regressing

Hey guys, been off this site for awhile, i was actually pretty proud of myself, been over 2 months since i have self hurt, or contemplated suicide. that was quickly overturned a few days ago, when i learned i was going to a school, a school that contains a girl that used and abused me. she was supposed to be my best friend, and be there for me, i hadn’t had friends in so long, or really ever for that matter, and she was there for me, hung out with me, and made me feel good. but in all this joy, there were tiny red flags that i never caught on to, like i couldn’t ever try to have any other friends, i couldn’t say no, and my views were silenced. but i was so blind sited by the fact i had a friend i didn’t care, her family was about as bad, if not worse, and though this isn’t the worst thing to happen to me, it was defiantly a hard blow, giving me trust, rejection, and overall silence, i guess that was the true start to m suicidal contemplations, and this all started when i was 11, 11! when everyone else was discovering themselves, i was sick, beaten, and then sent to school where one girl paid attention to me, and she used that. that was a few years ago now. My parents don’t seem to think it’s an issue though, just look right past it. if anything they say, just avoid her, but i know she will hunt me down, because i know who she is. and so i am back here, on this site, seeking, i don’t even know anymore, i don’t see hope, understanding, or prayer can do much, because no matter how hard i try, it doesn’t change and I’m still me… fml