I sit in the rain

I’m sitting in the rain, everything looks so dark, so sad, so hopeless… yet I can’t stop watching. I can’t stand up and say: ENOUGH.

So I sit there trying to understand but there’s nothing to understand… I hear the voice in my head, charming and cold, saying to me things, things I don’t comprehend… questioning me things, things I don’t remember… blaming on things, things I didn’t do.

Such a mess my head is, a pretty bad nightmare…I just can’t wake up. Sometimes I wonder if I’m damaged. Sometimes…

I get in the house still raining, open all the doors to hang in every wall all the pieces of myself, close each and every one of them taking my soul, my air, my mind… I can’t get inside again, now I’m haunted by the memories…

I go back to sit in the rain…