My story.

I’ve probably had depression my whole life. It runs in my family, and I was diagnosed at age 13. I am now 18. When I was 13 years old and in the eighth grade, my mom passed away unexpectedly on the morning of Christmas Eve. I began seeing therapists, but it was too soon and I got frustrated and was not getting the help I needed. The very same day I lost my mom, I was forced out of my house by the police. My father, brother, and I had to find somewhere else to live. We moved 5 times between Christmas 2006 and May 2007. At the end of May, we moved into a house that we still live in. In June of ’07, I graduated eighth grade. My mother was not there to watch me.  In August, I started high school. I also came out as bisexual. I was bullied more in high school than I was in elementary school. I became more depressed, and started to cut and scratch myself. I first considered and attempted suicide during this year. During my sophomore year, I transferred to a different high school, in hopes of a new start. I was bullied there even more. I injured myself more, and began to consider suicide every day. I attempted suicide once more. I was hospitalized in a psych ward for a week. During junior year, I transferred back to the first high school. I couldn’t put up with being bullied anymore. In May 2010, an acquaintance of mine from the second high school, and also someone who was in the hospital at the same time as I was, completed suicide. In the following week, I tried to kill myself twice. I was hospitalized again, this time in the emergency room. I was released that day. Later that year, I began my senior year of high school. In April 2011, a classmate committed suicide. I tried so hard not to harm myself, but I couldn’t help but be jealous that she had the courage to finish her suicide. To this day, I still consider suicide daily. I’m still bullied daily, although I graduated high school almost a year ago. I’m extremely self-conscious and have nothing to live for. In the past few months, I have come out as a lesbian, and am comfortable with that, but that is the only thing I can accept about myself. I’m just a confused, self-loathing teenager. I’ve had enough, and I’m ready to give up. That is my story, please comment or contact me if you have any questions or want to talk. I give great advice and can stop anyone from hurting themselves, but am hypocritical and will not listen to someone who tries to stop me from injuring myself. But I am open to questions, comments, concerns, advice, whatever. If you need me, I’m here for you.

Edit: Guys, I really want to commit suicide right now. :/ I already feel dead inside. Now to make it reality..