Losing People

You read the stories of people suffering and slowly dying. You hear the words of being told a person is dead over and over again in your dreams. You see everyone you know around you dying suddenly without signs. You cry every night when you remember them living. You beg God to somehow bring them back to you and alive again. You feel the presence of your lost friends at your side all the time. You replay the scenes of their death over and over again. You spend hours memorizing facts about the people you lost. You reread your last message or recall your last words constantly. You remember your last moment, your last hug, your last goodbye. You stare at the ceiling all day wondering what you could’ve done differently. You blame yourself for the death of your friends. You wonder why you feel guilty when you did the most. You question whether or not you will ever be okay again.