mistakes academically speaking. And just in general. I decided to do online schooling one year in 8th grade because school was so stressful to me at the time. I failed the grade. This made me feel so bad about myself but I went back to school for a solid two years. Managed to pass both grades. Then now, this year, I just didn’t ever go. I had already made up my mind to just commit suicide. I concluded I would never amount to anything but thought, “Hey, I’ll give myself a little vacation first if I’m going to spend the rest of my eternity in hell”. This  said ‘vacation’ has not felt like one. I’m just left to see what a failure I am.  I’ve had all these confusing feelings and I think of my regrets everyday. If I would have stayed in school I could have been successful. No one wants to see me successful I have no support. But I realize now (wish I would have them) that only I determine my future. I should have strived to prove them wrong. To make something of myself. But I’m stupid. I also needed this time to get a few things done first. Like #1 getting my dog put to sleep. My “parents” express their hatred of me to my face. So as apart of their despise towards me they want to “get rid” of my dog. He has his problems. He has a fearful nature. But he’s a great dog and I love him so much. I have enough money to do the deed of getting him put to sleep now but I’m definitely going to wait until the last minute to do so. I’ll hold him and preferably I will follow him within the next 24 hours… I understand it’s 100% my fault. Only me to blame. But now I understand that I don’t have any other choice if I even WANTED to change my mind now since I screwed myself over. Every action has a consequence.