I Don’t Belong

i dont feel like i belong anywhere in this society. im struggling with my art and life… i practically dont even have a love life… when im with my friends i feel left out like a lost my connections with them like im in a different world… i already know im not apart of my family… im what you would call the black sheep in the heard… my dad despises me because im nothing like him…. just today we got into a fight because i said i was not commuting all the way to wounderland andi told him.. well more like reminded him im alergic to the sun and all he did was yell at me… he still thinks im gay, just because im a little flamboint…. in his eye im nothing but a mistake trash… i miss the old days when samantha was still alive, if she was here she would comfort me andtell me reassuring things… i dont want to live here i dont want live at all… i dont belong…. not here not in this world… im tired of wearing a mask for people… im tired of making up stories and pretending im alright… not that anyone cares…. every single day i wounder if anyone would miss me if i were to just die… the answer is a few people would, the rest wouldnt i know this because i kinow these people, they would only say yes just to look like the good guy… i look forword to the next life maybe ill like myself better maybe i wouldnt be so fucked up… maybe someone will love me for me, just like samantha once did, just maybe i can be happy, maybe i can feel what its like to really smile and not fake smile. just maybe….. :'(