Just to stop breathing.

So basically, right now, I really do not see the point in me living any more, trying any more, even breathing anymore.

It all started to happen, when on day, my so called ‘bestfriend’ (Let’s call her beth) pretty much decided to stop liking me. But, i NEVER did anything to her.  I never bitched about her, never betrayed  her, I was a true best friend. She started telling a few people she don’t like me. Those people are my close friends, so they told me obviously. Now, I don’t have twitter, but she does. My other best friend (let’s call her Amy) does have twitter, so she can see her tweets easily. Amy tells me nearly every tweet that Beth writes. She put one say ‘I’ll ***** about people on twitter if they don’t have it’ I don’t have twitter remember? So, what does she do? Tweets about me.

Now, you might think how do I know these tweets are about me? Well, she decides to put my name in them. The latest one was ‘I fucking hate Alexia, i’ll be bait about her, i dont care, she’s a rude annoying asshole’.

Of course Amy told me straight away, i heard it, broke down inside. I dont get it? What did i ever to to her? And today she writes a pm on blackberry messenger ‘excited because you thought someone was leaving the country forever, but turns out they’re only going for a holiday. Disappointment.’

I knew it was me straight away, because i was going on holiday the day she wrote that. Because a few hours earlier, i wrote as my pm ‘Can’t wait to go on holiday! or something like that. She makes it so obviously in school that she doesnt want me there, she’ll leave me out, not talk to be, ***** about me to other while i’m there. EVERYTHING.

So, i haven’t told anyone apart from Amy. So i turned to cutting instead. Not just cos of the Beth thing, just everything in life pilled up too much. Whats next? I know, to stop breathing, then she’ll be happy right? What else can I do?

Thank you  xx