I want to live, I really, truly do. It’s just that right now, I feel like I’m surviving and life is simply passing me by and I have no idea what to do about it. I mean, I want to die right now because my life means nothing and I’m worried it will forever be like this.
How do you get the confidence to just live? It seems to me that living takes a lot of strength. To me, the difference between living and surviving is simply that feeling of being alive. I don’t feel alive, but I’m surviving anyway. So yeah, I don’t feel alive and I want the courage to. I know what life is supposed to be about- it’s meant to be about living with no real regrets, taking chances, saying ‘I love you’, being honest, smiling, loving, laughing, crying, doing everything you wanted to, doing stuff just because and most of all, feeling real and alive.
I guess I just don’t really feel real at the moment. That’s worrying. My name on here is my name for a reason- I truly do feel like I’m ‘Not Really Here At All’. I feel like I’m missing something, like I’m on this planet but wasting my life. I don’t want to waste my life, but I’m too scared to switch from simply surviving to truly living.
To me, that’s a big step. It seems so scary, so terrifying. I know exactly what I should do, and also how I should do it- it’s just that I’m too afraid to.
Most of all, I’m tired of letting my insecurities and fears dictate who I am and how I live my life. I don’t want to be like this, but right now it feels like anything more than survival is too much.
Any ideas on how I can try to engage in some kind of actual life?
4 comments
I could’ve written this piece. I feel the exact way you do. I cannot help you, but I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
This could be about me. Maybe you should ask someone to help you?
lol Ive pretty much got the same problem, all I can do is smoke too much, drink too much, think too much, and turn to god for truth and real love in my heart .. which is never too much! Living only takes alot of strengh when you get into positions that we’re in, once you get there it shouldnt be so difficult.
I would really like to bring all the people on this website together, we could all chip in and hire a hotel for a weekend, bring some joy into each others lives instead of all sitting round feeling suicidal, might be an idea, a 1st step to living! 🙂
Maybe that wont happen, if you want something good to happen youve got to make it happen right, well i need something good to happen, all the people around me havent been in a place like i have, I want something good to happen, something devine and undenilably good. I want the world to be different, It needs to be different