Im so depressed. This week has been shit. And the worst part was it was all little things that have made me think about how good that shiny piece of sharp metal would look in my wrist.
1. School stuff- things about a crappy tattoo portfolio and being called wierd and having something taken away from me? which is quite confusing.
2. Maths exam- ah…exams. doesn’t everyone love them? espicially those with OCD who are terrified to write in pen and hate the thought of people staring at her because her seat was quite near the front.
3. i not long ago dropped my iPod touch in the bath, doubt it will work again -_-.
4. My brother has gone away with the navy on ship- for some reason i miss him like crazy, and i keep thinking of things that could happen while he’s out there.
5. just general depression and… My OCD has gotten worse. again.
i know its not much and people keep telling me that ‘there is always someone who has it worse off than you’. as if thats supposed to fucking help my mood.
some people just don’t know what to say…. some people are better off not saying anthing at all….:/
<3.
7 comments
Jfc, are you me? ._. It doesn’t matter how big or small your problem is. It still hurts you, therefore it /does/ matter. If you need to rant or any advice..I’m here.
aw…thanks. question- whats does jfc mean? O.o x.
lol, sorry, been on the internet too long. x__x Jesus Fucking Christ.
‘know its not much and people keep telling me that ‘there is always someone who has it worse off than you’. as if thats supposed to fucking help my mood.’
yeah, that really cheers me up too that there is other suffering besides my own that is not being attended to. Its like ‘thank god it isn’t me’ or there but for the grace of god go i’ ….Yeah like someone just didn’t happen to be in god’s good graces but oh woopie doupdie do I was touched by luck…so much for them other poor suckers. Yeah that is a real pick me up.
sorry bout your brother – navy is fairly safe right now, compared to say…driving in Houston, TX in anything other than a Hummer. Do you write to him?
ipod…don’t turn it on, don’t use hair dryer…i’ve heard that if you can take it apart or just leave it alone for a couple of days sometimes they still work.
no…he can call and text and facebook, but ive never really missed him like this before. we’re not even that close so its confusing me…and im just leaving the iPod the fuck alone…O.o
maybe you were closer than you knew? what do you miss about him? The title you wrote sounded like lines from a song..reminded me of Dylan’s line: ‘If tomorrow wasn’t such a long time then lonesome would mean nothing to me at all.’
they are just looking at you to see if you are looking at them looking at you to see if you’re looking at them…..most the time
OCD is like diggin our wheels in the mud…..its like trying really hard in one place, contained force in one moment in time, a frozen suspended animation effort…. rather than daring to try real hard in real time where things get messy. Life aint no controlled bleed like cutting is. Real life is like daring to hemorrhage from unforseen cuts
Hope you get a good enough nights rest and let your dream mind swim underwater to retrieve the songs off your ipod from memory…your memory.
haha..thanks, i did dream a lot. mostly random crap that kept getting interuppted 🙁
and yes, the title is ‘Fighting the gravity’ by Blink 182. mosts of my posts titles are song related….
<3.